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#51 2013-04-13 21:19:32

Luigitailsdoll45
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Registered: 2009-12-16
Posts: 1000+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic


Derpcepticon.

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#52 2013-04-13 21:19:52

writegirl
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Registered: 2013-04-13
Posts: 16

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

My uncle was going to marry her, but she passed away. That was four years ago.  sad  It wasn't actually on April 21, but that's what rhymed...and it's only based off her.

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#53 2013-04-13 21:24:49

Waffle27
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Registered: 2012-03-21
Posts: 1000+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

Luigitailsdoll45 wrote:

compilation; add your own.

I added some more of my story. Its titled "Black Hole" :3

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#54 2013-04-13 21:27:41

soupoftomato
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

Here's some entirely unrevised stuff from the beginning of a longer piece.

Orson strapped on his new shoes. This pair was special, they were a conceptual design handmade by him. The springs, the light bouncy material he used, it was all to the purpose of one goal. He stood up. The springs may not have been the best idea. He began to wobble on his feet a little bit, almost fell, but then quickly regained his composure and stood up straight.
He began to run. Sproing! From the moment he lifted his foot off, he began to run faster than he ever had before.  Each time his foot pounded the pavement, he became even more impressed with the speed he was able to accomplish, until the increments slowly declined and he stabilized.
    The new shoes required an extreme level of focus. To just run around on springs would be silly - you would never get the proper footing or get much further than falling on your face a couple of times. It required to constantly operate your feet into using certain parts of the feet and little mechanics built in above the sole. Orson’s toes twitched with the rhythm of his pace as he focused on everything he needed to. He was currently balancing several things within his mind; running, the shoes and each individual toe within, keeping aware of his surroundings-
    The edge of the flat rooftop just ahead.
    Orson climbed onto the ledge, then launched himself off. His pinky toe shifted. The jump felt like he was suspended in the middle of the air, frozen but in perfect control. As he flew forward, he threw his feet forward and snapped out the sole to where it was parallel with the roofline of the next building. As he landed, his feet softly pressed down at their angle back onto the soles - allowing him to not only stick the landing but immediately return to running.
    There was a row of buildings still stretching on in front of him. Some taller, some shorter. This was Orson’s first real test run of his new technology, and he began to doubt it as he looked ahead. Could these shoes even do that? These buildings weren’t meant for running on top of . . . The increasing worry began to press on his mind, and his toes slipped around, launching several of the little mechanisms inside at once. As he began to lower his souls, he also began to jump through the air and before he could realize what he had done he was face first on the ground. The empty silence of the nighttime city outskirts seemed to laugh at him.
    Orson picked himself back off, used his hands to dust his clothes, and looked back at the buildings that had caused him to panic. He considered their size and location and became more confident in his judgement. This time, he would make it over all of them.
    He tightened on his experimental shoes and set off. He flew off the building and almost drifted to the next, with a perfect landing as he continued his run forward. This next building happened much the same way, but now he would have to angle himself for the jump onto the abandoned building that would come next.
    The place had once been a bookstore, before that it sold assorted potted plants, and before that it was a children’s playplace. It’s roof went in at a 20 degree angle, then lifted back up and led onto the next building, directly connected and more properly roofed. Orson kicked his soles out again after jumping - but this time further in preparation for the odd angle. As soon as he touched down on the portion, he threw himself forward again and began to prepare for the next upcoming portion of the roof. He had been slowed by the building, but quickly went onto the next that was perfectly flat.
    He was free now. The rest was a series of buildings that got shorter as they went on. Orson could run straight for now, with the occasional adjustment for a small drop-off. He continued on and got to the final building. He jumped off the 20 foot structure and breathed in as he shifted his feet inside the shoes wildly. When he finally landed, he sighed.
    He had done it. The shoes worked. He hoped they had seen that.


I'm glad to think that the community will always be kind and helpful, the language will always be a fun and easy way to be introduced into programming, the motto will always be: Imagine, Program, Share - Nomolos

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#55 2013-04-13 21:31:56

NoxSpooth
Scratcher
Registered: 2013-03-19
Posts: 500+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

Sudden Death by NoxSpooth

A strife
A knife
No more life.


http://i1244.photobucket.com/albums/gg572/BLU_Spy/Best-Cry-Ever_zps3b2b857a.gif Goodbye, 1.4... We'll miss you...

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#56 2013-04-13 21:34:30

Luigitailsdoll45
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Registered: 2009-12-16
Posts: 1000+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

there's a chat, just click on "1 more viewer" if there is

Last edited by Luigitailsdoll45 (2013-04-13 21:40:29)


Derpcepticon.

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#57 2013-04-13 21:35:13

Waffle27
Scratcher
Registered: 2012-03-21
Posts: 1000+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

Upside Down by Waffle27:

The Tisket won't Tisk
The Tasket won't Task
The Ets refuse to end that

The flower won't bloom
The sparrow won't sing
The prince refuses to be king.

