I'm not making a perminant return just yet as I'm at a crucial stage of making my novel. Here's just a small section where the main character does not make it in time to save his criminal collegues and can only watch as they are killed in an explosion.
Please rate out of 10 or 5 or whatever, but I need to work extremely hard on my book as its nearly finished.
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Smiling to himself, he wrenched down the gear shift into drive and pulled the handbrake up, feeling the car groan as it rolled a few inches. The road was clear, and sensing the driver would notice soon, his goosed the accelerator and the car rumbled, the whole frame grumbling as the cylinders pumped away. Levarno pulled the slim steering wheel to the right, feeling the grips run through his fingers as the car roared onto the road.
The driver slid along the side of the car before spinning around and yelling, slamming his hands onto the soft top, his fingers yearning to grasp onto the slipping material. Then Levarno was clear ahead and stamped down, feeling the wheels spin, thick wisps of smoke snaking into the air like tendrils. Finally the car gained traction and reared forward, himself being thrown backwards, the leather swallowing him. The driver spun of the back, his hand screeching across the back of the car as he fell backwards, and spinning into the dirt.
Levarno fought to control the car. Now he was on the road there would be Police about, and he needed to be careful. He kept checking his speed was fewer than 40, feeling the car groan and complain as he tried to keep flat around corners. The steering was thick and heavy for such a small car, but the power was enormous. He hadn’t any curbs yet, but when tempted on straight roads he jumped forward like a striking jaguar, without even meaning to. With the lightest touch of his feet, applying the smallest amount of pressure onto the pedals would make thousands of small explosions clatter through the fresh engine as it worked to pile on more speed. Within a few minutes he could see the Lucky Hand casino grow from a small block into the full building as he raced towards it. He spotted the shaded ally and he swore he could make out the men standing on duty.
He’d just have to explain another time if he ran the down. Wrenching the wheel as hard as he could to the left, the car cut across the opposite road and clattered against the curb, the front end lifting precariously high.
And then there was a huge explosion.
Levarno wasn’t sure whether the car had exploded at first, but his mind was changed in the split second he had to glance at the Casino. The walls had buckled out, bricks, dust and debris exploding out towards the street in a rain of fire. Sparks flew and then flame erupted out of every part of the building, snarling like a hungry animal. As the car was buffeted by a huge wave of heat and bricks, he could only think of the people inside. The people he knew, surely perishing in the devil of the explosion.
The car flipped awkwardly, landing on its side, Levarno swore and hoped his seatbelt would hold himself from being crushed as the car was hit again. Something groaned and then a huge blast tore through the air, and then something huge suddenly rocked Levarno’s conscience. Something huge must have sheared of the building and landed onto the car. It finally landed upside down and Levarno struggled to breathe as his seatbelt cut into his torso and he was hung at an awkward angle. Everything was black, and some sharp, small pieces of debris almost trickled down his neck like water. He struggled with his seatbelt clip as his head rushed, pounding as blood thumped against his skull. He was losing consciousness as he was starved of oxygen. He spat an ugly word and then cursed in his mind as he used his remaining air.
His fingers brushed the metallic steel of the razor. It was o the tarmac; somehow it must have fallen free from him. He tried to get a grip on it but his vision clouded. He tried to give his throat some leeway so he could breath, but the tangled seatbelt wouldn’t budge.
He was out cold.
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very good!
Oh, and is there a place where I can read your other book? Republic one?
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I'm going to get this when it comes out
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