Scratch

Best adventure:
I visited my relatives over the summer. While the older generation was busy chitchatting, my cousins and I ran through the restaurant halls pretending to shoot people...
Best thing that has happened to me:
I met several really awesome people.    Including popsy464 and a certain person who will remain unnamed...

I had my first cup of coffee while reading The Catcher in the Rye while sitting in a window ten stories up while in New York for the second time ever
Yeah 2010 was very uneventful for me
Also my mom and my sister and I got lost in Manhattan that very same day
And I don't understand how you get lost in that place seeing that its set up like a grid with streets and avenues and whatnot but it was fun because we had to walk like forty blocks and my sister and I were just jabbering to each other about how ignorant our mother is and how numb our hands were and whatnot
But I didn't need gloves
I had a hat

steppenwulf wrote:

GlitchSprite wrote:

I killed someone

In Mexico, of course

REPORT

Dude really

IT WAS A JOKE SERIOUSLY GUYS IT'S ALL COOL WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GAS CAN

Well, one day while walking through the supermarket, I noticed that the date on some of the food was from 1951. This was too much for me to bear, simply too much, so I left the supermarket and started a fruit stand. I had many customers, but five in particular stood out to me.
    One of these five, a fellow named Balkin, walked up to the fruit stand, did a curt sort of bow, and asked me about the oranges. I told him exactly what went into them- 5% citrus, 4% gastric juices, and 91% evil. To this, he laughed. In fact, he laughed the whole night long. I had no other customers during that time he laughed, I assumed that he frightened them off. Finally, he began to stop laughing and regain his breath. He asked for a cup of water, and I said "Go drink from the hog's trough!" Balkin walked across the street, bent down, and began to drink from the hog's trough! "NO, NO! I MEANT THAT THEORETICALLY!" said I, but alas, it was too late, for he was beginning to turn into a hog.
    Now I had two mouths to feed, my own, and Balkin, the pig's. "Tsk, tsk, this simply won't do for Mr. Cal. He will make me pay taxes on this pig! Why, he'll say 'Where'd ya get that pig, young'un? Ya know yer gonna have to pay taxes on this here pig, here!' I just have to get rid of this pig!" I said to myself. So I said to Balkin, the hog "Mr. Hog, you know that across that hill, there is food as far as the eye can see? FOOD!" The pig's eyes grew wide, and in a moment, the hog was gone, up and over the hill. I haven't seen the hog since, but I hope he had a heart attack, for he eats much too much for his own good! Anyway, that's what happened to the first customer that stood out to me.
    The second wasn't so lucky. I think he said his name was Jack...or something like that. So he got out of his car, walked up to me, and asked how the oranges grew this time of year. I told him "How should I know?!? I don't grow the oranges, only sell them! You ought to be ashamed of yourself for even assuming that I'd go so low as to pick oranges AND sell them!" This was too much, even for Jack, he ran as fast as he could over the hill, and that's the last I saw of him. I'm lucky not all of my customers are so rude. What's that? Who's the third customer that stood out to me? That'd have to be good ol' Joey.
    Joey's was a valuable customer- he came by every morning in one a' those antique helicopters. A rope would drop from the 'copter, and him and two of his body guards would come down, fully armed, and ask if they could have some strawberries. Yep, Joey's my most dedicated customer. One time, one of Joey's bodyguards asked about the oranges, you'd think that he'd of learned from those other two fellows, but nope, he HAD to ask about the oranges. So, I told him, "The oranges are fine, why do you ask?" And then he said something quite similar to "Well, I heard from Henry that if you ask about the oranges AND you have visited exactly 50,352 days in a row, then you'll get a free fruit basket!"
    Well, he was a crazy one, so I said to him "Yes, sir, you just so happen to be right! The fruit basket is JUST over that hill! In fact, I've got a whole MOUNTAIN of fruit baskets o'er that hill, and you can have as many as your lil' heart desires!" I think he left for the hill at "sir". Anyway, that's the last Joey- or I for that matter- ever saw of the man. I wonder if there really were fruit baskets over there. Joey left, and that was the, where am I, third customer that really stood out to me.
    The fourth one was a slimy creature. He tried to scam me out of an orange saying he was a "health inspector" or something...Of course, I saw right through his disguise, so I said "Mr. Health Inspector, sir, there's a whole orchard of oranges back behind that hill there."
    "The one next to that hog's trough?"
    "Quite yes!"
    "Well, I'll be sure to take a visit there after inspecting your fruit stand, now may I please have an orange?"
    "Why sure," I answered, giving him a specially prepared orange. Upon cutting the orange open, one will find that there is a small note in the center. What did the note say? Well let's just say he ran over the hill after reading it, and I never saw him again. The fifth customer that stood out to me followed suit with the fake health-inspector- he told me that he was a "police officer looking for a missing health-inspector, who was last seen at this fruit stand." Of course, he was obviously fake too.
    "No one's come by that fits that description."
    "None? Oh well, I heard there was a lead at a department store in South Africa, so I'd better get going, but before I leave, might I have an orange?"
    "You may, in fact, but why don't you pick it from my own personal orchard right beyond that hill?"
    "Own personal orchard? Why that sounds mighty-fine, thank you young lad'un." he said, already beginning to run towards the hill.
    "DON'T FORGET THE PIZZA!" I called after him, but it was too late [once more], he was gone. Ya' know? I think I might go see what's beyond that hill one day...

Scratch!!!!!!!!!