Scratch

A third story by me (hopefully will be successful, if you want to be in it ask  )

HERE WE GO!

Story wrote:

I clenched the ground. It was soft and molded around my fingers. I ached all over and my eyelids felt heavier than elephants. I felt a burn mark on my left thigh. How did that happen? I wiggled my toes to get some feeling back in them. Much better. I then began to bend my knees and, ever so slowly, lift myself from where I lay. That's when I got a first look at my surroundings. A beautiful blue sea stretched beyond my view. Coral littered the coast of the beach; fish of all shapes, colors, and sizes gracefully swam in perfect harmony in their environment. I turned, and that's when I noticed what existed behind me. Palm trees scattered the coastline, molding into a dense forest of beauty with elegant flowers which dominated the under bush. Was I given a gift or a punishment? I was in awe of how the forest quickly dispersed where two mountains rose and a volcano dominated the horizon. This is surely a paradise! That's when a portion of my memory returned. My boat had crashed among the reefs. Dashing to where I could vaguely remember the vessel being in ruins. It was a hideous sight. The air smelt of burnt metal and of blood. Materials were scattered everywhere. Then I noticed a trail where it seemed I bounced down the beach. Surely there must be more I fail to remember?

I walked along the coast, surveying the landscape. Thats when I noticed it was starting to get dark out. Better find some shelter. I searched for maybe an hour before finding a fallen tree. I lay palms on one side to make a small lean-to. Home sweet home. I'll work on it more tomorrow. I slept like a baby. Or however a baby would sleep after surviving a boat explosion. My stomach sounded like an angry lion. I used a sharp piece of metal from the boat to make a simple fishing spear. Wading in the reef I only managed to actually catch 2 fish. Good enough for now. I made a fire using some gasoline and a survival kit I salvaged from the boat. While my breakfast was cooking I decided to leave my spear at my house and go look for some fruit to go along with my meal. I had just finished collecting some fallen coconuts when I caught glimpse of some sort of animal. I left my load and decided to follow its trail. I tracked until I came to a fresh water spring. The water was perfectly clear and looked like a see of crystals. Then I noticed the giant boar that was now posed to charge. Just my luck. Slowly backing into the trees, I thought of some sort of plan if it attacked. I could come up with anything. Suddenly it sprinted towards me, tusks pointed at my heart. In a blink of an eye I dove to a side. The boar took a few seconds to comprehend what had happened then came at me again. I dove again. But this time the boar knew what was going to happen and clipped my good leg in mid dive. I felt the sharp tusk pierce my skin. I grunted in agony. I need a new plan. I broke into a dead sprint for my house. I had a lead but the boar was gaining quickly. I made it just in time to grab my spear, dive to a side and throw my spear. It slammed against the boars side. Puncturing its ribs and driving its self into its lungs. The beast became agitated and tried to run at me but it was much slower now. I had enough time to get the large knife out of the survival kit. While it fidgeted with the spear i jumped on its back and drove the knife into the back of its neck. Blood stained the sand and my clothes. This is a heck of a lot better than some stupid fish.

Thoughts?    Rate out of 10? 
Thanks to Wickimen for the editing

Last edited by murpho (2011-10-14 16:55:16)