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#1 2010-11-28 14:40:45

werdna123
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-06-12
Posts: 1000+

A story I'm writing.

The Ancient Lands Chronicles
Book 1: The Stolen Boy


-Chapterter 1-
The silver ring

Jack sat, flicking through channels as he munched on a sandwich. He wasn't really registering what was on the TV, only doing it for something to do. Finally, brushing his long brown hair out of his eyes he turned off the TV, deserted his sandwich, and left the room. He was bored. He had been bored for the last 3 weeks of the holiday, and was desperate for something to do. He had previously decided that he was going to go out somewhere but had had no luck in deciding where.
    He wandered out the house, shutting the door quietly behind him. Jack looked around the empty street, hoping for something to happen or for him having a sudden idea of what to do. Nothing happened. He sighed and walked along the streets towards the small wood. There had been many rumours of creatures and monsters in the woods, but all but a few had died down a few weeks later. He walked right up to it and decided he would look around. It was a dark, gloomy wood, with all the trees close together. It was hard to get through and by the time he had got 20 yards his T-shirt and jeans had small scratches all over them.
    He looked along, though it was hard to see anything. He kept walking until he needed to stop for a rest. He walked over to a nearby tree stump and sat down. He panted for a while before noticing a bright object glinting on the ground. He leant down and picked the object up. At first he couldn't tell what the object was but after closer examination he realised it was a ring. He wondered why somebody would come in here until noticing a small bump on the side of the ring.
    He felt it with his fingers. Jack pushed it in and suddenly a bright light shone over the wood. Jack dropped the ring and covered his eyes with his arm and shouted out in surprise. Finally, getting used to the light he looked over his arm. He reached out for the ring but as soon as he touched it he screamed in pain. It had burned like nothing had ever burned before. He looked at his hand and saw a symbol. It was a curved cross with a circle in each of the sections. He stared at his hand for nearly ten minutes before remembering he should've be back at his house a few minutes ago. He ran back to his has, tripping on a stray branch here and there until he finally got back to his street.
    He opened the door and sprinted up to his room. He went in and slammed the door behind him before jumping on his bed to lie down. He stared up at the ceiling until it was nearly eleven o'clock. He glanced around at his room; it was a small room with a bed, desk, wardrobe, and three bookcases neatly placed beside each other. Besides the bookcases, the room was a complete mess: there was books, magazines, toys, CDs, crisp packets, and bags strayed across the floor. On his desk was more books, unfinished homework, and a CD player which he seldom used. He looked at the ring again which he had taken with him after the light had died down. He looked at it curiously until well after midnight. He heard voices from it, lots of them, all screaming. A tear trickled down his cheek as he realised who the owners of the voices where. They where all the people he knew, loved, and cared about…

-Chapter 2-
Back to school

Jack woke up the next morning perfectly happy. Well, that was until he remembered two things. The first being that school started that day, and the second being that he had a strange symbol engraved into his hand. He picked up the ring and examined it, then deciding to pocket it.
'JACK!', His mother called. 'IT'S TIME TO GET READY FOR SCHOOL!' Jack groaned and heaved himself up. Twenty minutes later he was no more ready than he had been before.
'Come on Jack', His mum said for what seems to him the millionth time, 'You're going to be late for the first day of S2!' after another ten minutes Jack was waving his mum goodbye and stepping into the warm breeze of summer. He walked up the street for a while until he met his friend, James.
'Hey James' Jack called. James was tall, blonde, and rather untidy. They had met near the beginning of S1 when James had moved to Britain from America.
'Hi Jack, what's up?' He replied.
'I was out at- I mean, not much' Jack said hastily.
     School seemed, to Jack, to take much longer than normal. He looked up at the clock in maths expecting to see half past three (home time) but instead seeing one o'clock. Finally the school bell rang, and he sprinted outside.
'Hey! What's the rush?' John, the boy-genius of the class shouted. Jack ignored him and headed towards the wood…
    He ran and ran until he could run no more. He sat down on the ground and slipped the ring out his pocket. He had stolen a microscope from the biology classroom and started examining the ring. There was a mark on the ring exactly the same as the symbol on his hand. He threw the microscope to the side, and pushed the button. His hand burned but he did resisted, for he knew some thing would happen. Finally when the pain defeated him he dropped the ring and the pain instantly stopped. He looked at his hand and saw that there was now writing. 'Σαν πτώσεις φθινοπώρου πρέπει να βρείτε το δίδυμό μου'. Jack recognised the writing as Greek but had no idea what it said. He made a mental note to ask John what the writing said the next day.
    He started slowly heading back to his house, trying to think of an excuse for his lateness. A twig snapped behind him, and he immediately turned on the spot to see what had caused the noise. There was nothing there.
'Probably a squirrel or something' He said to himself, not actually believing it, just trying to put his mind at rest. He ran the rest of the way back and knocked on the door.
'Where have you been?' His mum asked, shocked.
'Oh, me, I was… in detention…' He said hurriedly.
'Why? What for?' She said, getting more shocked by the minute.
'I, I forgot.' He said before running up to his room. Once in his room he stuffed his hand in his pocket and searched for the ring. It was gone. He searched all the other pockets at least twice before deciding he had left it in the woods. He decided that if he was to show John the symbols he would have to write them down somewhere as he couldn't just show him the ones on his hand.
   
