Scratch

*Hey everybody. This post is gonna be long and I don't mind if you to read it or not, I just wanted to write it down for some reason.*

I used to visit Scratch a lot back in the day on an alternate account. It's been a looong 2 years and 6 months since I published my very first project using 5 sprites and 7 scripts. After that, I moved onto other programs and have only recently gotten back into Scratch. And after I finished watching my most recent project with 49 sprites and 276 scripts, I realized just how far I've come. I logged back into my old account and while I typed my password, I flashed back to the days of August 2008 and somehow felt nostalgic. I watched my old projects. I looked at my old galleries and old friends. While watching some projects, I remembered the hours that I spent just trying to fix a problem. I remembered combing dozens of projects just to find a single one to add to my growing gallery. I had also realized that most of my 46 friends were long gone and many of their projects were all deleted too. That made me sad for some reason. I had never known these people in real life, so why was I depressed about losing them? I assume it's similar to the feeling of not being able to say goodbye to your brother before he leaves for college. I felt like I needed closure of some sort. I searched many of my favorite scratchers. They were idols to me. I looked upon them with greater respect than I did on many of my teachers. But they were all gone too. I guess my fantasy of M44 viewing my project and then adding it to his favorites so that I could amass thousands of views was gone too. That also kinda made me sad.

I went through my comments list and my 758 messages that I never bothered to delete. I felt like a pretty big idiot here. I thought it was kind of funny how I never used correct punctuation or even put any real thoughts into my posts. But mostly I was embarrassed by just how mean I was. I always insulted people when their projects weren't as good as I thought mine were. I couldn't believe the stuff I wrote. I wish I could go back and apologize to every single one of the people I said mean things to, but it's probably too late for that. After digging around some more, I signed out of my account and thought back to my days of scratching. I still felt bad to see everything I once knew practically gone. But watching my progression on Scratch was like watching myself grow up somehow. It made me think about the flurry of events in my life from the past 2 years. With a sigh, I closed my laptop. I hope I can sign onto my account 5 years from now and relive the days of Scratch. And I bet I'll smile.