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#58 2013-04-13 21:37:38

soupoftomato
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

Luigitailsdoll45 wrote:

please add them to the doc

I refuse to be part of your system


I'm glad to think that the community will always be kind and helpful, the language will always be a fun and easy way to be introduced into programming, the motto will always be: Imagine, Program, Share - Nomolos

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#59 2013-04-13 21:40:47

writegirl
New Scratcher
Registered: 2013-04-13
Posts: 16

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

Wow, soupoftomato! Your story is very descriptive.  smile
Here is an excerpt of the fantasy novel I'm writing, it's supposed to be kinda mysterious and spooky. This is towards the beginning.

    “Hello?” Sadie said, again. She shivered under the sheets. It was cold in her new bedroom, and the cardboard boxes of unpacked items she owned lurked in the corner, making scary shapes. Lightning flashed outside the window, illuminating momentarily her pink glasses on the bedside table, and she put them on. “Hello?” She didn’t want to admit she was afraid. Todd would make fun of her later, if he knew about that. The rattling noise in walls persisted.
    Sadie was getting tired, though, she couldn’t stay up all night. She was jet-lagged. She watched rain lash the windows and was almost lulled to sleep… well, almost. Just then she saw a pair of blood red eyes staring out the window. They seemed almost… bloodthirsty. “Help!” screamed Sadie, a new kind of fear bursting in her heart.
    Then her eyelids fluttered open. She stared at a patch of white ceiling above her, it was just a dream. “Thank goodness!” murmured Sadie. Suddenly, she noticed the pink frames of her glasses pressing into the pillow.
    “So… that part was real,” said Sadie to herself, getting a little nervous again.
    She got out of bed, cautiously. Her bunny slippers waited on the floor but she didn’t see them and Sadie didn’t like the way the cold floor felt.
    Outside, yellow and pink light poured into the sky, and then melting like butter. Sadie watched it with mild interest. It was morning again, and it wasn’t raining. But… the rattling noise came again.
    “Todd, that isn’t funny,” she cried out, making the sheets like a shawl around her shoulders… “Don’t try and scare me! It doesn’t work, you know.” Now that Sadie was twelve, she knew that a lot of things shouldn’t scare her, so she was upset to find she was afraid.
    “Todd…?” said a husky voice from the walls.

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#60 2013-04-13 21:46:26

soupoftomato
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

writegirl wrote:

Wow, soupoftomato! Your story is very descriptive.  smile

Hardly, that was a lot more rushed than it could have been as I was trying to not bog down the pace of him running.

Were the eyes in your story, staring OUT or IN? Staring out would imply he is already in the room but she wouldn't be able to see his eyes, would she?


I'm glad to think that the community will always be kind and helpful, the language will always be a fun and easy way to be introduced into programming, the motto will always be: Imagine, Program, Share - Nomolos

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#61 2013-04-13 21:49:46

writegirl
New Scratcher
Registered: 2013-04-13
Posts: 16

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

Oh, you're right! Thanks, I didn't catch that.  smile

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#62 2013-04-13 21:51:58

Luigitailsdoll45
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-12-16
Posts: 1000+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

Only complete works will be posted, by the way.
If the author decides to work on it through the doc, I can live with that.


Derpcepticon.

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#63 2013-04-13 21:56:13

luiysia
Scratcher
Registered: 2011-07-05
Posts: 1000+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

Waffle27 wrote:

Upside Down by Waffle27:

The Tisket won't Tisk
The Tasket won't Task
The Ets refuse to end that

is this a reference to the nursery rhyme or did you just make up words

also, @soup: almost a sixth of your sentences began with "orson did x", it feels kind of jarring to me? probably just me though.


http://i50.tinypic.com/dx00pd.gif

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#64 2013-04-13 22:23:22

Waffle27
Scratcher
Registered: 2012-03-21
Posts: 1000+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

luiysia wrote:

Waffle27 wrote:

Upside Down by Waffle27:

The Tisket won't Tisk
The Tasket won't Task
The Ets refuse to end that

is this a reference to the nursery rhyme or did you just make up words

also, @soup: almost a sixth of your sentences began with "orson did x", it feels kind of jarring to me? probably just me though.

From the nursery rhyme.  smile  Although I do make up words a lot, at my school thats what they know me for.

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#65 2013-04-13 23:24:21

soupoftomato
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

Waffle27 wrote:

luiysia wrote:

Waffle27 wrote:

Upside Down by Waffle27:

The Tisket won't Tisk
The Tasket won't Task
The Ets refuse to end that

is this a reference to the nursery rhyme or did you just make up words

also, @soup: almost a sixth of your sentences began with "orson did x", it feels kind of jarring to me? probably just me though.

Although I do make up words a lot, at my school thats what they know me for.

Are you trying to be Doctor Seuss.

(Making up words doesn't really work unless you're Shakespear or Dr. Seuss)

Last edited by soupoftomato (2013-04-13 23:24:48)


I'm glad to think that the community will always be kind and helpful, the language will always be a fun and easy way to be introduced into programming, the motto will always be: Imagine, Program, Share - Nomolos

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#66 2013-04-13 23:34:25

Waffle27
Scratcher
Registered: 2012-03-21
Posts: 1000+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

I'm sorry.