-Chapter 3-
The next day

The next day, as Jamie walked up the road to school, Jack was running. He was going to ask John what the symbols meant.
'Hey John!' Jack called, 'Do you know what-'.
'Can't talk now, I need to do something'.
'It'll only take a second', Jack lied.
'Sorry, I'm really busy, maybe at lunch'.
Jack swore and kept going. Jack spent nearly all of school before lunch staring at his hand trying to understand it. Finally, when the lunch bell went, Jack got up and ran downstairs. He met John on the way down.
'John!' Jack said excitedly, 'Do you now what this says?' He held out the small piece of paper with the writing on.
'Hmm', said John examining the writing, 'something about seeking… and that's falling. Uh, that's Autumn. And… shall I take this home and look at it?'
Yeah, thanks.' Jack replied.
    As school ended Jack, again, ran towards the wood. But his time James caught him before he had a chance to go anywhere.
'Where are you going?' Jamie asked.
'Just- just going for a walk in the wood.' Jack said.
'Can I come?'
Yeah, I mean no, no you can't.'
'OK, see you' Jamie called, slightly annoyed as Jack walked off. He was going to look into the light again. Stare right at it. He ran into the heart of the forest exactly where he'd lost the ring. He searched the forest floor. There it was! His stomach tingled with excitement. He picked it up and pushed the button for the third time. Again the wood was covered in immense light, and the ring spoke.
'Do what you must do, find the other to save the rest, but they will follow not far behind, so do it three behind…' Jack stared at it curiously. What did it mean find the other to save the rest? But he couldn't ponder the thought as he had to get home. He ran, jumping over branches until he was at the door. He hoped that John would have worked out the words by tomorrow, so he might understand what the sentence that the ring had said meant.
    Once he was in, he went up to his room, as usual, slipped off his bag, and took out his mobile phone. He dialled Johns phone number and waited.
'Hello?' It was John's voice.
'Hey, John, You know that writing I gave you, well, can you say it?'
'Sure' He said, 'As autumn falls, need find my twin. Why did-'  But Jack had already turned his phone off.
'As autumn falls, need find my twin. As autumn falls, need find my twin. As autumn falls, need find my twin.' He repeated it until he could remember it perfectly. But what does it mean? Well, it probably means on the 30th of November someone needs to find… maybe the ring owners twin? He pondered the thought for a while before turning his thoughts towards who needed to find this person. Maybe… Just maybe he had been destined to find that ring. Maybe… he needed to find something or someone. He took the ring out of his pocket and again pressed the button. He resisted the pain. It felt like putting your hand in a fire, but in a way… relaxing. Finally, when he could stand it no more, he dropped the ring, and looked at his hand.Nothing had changed. There was still the symbol, and the writing. Just the symbol and the writing.

-Chapter 4-
My decision is final.

