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#1 2011-02-21 11:58:18

Alternatives
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-09-16
Posts: 1000+

Show off your best jokes

3 Boys were playing hide-and-seek. The first and oldest boy was called 'Shut Up'(seriously, thats his name.). The second boy was named 'Manners' and the third and youngest boy was named 'Troube'. As you can see these kids parents had pretty unoriginal parents. Anyway it was Trouble's turn to be 'it' and while he was counting the others went to hide(DUH). Manners hid in the tree, whil Shut Up hid behind a trashcan in their lane. While Shut Up was hiding a policeman walked down the street and saw Shut Up. This was the conversation that followed.

"Whats your name, kid?".

"Shut Up, sir."

"What! Where are your manners, kid?!"

"Oh, Manners is hiding up in the tree, sir."

"Are you looking for trouble kid!?"

"No sir, Trouble is looking for me!"

lol


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Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say. I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.

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#2 2011-02-21 11:59:57

rufflebee
Scratcher
Registered: 2008-10-15
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

what did the right shoe say to the left shoe?

we're both shoes


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#3 2011-02-21 12:04:34

Alternatives
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-09-16
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

rufflebee wrote:

what did the right shoe say to the left shoe?

we're both shoes

YAYZ


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Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say. I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.

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#4 2011-02-21 12:38:35

blazerv82
Scratcher
Registered: 2008-03-20
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

Mine is a very dirty joke.

The boy fell in the mud.


Pretty Hate Machine, Broken, Closer To God, The Downward Spiral, Further Down The Spiral, The Perfect Drug, The Fragile, And All That Could Have Been, With Teeth, Year Zero, Y34RZ3R0R3M1X3D, Ghosts I-IV, The Slip, Pretty Hate Machine 2010

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#5 2011-02-21 12:46:00

Alternatives
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-09-16
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

blazerv82 wrote:

Mine is a very dirty joke.

The boy fell in the mud.

That is very dirty indeed  hmm


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Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say. I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.

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#6 2011-02-21 13:30:32

Musicstar888
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-12-31
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

What's a beefy mean kids favorite food?
Beef Jerky.  big_smile 

I love jokes that aren't funny.  tongue


Goodbye, Misc. Until we meet again.
You're not alone.

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#7 2011-02-21 13:44:10

bananaman114
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-03-15
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

Ok, all the decent jokes I know are inside jokes...


the sun still shines

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#8 2011-02-21 14:04:27

werdna123
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-06-12
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

Here's one were the audience groans at the end:

A species of snake are becoming endangered so a man asks them how he can help. They ask him to cut down some trees and bring them two them. The man is confused but does as they'd asked. When he brings the wood to them he finally asks "But why do you need wood?" "Oh," replies the snake, "we're adders. We need logs to multiply.

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#9 2011-02-21 14:07:12

Kileymeister
Scratcher
Registered: 2008-04-17
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

werdna123 wrote:

Here's one were the audience groans at the end:

A species of snake are becoming endangered so a man asks them how he can help. They ask him to cut down some trees and bring them two them. The man is confused but does as they'd asked. When he brings the wood to them he finally asks "But why do you need wood?" "Oh," replies the snake, "we're adders. We need logs to multiply.

If they're adders, why are they dealing with exponents?


I'm back, and showcasing two new* projects!  Click left or right on the image below to see!
http://img109.imageshack.us/img109/7905/part1l.pnghttp://img859.imageshack.us/img859/6417/part2bf.png

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#10 2011-02-21 14:08:39

agscratcher
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-09
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

Best unfunny joke:


What do you call a Combine zombie?


A Zombine


Hahaha...not funny Alyx Vance...


http://narwhaler.com/img/yu/5/no-barrel-i-insist-after-you-spiderman-yU5Ua7.jpg

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#11 2011-02-21 14:57:34

thecrazyguy
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-07-22
Posts: 100+

Re: Show off your best jokes

What goes dot-dot-dot-I'm sorry-dash-dash-dash-I'm sorry?
































Remorse code.


I like pie.

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#12 2011-02-21 15:12:16

waveOSBeta
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-12-08
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

bananaman114 wrote:

Ok, all the decent jokes I know are inside jokes...

THIS


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New signature coming soon!  smile

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#13 2011-02-21 15:22:59

Aidan
Scratcher
Registered: 2007-06-15
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

Why did the chicken cross the ro-

ALL GLORY TO HYPNOTOAD

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#14 2011-02-21 15:25:03

Stickman704
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-01-31
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

What did the man say to the other man who just met?

"Hello."


