Scratch

My uncle was going to marry her, but she passed away. That was four years ago.    It wasn't actually on April 21, but that's what rhymed...and it's only based off her.

Here's some entirely unrevised stuff from the beginning of a longer piece.

Orson strapped on his new shoes. This pair was special, they were a conceptual design handmade by him. The springs, the light bouncy material he used, it was all to the purpose of one goal. He stood up. The springs may not have been the best idea. He began to wobble on his feet a little bit, almost fell, but then quickly regained his composure and stood up straight.
He began to run. Sproing! From the moment he lifted his foot off, he began to run faster than he ever had before.  Each time his foot pounded the pavement, he became even more impressed with the speed he was able to accomplish, until the increments slowly declined and he stabilized.
    The new shoes required an extreme level of focus. To just run around on springs would be silly - you would never get the proper footing or get much further than falling on your face a couple of times. It required to constantly operate your feet into using certain parts of the feet and little mechanics built in above the sole. Orson’s toes twitched with the rhythm of his pace as he focused on everything he needed to. He was currently balancing several things within his mind; running, the shoes and each individual toe within, keeping aware of his surroundings-
    The edge of the flat rooftop just ahead.
    Orson climbed onto the ledge, then launched himself off. His pinky toe shifted. The jump felt like he was suspended in the middle of the air, frozen but in perfect control. As he flew forward, he threw his feet forward and snapped out the sole to where it was parallel with the roofline of the next building. As he landed, his feet softly pressed down at their angle back onto the soles - allowing him to not only stick the landing but immediately return to running.
    There was a row of buildings still stretching on in front of him. Some taller, some shorter. This was Orson’s first real test run of his new technology, and he began to doubt it as he looked ahead. Could these shoes even do that? These buildings weren’t meant for running on top of . . . The increasing worry began to press on his mind, and his toes slipped around, launching several of the little mechanisms inside at once. As he began to lower his souls, he also began to jump through the air and before he could realize what he had done he was face first on the ground. The empty silence of the nighttime city outskirts seemed to laugh at him.
    Orson picked himself back off, used his hands to dust his clothes, and looked back at the buildings that had caused him to panic. He considered their size and location and became more confident in his judgement. This time, he would make it over all of them.
    He tightened on his experimental shoes and set off. He flew off the building and almost drifted to the next, with a perfect landing as he continued his run forward. This next building happened much the same way, but now he would have to angle himself for the jump onto the abandoned building that would come next.
    The place had once been a bookstore, before that it sold assorted potted plants, and before that it was a children’s playplace. It’s roof went in at a 20 degree angle, then lifted back up and led onto the next building, directly connected and more properly roofed. Orson kicked his soles out again after jumping - but this time further in preparation for the odd angle. As soon as he touched down on the portion, he threw himself forward again and began to prepare for the next upcoming portion of the roof. He had been slowed by the building, but quickly went onto the next that was perfectly flat.
    He was free now. The rest was a series of buildings that got shorter as they went on. Orson could run straight for now, with the occasional adjustment for a small drop-off. He continued on and got to the final building. He jumped off the 20 foot structure and breathed in as he shifted his feet inside the shoes wildly. When he finally landed, he sighed.
    He had done it. The shoes worked. He hoped they had seen that.

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Last edited by Luigitailsdoll45 (2013-04-13 21:40:29)

Luigitailsdoll45 wrote:

please add them to the doc

I refuse to be part of your system

writegirl wrote:

Wow, soupoftomato! Your story is very descriptive. 

Hardly, that was a lot more rushed than it could have been as I was trying to not bog down the pace of him running.

Were the eyes in your story, staring OUT or IN? Staring out would imply he is already in the room but she wouldn't be able to see his eyes, would she?

Only complete works will be posted, by the way.
If the author decides to work on it through the doc, I can live with that.

luiysia wrote:

Waffle27 wrote:

Upside Down by Waffle27:

The Tisket won't Tisk
The Tasket won't Task
The Ets refuse to end that

is this a reference to the nursery rhyme or did you just make up words

also, @soup: almost a sixth of your sentences began with "orson did x", it feels kind of jarring to me? probably just me though.

From the nursery rhyme.    Although I do make up words a lot, at my school thats what they know me for.

I'm sorry.

Nope, not trying to be Dr. Suess, just like making up words.    Sorry again for any confusion frustration dissapointment or any other negative feelings I have caused.

Waffle27 wrote:

Btw those words weren't made up, lol thier from a nursery rhyme.

Most of my made up words are stuff like Honkledorfs and Inkyhoes that come to me in dreams. Yes, I dream about Inkyhoes and Honkledorfs. Again, sorry if this disturbs you. I didn't mean to, I promise. If it makes you feel better, I can delete the poem. I had no idea this would make people so sad. I'm so so sorry!!!!

It's okay!! The poem is fine and so are your dreams!!

Sometimes people call me crazy when I talk about what I see in my dreams    But it's not my fault my subconscious is a freak! xD

Sellout wrote:

Waffle27 wrote:

Btw those words weren't made up, lol thier from a nursery rhyme.

Most of my made up words are stuff like Honkledorfs and Inkyhoes that come to me in dreams. Yes, I dream about Inkyhoes and Honkledorfs. Again, sorry if this disturbs you. I didn't mean to, I promise. If it makes you feel better, I can delete the poem. I had no idea this would make people so sad. I'm so so sorry!!!!

It's okay!! The poem is fine and so are your dreams!!

Sometimes people call me crazy when I talk about what I see in my dreams    But it's not my fault my subconscious is a freak! xD

I know right? Some people can control there dreams, others cant and I cant. Its not really my fault. I wonder if Dr. Suess had dreams where he invented his weird words.

Sellout wrote:

I'm sure lots of "brilliant" authors had dreams of things that would be considered "insane" if they weren't already established as a "brilliant" person

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde was based off a dream the author had. 

Waffle27 wrote:

Sellout wrote:

I'm sure lots of "brilliant" authors had dreams of things that would be considered "insane" if they weren't already established as a "brilliant" person

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde was based off a dream the author had. 

Twilight was as well so I suppose it's random chance as to whether you should follow through on them