He woke the next day his head buzzing with ideas and thoughts. He had remembered what the ring had said: 'Do what you must do, find the other to save the rest, but they will follow not far behind, so do it three behind…'  He had decided that 'Do what you must do' must mean to look for somebody. 'Find the other and save the rest' What could that mean? Perhaps people would be saved if this person was found. 'But they will follow not far behind'. Who will follow? Jack thought about this for a while until remembering he needed to get ready for school.
    Half an hour later Jack was closing the door behind him as he walked into the warm air. He looked about to see James standing in front of their new Honda Jazz.
'Prepare for it…' Said James in a high mystical voice, 'prepare for death, pain, and horror… prepare… for the end…'  He was standing still, his lips barely moving. He was nothing like the usual cool, excitable James who would do anything for a bit of fun. He seemed… empty….

What do you think?  tongue

Last edited by werdna123 (2010-11-29 09:19:26)

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#2 2010-11-28 14:44:09

12three
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Registered: 2008-06-12
Posts: 1000+

Re: A story I'm writing.

That's great! Very good job making it seem realistic.  smile

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#3 2010-11-28 14:44:31

werdna123
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Registered: 2010-06-12
Posts: 1000+

Re: A story I'm writing.

12three wrote:

That's great! Very good job making it seem realistic.  smile

Thanks!  big_smile

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#4 2010-11-28 14:47:39

melikecheese
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Registered: 2010-06-09
Posts: 500+

Re: A story I'm writing.

This is awesome!!!!!!!!!!


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I am Dave! Yognaught.

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#5 2010-11-28 14:53:13

werdna123
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Registered: 2010-06-12
Posts: 1000+

Re: A story I'm writing.

melikecheese wrote:

This is awesome!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the support Melikecheese! smile

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#6 2010-11-28 15:05:47

The_Dancing_Donut
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Registered: 2010-08-03
Posts: 1000+

Re: A story I'm writing.

Well done, this is awesmoe! Make more!! At first I was like, ok, why is Justin Bieber involved (long brown hair, J-ustin, J-ack...) then I saw past that and enjoyed it a load!  big_smile


Offending strangers since 2010.

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#7 2010-11-28 15:07:56

werdna123
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-06-12
Posts: 1000+

Re: A story I'm writing.

The_Dancing_Donut wrote:

Well done, this is awesmoe! Make more!! At first I was like, ok, why is Justin Bieber involved (long brown hair, J-ustin, J-ack...) then I saw past that and enjoyed it a load!  big_smile

Thanks!  big_smile  And maybe I should change it to 'short black hair' and 'Bob'. XD

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#8 2010-11-28 15:22:50

The_Dancing_Donut
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Registered: 2010-08-03
Posts: 1000+

Re: A story I'm writing.

werdna123 wrote:

The_Dancing_Donut wrote:

Well done, this is awesmoe! Make more!! At first I was like, ok, why is Justin Bieber involved (long brown hair, J-ustin, J-ack...) then I saw past that and enjoyed it a load!  big_smile

Thanks!  big_smile  And maybe I should change it to 'short black hair' and 'Bob'. XD

Lol! Hm...

Bob sat anxiously in the armchair, flicking absent-mindedly through the TV channels, isolated from the world. Every so often, he would idly lift his limp hand, and swat his inky black fringe out of his eyeline - occasionally, he would just leave it there, obstructing his blurry vision. He felt suddenly tired, drowsy...drowsy...


Offending strangers since 2010.

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#9 2010-11-28 15:23:42

werdna123
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-06-12
Posts: 1000+

Re: A story I'm writing.

The_Dancing_Donut wrote:

werdna123 wrote:

The_Dancing_Donut wrote:

Well done, this is awesmoe! Make more!! At first I was like, ok, why is Justin Bieber involved (long brown hair, J-ustin, J-ack...) then I saw past that and enjoyed it a load!  big_smile

Thanks!  big_smile  And maybe I should change it to 'short black hair' and 'Bob'. XD

Lol! Hm...

Bob sat anxiously in the armchair, flicking absent-mindedly through the TV channels, isolated from the world. Every so often, he would idly lift his limp hand, and swat his inky black fringe out of his eyeline - occasionally, he would just leave it there, obstructing his blurry vision. He felt suddenly tired, drowsy...drowsy...

