Brainy if you're reading this, please visit this: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
And I know it's scary, but consider calling CPS or in your state.
This was advice from a trusted hotline.

If you don't feel comfortable calling CPS, that's alright. Maybe try another hotline?
But please hang in there, we love you and you only have a few more years before you can leave. Stay strong man <3