Scratch

GravityCatisalie wrote:

Are you talking about that minecraft character? [/actinglikehedidntreadthepost]

Holy * Steve Evolved

GravityCatisalie wrote:

Holy * Steve Evolved

Funny. Now read the story or get out.

GravityCatisalie wrote:

somelia wrote:

GravityCatisalie wrote:

Holy * Steve Evolved

Funny. Now read the story or get out.

I read both...

Any constructive criticism for either?

GravityCatisalie wrote:

somelia wrote:

GravityCatisalie wrote:

I read both...

Any constructive criticism for either?

I think you should be a bit more descriptive. Other, than that, it's a great story to tell at a campfire.

Oh, okay. Thank you.

It's almost time for me to go to bed. I'll work on the details later.

soupoftomato wrote:

First one was better.

You basically trash the surprise ending of the first one. In the first one your like, we found him mauled by a bear and on his wrists cuts seemed to spell, "I AM STEVE" in the second on your like, we found him dead, his arm said i am steve.

Okay. V3 coming up tomorrow.

somelia wrote:

STEVE V2
There once was a boy who went to my camp. He had blond hair, that he almost never brushed. I never knew him very well.

The weird thing about him...he would always add another counselor to the list, whenever he was asked to name all of them. Steve, was the other one.

A counselor asked the boy about this. He didn't respond, but after a while he explained that Steve had gotten killed by a bear.

In the following days, the boy had began to act very strange. He'd bought three stuffed animals at the camp store, and we found all of them hung by their necks off of trees. I was starting to get very disturbed by this.

Then...he died. We found him dead on the sidewalk, with cuts all over him. It looked like a bear attack. Looking at his arm, we noticed it seemed to spell "I AM STEVE."

The next day a girl in my cabin found the boy's journal. Written down in it were strange messages, most of them blurry the the point where it's impossible to read, but a few were readable, and those had messages such as "HE'S HERE," "STEVE," "THE END IS NEAR."

A few days later the girl that found the diary was found drowned in the creek.

When I found her diary, the same types of messages were copied down in it.

As I am typing this, my arms are bleeding. I am becoming dizzy from the pain and there is no doubt that I will die from lack of blood soon. I blame this on the mysterious counselor and the two children laughing behind me...

The bleeding in my arms stops, and I look behind myself. The counselor and children are gone, but there is a man with a knife and a creepy smile behind me. I blink twice and he's gone.

I make my way to the phone in the kitchen. My wounds have opened up again, and I am bleeding. I am again dizzy. I dial 9-1-1. I am in need of help...desperately.

"Hello?"

"H-h-help!"

I black out.

When I awaken I am in a hospital room. The heartbeat reader is showing my heartbeat. It's faint, but it's there. I would sigh in relief if I weren't this weak.

But my arms...there is a message written here...

"Steve is here"

My other arm has the message

"And he killed you."

The nurse comes into the room, accompanied by a doctor. The doctor has a smile that is all too familiar...

...I scream in terror. I black out.

And this time, I'll never awaken.

WOA!  way more scary then the first one

Wickimen wrote:

o_o Creepy. Good 
You should add an epilogue where a boy in the hospital with a ruptured appendix or something equally tragic shoves his hand under the cot mattress and discovers 'your' journal... 

Yeah...! I have a great idea!

Will post the PDF files online tomorrow or perhaps later today.