Ten times better than mine!  big_smile

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#10 2010-11-28 15:34:27

The_Dancing_Donut
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Registered: 2010-08-03
Posts: 1000+

Re: A story I'm writing.

werdna123 wrote:

The_Dancing_Donut wrote:

werdna123 wrote:


Thanks!  big_smile  And maybe I should change it to 'short black hair' and 'Bob'. XD

Lol! Hm...

Bob sat anxiously in the armchair, flicking absent-mindedly through the TV channels, isolated from the world. Every so often, he would idly lift his limp hand, and swat his inky black fringe out of his eyeline - occasionally, he would just leave it there, obstructing his blurry vision. He felt suddenly tired, drowsy...drowsy...

Ten times better than mine!  big_smile

What?! You can't be serious!  smile

Werdna sat reading this post lazily at his computer desk. He scanned the text quickly, picking out random words and trying to decipher the message. Hm, he thought, it has something to do with my story, it must be. Then, suddenly, unexplicably, the letters rearranged themselves before his bleary eyes! The post now held a message so sinister, so secretive, he suddenly felt nervous, anxious, as if he was being watched...
Blink.
The message is gone. It's back as it was before. Normal.
"That was weird. It must be my tired eyes," he muttered.
Mustering all his strength, he lifted his heavy-feeling arm, and clicked refresh. Suddenly, a new topic appeared, containing the same message.

The message: I'm watching you, Mr. Awesome. I'm coming...


Offending strangers since 2010.

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#11 2010-11-28 15:53:57

werdna123
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-06-12
Posts: 1000+

Re: A story I'm writing.

The_Dancing_Donut wrote:

werdna123 wrote:

The_Dancing_Donut wrote:

Lol! Hm...

Bob sat anxiously in the armchair, flicking absent-mindedly through the TV channels, isolated from the world. Every so often, he would idly lift his limp hand, and swat his inky black fringe out of his eyeline - occasionally, he would just leave it there, obstructing his blurry vision. He felt suddenly tired, drowsy...drowsy...

Ten times better than mine!  big_smile

What?! You can't be serious!  smile

Werdna sat reading this post lazily at his computer desk. He scanned the text quickly, picking out random words and trying to decipher the message. Hm, he thought, it has something to do with my story, it must be. Then, suddenly, unexplicably, the letters rearranged themselves before his bleary eyes! The post now held a message so sinister, so secretive, he suddenly felt nervous, anxious, as if he was being watched...
Blink.
The message is gone. It's back as it was before. Normal.
"That was weird. It must be my tired eyes," he muttered.
Mustering all his strength, he lifted his heavy-feeling arm, and clicked refresh. Suddenly, a new topic appeared, containing the same message.

The message: I'm watching you, Mr. Awesome. I'm coming...

... Three dots. That's all I can say. Three dots. ...(oh, and I added a small bit to the story. I have absolutely no idea where it's going. I guess I'll just make it up as I go along.)

Last edited by werdna123 (2010-11-28 15:55:36)

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#12 2010-11-28 16:02:30

recycle49
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Registered: 2009-12-21
Posts: 1000+

Re: A story I'm writing.

Lol my hair gets in my eyes all the time, great start!


"Every challenge must be met, every battle must be won, and every story will end." -Me
Recycle49 December 09 - November 11 Goodbye

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#13 2010-11-28 16:12:02

werdna123
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Registered: 2010-06-12
Posts: 1000+

Re: A story I'm writing.

recycle49 wrote:

Lol my hair gets in my eyes all the time, great start!

Thanks!

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#14 2010-11-28 16:18:21

12three
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Registered: 2008-06-12
Posts: 1000+

Re: A story I'm writing.

recycle49 wrote:

Lol my hair gets in my eyes all the time, great start!

My hair used to get in my eyes all the time, but then I got it cut.  sad
According to Getty, I look like an eight year old when I have short hair.

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#15 2010-11-28 23:16:08

helltank
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Registered: 2010-05-21
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Re: A story I'm writing.

Cool story bro.

Actually, the story wasn't bad, wasn't bad at all.