Nope, not trying to be Dr. Suess, just like making up words.  tongue  Sorry again for any confusion frustration dissapointment or any other negative feelings I have caused.

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#67 2013-04-13 23:42:26

Waffle27
Scratcher
Registered: 2012-03-21
Posts: 1000+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

Btw those words weren't made up, lol thier from a nursery rhyme.

Most of my made up words are stuff like Honkledorfs and Inkyhoes that come to me in dreams. Yes, I dream about Inkyhoes and Honkledorfs. Again, sorry if this disturbs you. I didn't mean to, I promise. If it makes you feel better, I can delete the poem. I had no idea this would make people so sad. I'm so so sorry!!!!

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#68 2013-04-13 23:45:08

Sellout
Scratcher
Registered: 2013-03-28
Posts: 500+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

Waffle27 wrote:

Btw those words weren't made up, lol thier from a nursery rhyme.

Most of my made up words are stuff like Honkledorfs and Inkyhoes that come to me in dreams. Yes, I dream about Inkyhoes and Honkledorfs. Again, sorry if this disturbs you. I didn't mean to, I promise. If it makes you feel better, I can delete the poem. I had no idea this would make people so sad. I'm so so sorry!!!!

It's okay!! The poem is fine and so are your dreams!!

Sometimes people call me crazy when I talk about what I see in my dreams  sad  But it's not my fault my subconscious is a freak! xD


I would rather be alone than pretend I feel alright

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#69 2013-04-13 23:47:24

soupoftomato
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

Waffle27 wrote:

Btw those words weren't made up, lol thier from a nursery rhyme.

Most of my made up words are stuff like Honkledorfs and Inkyhoes that come to me in dreams. Yes, I dream about Inkyhoes and Honkledorfs. Again, sorry if this disturbs you. I didn't mean to, I promise. If it makes you feel better, I can delete the poem. I had no idea this would make people so sad. I'm so so sorry!!!!

Alright an Inkyhoe is some sort of sentient boot right?
Yes, good.

And a Honkledorf is a greybearded gnome of about 3 feet in height?


I'm glad to think that the community will always be kind and helpful, the language will always be a fun and easy way to be introduced into programming, the motto will always be: Imagine, Program, Share - Nomolos

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#70 2013-04-13 23:47:50

Waffle27
Scratcher
Registered: 2012-03-21
Posts: 1000+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

Sellout wrote:

Waffle27 wrote:

Btw those words weren't made up, lol thier from a nursery rhyme.

Most of my made up words are stuff like Honkledorfs and Inkyhoes that come to me in dreams. Yes, I dream about Inkyhoes and Honkledorfs. Again, sorry if this disturbs you. I didn't mean to, I promise. If it makes you feel better, I can delete the poem. I had no idea this would make people so sad. I'm so so sorry!!!!

It's okay!! The poem is fine and so are your dreams!!

Sometimes people call me crazy when I talk about what I see in my dreams  sad  But it's not my fault my subconscious is a freak! xD

I know right? Some people can control there dreams, others cant and I cant. Its not really my fault. I wonder if Dr. Suess had dreams where he invented his weird words.

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#71 2013-04-13 23:52:10

Sellout
Scratcher
Registered: 2013-03-28
Posts: 500+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

I'm sure lots of "brilliant" authors had dreams of things that would be considered "insane" if they weren't already established as a "brilliant" person


I would rather be alone than pretend I feel alright

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#72 2013-04-13 23:57:22

Waffle27
Scratcher
Registered: 2012-03-21
Posts: 1000+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

Sellout wrote:

I'm sure lots of "brilliant" authors had dreams of things that would be considered "insane" if they weren't already established as a "brilliant" person

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde was based off a dream the author had.  smile

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#73 2013-04-13 23:57:38

soupoftomato
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

Sellout wrote:

I'm sure lots of "brilliant" authors had dreams of things that would be considered "insane" if they weren't already established as a "brilliant" person

Becoming someone famous for being intellectual is basically a free-pass to be eccentric without judgement.

Last edited by soupoftomato (2013-04-13 23:57:55)


I'm glad to think that the community will always be kind and helpful, the language will always be a fun and easy way to be introduced into programming, the motto will always be: Imagine, Program, Share - Nomolos

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#74 2013-04-14 00:06:16

soupoftomato
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

Waffle27 wrote:

Sellout wrote:

I'm sure lots of "brilliant" authors had dreams of things that would be considered "insane" if they weren't already established as a "brilliant" person

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde was based off a dream the author had.  smile

Twilight was as well so I suppose it's random chance as to whether you should follow through on them


I'm glad to think that the community will always be kind and helpful, the language will always be a fun and easy way to be introduced into programming, the motto will always be: Imagine, Program, Share - Nomolos

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#75 2013-04-14 00:07:42

Sellout
Scratcher
Registered: 2013-03-28
Posts: 500+

Re: The (New!) Writing Official Topic

Well, Twilight ended up making Stephanie Meyer a lot of money. I would probably not want to trade personal pride for the $$$ but I'm sure plenty of people would


I would rather be alone than pretend I feel alright

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