Todays while I was walking to gym my friend told me this joke:
A guy who knows no english goes to America. First he walks by an auction. Everyone is shouting "Me Me Me Me Me'
Later he walks by a restaurant with no forks. Everyone is shouting "Forks and Knives Forks and Knives"
After that he walks by someone who had their lollipop stolen. "He stole my lollipop!"
At the candy store everyone is saying "Goody Goody Gumdrops"
Lastly he sees a bunch of kids singing 'I hate you, You hate me, Lets get together and kill Barney. With knife through his back and a bullet through his head. Lets rejoice cuz Barney's dead."
The next day he finds Barney dead on the street. The police man notices him.
Policeman: Who killed him?
Guy: Me Me Me Me Me Me
Policeman: How?
Guy: Forks and knives forks and knives
Policeman: Im taking you to jail!
Guy: Goody Goody Gumdrops!
Policeman: Why are you happy?
Guy: I hate you, You hate me, Lets get together and kill Barney. With knife through his back and a bullet through his head. Lets rejoice cuz Barney's dead.
Note: The original was a bit racist so I changed it a bit.
Now tell me your jokes.

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Me: Why'd the chicken cross the road?
Sister: I dream of a world where chickens can do what they want without there motives being questioned!
Me: ...
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A panda goes into a restraunt and orders bamboo when he is done he shoots the waiter and leaves. Then the manager comes out and says "hey why did you shoot my waiter?" so the panda shows the manager the panda entry in the encyclopedia
and it says: "Eats bamboo, shoots, and leaves".
get it?
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Science jokes again! (I put this one on another forum but it's long gone)
So a neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a drink?"
The bartender looks at him and says, "For you, no charge!"
Last edited by Kileymeister (2011-01-20 14:35:56)
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Lol, I have some chav jokes here:
1) What do you call a chav in a box? A) Init.
2) What do you call a chav in the shower? A) RINSE!
3) What do you call a chav after they had an injection? A) Init blud.
4) What do you call a chav in a locker? A) SAFE!
5) What does a chav say when they die on COD? A) F***.
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tomicool wrote:
Lol, I have some chav jokes here:
1) What do you call a chav in a box? A) Init.
2) What do you call a chav in the shower? A) RINSE!
3) What do you call a chav after they had an injection? A) Init blud.
4) What do you call a chav in a locker? A) SAFE!
5) What does a chav say when they die on COD? A) F***.
What's a chav?
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At an airport, a guy is being scanned by metal detectors. He said to watch for something. He shouldn't be so obvious.
poopo wrote:
A panda goes into a restraunt and orders bamboo when he is done he shoots the waiter and leaves. Then the manager comes out and says "hey why did you shoot my waiter?" so the panda shows the manager the panda entry in the encyclopedia
and it says: "Eats bamboo, shoots, and leaves".
get it?
lol XD
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Chatter wrote:
At an airport, a guy is being scanned by metal detectors. He said to watch for something. He shouldn't be so obvious.
poopo wrote:
A panda goes into a restraunt and orders bamboo when he is done he shoots the waiter and leaves. Then the manager comes out and says "hey why did you shoot my waiter?" so the panda shows the manager the panda entry in the encyclopedia
and it says: "Eats bamboo, shoots, and leaves".
get it?lol XD
XD
That's great.
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Chatter wrote:
At an airport, a guy is being scanned by metal detectors. He said to watch for something. He shouldn't be so obvious.
poopo wrote:
A panda goes into a restraunt and orders bamboo when he is done he shoots the waiter and leaves. Then the manager comes out and says "hey why did you shoot my waiter?" so the panda shows the manager the panda entry in the encyclopedia
and it says: "Eats bamboo, shoots, and leaves".
get it?lol XD
I no get it.
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