Error:Signature could not load. Please wait for an indefinite amount of time, until you realize you're gullible and go off to look for another potentially interesting signature to stare at.

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#16 2010-11-29 05:15:04

werdna123
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Registered: 2010-06-12
Posts: 1000+

Re: A story I'm writing.

helltank wrote:

Cool story bro.

Actually, the story wasn't bad, wasn't bad at all.

Thanks, I've given it a name (and added some): The Stolen Boy.

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#17 2010-11-29 07:10:57

Blade-Edge
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Registered: 2009-06-13
Posts: 1000+

Re: A story I'm writing.

helltank wrote:

Cool story bro.

Actually, the story wasn't bad, wasn't bad at all.

It hasn't been 6 weeks yet why are you back so early


http://img29.imageshack.us/img29/5145/scratchycat.gif CLASSY

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#18 2010-11-29 14:27:44

werdna123
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Registered: 2010-06-12
Posts: 1000+

Re: A story I'm writing.

Blade-Edge wrote:

helltank wrote:

Cool story bro.

Actually, the story wasn't bad, wasn't bad at all.

It hasn't been 6 weeks yet why are you back so early

Where had he gone?

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#19 2010-11-29 15:50:54

Tigerkidcub
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Registered: 2009-09-13
Posts: 100+

Re: A story I'm writing.

Awesome!!!!   big_smile    big_smile

Is there more to it? I bet the sequel will be great, too!  wink


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YEA CUZ IMMA BE SPRAYING MY FACE WITH HAIRSPRAY YO.

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#20 2010-11-29 15:56:22

GlitchSprite
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Registered: 2010-06-08
Posts: 1000+

Re: A story I'm writing.

werdna123 wrote:

Blade-Edge wrote:

helltank wrote:

Cool story bro.

Actually, the story wasn't bad, wasn't bad at all.

It hasn't been 6 weeks yet why are you back so early

Where had he gone?

To hell to speak with his Commanding Officer JK

Last edited by GlitchSprite (2010-11-29 15:56:43)


http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/02915.gif

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#21 2010-12-01 12:38:10

werdna123
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Registered: 2010-06-12
Posts: 1000+

Re: A story I'm writing.

Dah ultimate pwnage bump: Bumpity bumpity BUMP! XD

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#22 2010-12-01 12:39:12

werdna123
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-06-12
Posts: 1000+

Re: A story I'm writing.

GlitchSprite wrote:

werdna123 wrote:

Blade-Edge wrote:

It hasn't been 6 weeks yet why are you back so early

Where had he gone?

To hell to speak with his Commanding Officer JK

Makes sense.  hmm

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#23 2010-12-01 12:42:11

FlexiStudio
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Registered: 2010-02-28
Posts: 1000+

Re: A story I'm writing.

I like this story; espicialy the way you arrange your sentances with strong volcabulary.  smile  One of my books is published and printing; I'm still designing the one piece cover. I've been writing another book that might get published, but its not a creative piece of writing. Its about Call of Duty  lol


Hey I'm back!-
FlexiStudio

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#24 2010-12-01 12:48:27

The_Dancing_Donut
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Registered: 2010-08-03
Posts: 1000+

Re: A story I'm writing.

FlexiStudio wrote:

I like this story; espicialy the way you arrange your sentances with strong volcabulary.  smile  One of my books is published and printing; I'm still designing the one piece cover. I've been writing another book that might get published, but its not a creative piece of writing. Its about Call of Duty  lol

Have fun living my dream *sniff*  lol
Can we see the cover sometime?  big_smile


Offending strangers since 2010.

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#25 2010-12-01 12:49:54

FlexiStudio
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Registered: 2010-02-28
Posts: 1000+

Re: A story I'm writing.

The_Dancing_Donut wrote:

FlexiStudio wrote:

I like this story; espicialy the way you arrange your sentances with strong volcabulary.  smile  One of my books is published and printing; I'm still designing the one piece cover. I've been writing another book that might get published, but its not a creative piece of writing. Its about Call of Duty  lol

Have fun living my dream *sniff*  lol
Can we see the cover sometime?  big_smile

For which one?


Hey I'm back!-
FlexiStudio

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