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#1 2011-09-05 16:53:18

PlutoIsHades
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-10-18
Posts: 1000+

Minecraft Survivor - A Story By Me

A story of Minecraft.  I'm going to keep updating every so often.  Suggestions welcome.

Chapter One
       I was falling...falling...falling...I landed and screamed! 
       My eyes snapped open. Oh, phew, a dream.  Just a dream.... Then I looked around at my surroundings.
       I was standing(standing?) on a patch of grass, leaning against a tree.  In front of me a small, crystal-clear pool of water rippled under the early morning sun and the grass was flat, weirdly enough.
       My heart missed a beat as a "MOO!" broke the eerie silence!  Whirling around, I let out a deep breath.  A cow.  Nearby, a pig, two sheep, and four chickens.  But why was everything so blocky? 
       I punched the tree several times and jumped back as a block of wood came flying off it!  What the...it's not falling?  Curious, I punched another and it sailed off the tree, all in one piece.  Again and again I did this.  Whoa!  What happened to gravity?
       What about dirt?  I punched at the dirt and it disintegrated into a cube that magically warped into my backpack, just like the wood!
       Stone?  I bit my lip at the pain as I beat a gray rock with my fist.  But it just broke into a pile of useless pebbles and I was left cleaning my hand, bloodied from the stone, on my shirt.
       Night was approaching.  A sudden wave of darkness washed over me and I jumped.  Then another, and another, until it was really dark and I could barely see.
       Behind me, something hissed.  A snake?
       KABOOM!  I screamed as something knocked me flat and shot the ground out from under me!  Shaken, both figuratively and literally, I lay there a moment, panting, then I finally got up and stared at the disfigured carcass that lay in front of me.
      In terms of shape, it was like a rectangle with two fat, square legs.  The face had only dots for eyes and a mouth.  Its color was a digustingly mottled green that not even the crankiest old lady would wear.  I could see inside of it a pile of gray dust, but then it warped into my backpack.
      Twang!  I screamed and jumped with pain and surprise as an arrow took me through the hand!  Grabbing a stick, I yelled, "Who's there?  Show yourselves, you stinking cowards!"
       Clink.  Clink.  Clink.  The stick trembled under my fingers, lances of pain stabbing my hand over and over.
        Twang!  Twang!  The last thing I saw was an insanely freaky skeleton standing over me, bow in hand, then I was standing by the small pool.

Chapter Two
       They say the only time you die in dreams is if you're really dead.  But this was a dream...wasn't it?
       I glanced at my hand.  No more arrow!  Then I remembered the skeleton archer and that...that...thing.  What kind of world was this?
      A hissing sound behind me!  I whirled and skipped back several paces, this time catching sight of the ugly creature before...KABOOM!  I teetered on the edge of the huge hole, then stepped back to safety.
       The gray powder warped into my empty backpack and I realized I must have lost all the wood and dirt when I...died?
       I grabbed a block of wood, wrenched it from the tree, and snapped into sticks, then hurriedly made a wooden swordish thing. 
       A hissing sound, but different this time, quicker, more like a "twish" than a "hiss".  I whirled in the direction of the sound, my heart missing a beat as I caught sight of something black, a spider!  Its eyes glowed red like the embers of a fire. 
       And then it was on me!  I screamed and struggled under the huge, hairy legs, flailing about with my sword!  I struck it once, twice, three, four times!  Wrenching myself from the spider's sticky embrace, I held my sword out tremblingly as it ran towards me! 
       Then it ran straight on to the wooden blade and it was dead!
       A wave of excitement and relief swept through me as I bent to take the string from the giant arachnid's carcass.  I was going to survive.

Last edited by PlutoIsHades (2011-09-06 16:06:09)


Minecraft, Redwall, and Cyberchase fan, and PROUD.

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#2 2011-09-05 16:56:29

kimmy123
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Registered: 2008-05-20
Posts: 1000+

Re: Minecraft Survivor - A Story By Me

I like it.  big_smile


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#3 2011-09-05 16:57:38

PlutoIsHades
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-10-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: Minecraft Survivor - A Story By Me

kimmy123 wrote:

I like it.  big_smile

Thanks!