Dun dun dun dun dun dun.... dun dun dun dun dun dun...  tongue

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#15 2011-02-21 15:25:49

LS97
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-06-14
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

I know heaps of funny jokes, but they're all dirty/blonde/racist jokes. I'm not terribly sure the Mods would be happy about me posting them...  tongue

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#16 2011-02-21 15:38:52

agscratcher
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-09
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

LS97 wrote:

I know heaps of funny jokes, but they're all dirty/blonde/racist jokes. I'm not terribly sure the Mods would be happy about me posting them...  tongue

So you ARE a dirty anti-blonde racist! jk


http://narwhaler.com/img/yu/5/no-barrel-i-insist-after-you-spiderman-yU5Ua7.jpg

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#17 2011-02-21 15:41:28

veggieman001
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-02-20
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

a man walks into a bar and says "ouch"


Posts: 20000 - Show all posts

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#18 2011-02-21 17:37:44

bananaman114
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-03-15
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

LS97 wrote:

I know heaps of funny jokes, but they're all dirty/blonde/racist jokes. I'm not terribly sure the Mods would be happy about me posting them...  tongue

Just replace blonde with gorrila. (No, I'm not comparing blondes to gorrilas...)


the sun still shines

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#19 2011-02-21 19:20:08

slapperbob
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-10-28
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

So, there's a kid named Billy at school. 

The teacher asks: " Tell me the first five letters of the ABC's." "Uhhh... I don't know them." Said Billy. "Well go study them!"


So, he went home to his mom, who was on the phone, and asked: "Mom, what's the first letter of the alphabet?"    "SHUTUP!" Yelled Billy's mom.



Then, he went to his sister, who was listening to music. "Sally, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" Billy asked.    "Uh-huh. Oh-yea. Uh-huh. Oh-yea. She said listening to music.




After that, Billy went to his brother, who was watching TV. He asked: "Sam, what's the third letter of the alphabet?"    "Dun-nun-nun-nun-nun-nun-nun-nun, BAT-MAN!" Sam yelled.



Then, he went to his dad, who was taking out the trash. "Dad, what's the fourth letter of the alphabet?"   "In the trash can, in the trash can!" Said his dad, throwing the bag in the can.


Finally, he went to his neighbor's house, who was cooking burgers.

Billy asked: "Mr. Thompson, what's the fifth letter of the alphabet?"    " Honey, mah buns are burnin!" Mr. Thompson said.

Billy went back to school.


"I know the ABC's!" "Okay. Please say them." The teacher said.


"SHUTUP!" Billy said.


"*GASP* Do you want to go to the office, Mr.?"


"Uh-huh, Oh-yea. Uh-huh, Oh-yea." Billy said.

He went to the office.



"Who sent you here?" Asked the principle.
"Dun-nun-nun-nun-nun-nun-nun-nun, BAT-MAN!"

"Where do you live?"
"In the trash can, in the trash can!"

"Do you wanna get a spanking?!"

The principle spanked him right on his bottom.


"Honey, mah buns are burnin!" Billy said.

Last edited by slapperbob (2011-02-22 16:24:09)


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#20 2011-02-21 19:34:42

kayybee
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-12-07
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

Pretty good joke, I've heard it before, but I just don't know what a spainging is.

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#21 2011-02-21 19:44:45

TheGameMaster1231
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-24
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

Once, there was a man that loved cheezburgers.

And he also loved cats.

And the cats loved cheezburgers.

But then he hated cats after they stole his website.

Then he loved mice, cause mice hate cats, and he hate cats too.

But then mice ate all of cheez in cheezburger.

So he hat mice too.

Den he love buffalos, for a reason that I don't know of.

But then buffalo ate socks.

And he love buffalo, cause socks were tight and he were trying to get socks off all day.

But then, he noticed the buffalo had ears like cat, and turns out buffalo was cat in costume cause Halloween.

So he love cat again, cause he ate socks.

THE END.

Moral: Always let cheezburger kitty eat tight sock.

tongue

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#22 2011-02-21 19:46:49

PandaGuy
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-01-10
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

"Hi. My name is Bob."
"My name is Bob, too."

WORST JOKE EVA.  lol

Last edited by PandaGuy (2011-02-21 19:47:11)


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#23 2011-02-21 20:07:36

echs
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-03-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

blazerv82 wrote:

Mine is a very dirty joke.

The boy fell in the mud.

did you take this from my dirty jokes TBG thread :o
anyways my best joke
well my best is inappropriate bu tmy second-best is okay
knock knock
who's there
no one
oh ok


http://i45.tinypic.com/35m4llw.gif

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#24 2011-02-21 20:21:33

soupoftomato
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: Show off your best jokes

There's a crazy guy who asks where the bathroom is at a restaurant. "Down the hall to the left," says the person. The crazy person goes down the hall to the right. There's a golden toilet there. After using the golden toiler a few days, it's not there anymore. The crazy man says, "Where's the golden toilet?!" The worker yells, "FRANK! I FOUND THE GUYS WHO"S BEEN POOPIN IN YA TUBA!"

I had to edit out drunkingness.

Speakin of drunk.

Two guys walked into a bar. The third ducked.

Also,
How many bunnies to change a light bulb?
1 if he hops to it.


I'm glad to think that the community will always be kind and helpful, the language will always be a fun and easy way to be introduced into programming, the motto will always be: Imagine, Program, Share - Nomolos

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#25 2011-02-21 20:30:41

OldWheezerGeezer
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-06-04
Posts: 500+

Re: Show off your best jokes

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!  lol

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