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#4 2011-09-05 17:21:18

PlutoIsHades
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-10-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: Minecraft Survivor - A Story By Me

Bumpity bumpers.  tongue


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#5 2011-09-05 17:34:49

banana500
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-09-06
Posts: 1000+

Re: Minecraft Survivor - A Story By Me

Nice, although the opening is a little cliche, as with a lot of Minecraft stories. Instead of awaking on a beach, why not in a forest clearing?  tongue

Plus, the chapter's a little short, and you should add more detail of how the character got all of his items and describing his emotions when he first started getting attacked. But it's good, and I hope to see more.  smile


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#6 2011-09-05 17:44:42

Albertt911
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-09-28
Posts: 1000+

Re: Minecraft Survivor - A Story By Me

Really good! I think you could describe everything a bit more, like describing what you see, and what your surroundings are like.

When I read that cow bit, I thought the cow was going to lick  your face as you turned around :3


'The only problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are so certain of themselves, and the wise so full of doubt.'
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#7 2011-09-06 12:47:54

ipodbiped
Scratcher
Registered: 2011-02-06
Posts: 1000+

Re: Minecraft Survivor - A Story By Me

Creeper XD

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#8 2011-09-06 13:04:21

PlutoIsHades
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-10-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: Minecraft Survivor - A Story By Me

banana500 wrote:

Nice, although the opening is a little cliche, as with a lot of Minecraft stories. Instead of awaking on a beach, why not in a forest clearing?  tongue

Well, most of the time, you spawn on a beach.  I could try that, though.  Thanks.


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#9 2011-09-06 13:15:51

Nexstudent
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-02-07
Posts: 1000+

Re: Minecraft Survivor - A Story By Me

It's pretty good, although its a little lacking of details, and not as fluent as need be.

Good start though!


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#10 2011-09-06 16:06:26

PlutoIsHades
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-10-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: Minecraft Survivor - A Story By Me

Chapter two added!


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#11 2011-09-06 16:16:25

PlutoIsHades
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-10-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: Minecraft Survivor - A Story By Me

Bump...bump...bump...
(Jumps off trampoline.)


Minecraft, Redwall, and Cyberchase fan, and PROUD.

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#12 2011-09-06 16:49:44

gbear605
Scratcher
Registered: 2008-03-06
Posts: 1000+

Re: Minecraft Survivor - A Story By Me

nice.


Yeah, I'm mostly inactive.  I check in once in a while though.  If you want to contact me, I have a contact form at my website, http://escratch.org

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#13 2011-09-06 17:30:41

PlutoIsHades
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-10-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: Minecraft Survivor - A Story By Me

Bumpers.


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#14 2011-09-07 00:01:57

MrMokey
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-05-06
Posts: 1000+

Re: Minecraft Survivor - A Story By Me

Everyone knows you always spawn on sand  tongue  thats my minecraft forum response, my scratch forum response is that it us great. I would have liked the cow to lick your face as suggested above :p


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#15 2011-09-07 08:44:10

rabbit1131
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-10-16
Posts: 1000+

Re: Minecraft Survivor - A Story By Me

I like it, however, the only error is that I'm not in it. Other than that, great story!


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#16 2011-09-07 08:47:27

cpumaster930
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-02-23
Posts: 100+

Re: Minecraft Survivor - A Story By Me

rabbit1131 wrote:

I like it, however, the only error is that I'm not in it. Other than that, great story!

xD

@Pluto: I really like the story, being that I'm a minecraft addict  tongue
Keep up the good work!  big_smile


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#17 2011-09-07 16:47:30

bananaman114
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Registered: 2010-03-15
Posts: 1000+

Re: Minecraft Survivor - A Story By Me

Why would you randomly punch a tree


the sun still shines

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#18 2011-09-07 17:51:05

banana500
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-09-06
Posts: 1000+

Re: Minecraft Survivor - A Story By Me

bananaman114 wrote:

Why would you randomly punch a tree

Because that's what do you in Minecraft?  lol

Maybe he had so many questions that he began to punch the tree in frustration. That's how it goes in my MC story.


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