Scratch

I know, I post stupid things all the time. I just like posting in the forums.

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Today's menu:
Knuckle sandwitch (SP)
Fruit punch (By puppydot71)
Banana cherry
Red oatmeal
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How did the king's servents call the king stupid?
A. Your moronjesty
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Knock knock?
Who's there?
I am.
Who?
Me.
I'm asking what is your name???
My name is Me.
Oh.
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When is the word stealing not a word?
A. When you use the word steel as rock. (Steeling)
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Once upon a time a little boy was about to answer 1 + 1. But a meteor fell out of the sky and crushed the plus in a minus and he by mistake said 0, the end.
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Bubny
    I
Ranbit.
Exchange the letters.
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She jumped off the board and did a few jacknives.
But wouldn't fall, because she was on the pool surface.
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@_@ +_+ >_< <_> L_L ^_^
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the below is by soupoftomato


A kid asked to go to the bathroom. The teacher told him to say the alphabet.

The kid says, ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ

The teacher says "Very good, but you forgot the P"

The kid says, "It's in my pants."

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The below is by Aidan


A guy walks into a bar...

Highlight for punch line: "Ouch," he says.
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The below by kimmy123.


A boy had to learn the first four letters of the alphabet. He asked his big sister who said,"oh shut up." he wrote that down. he asked his big brother who said,"go away."
he wrote that down. he asked his mom who replied"not now sweetie." he wrote that down. he asked his little brother who was playing a batman video game who said"BATMAN!" the next day at school, the teacher asked him what the first letter was. the boy said"oh shut up" the teacher said that wasn't a very nice thing to say. the boy replied,"go away" the boy was sent to the principals office where he had to explain why he did that. the boy said,"not now sweetie" the principal replied "who do you think i am?!?!" the boy said,"BATMAN!!!!"
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Lol means laugh out loud. Rofl means roll on floor laughing. Rocl means roll on celing laughing. Lshmtw means Laugh so hard my tail wags.
Lshtbaf means Laugh so hard they blow a fuse.
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All this is by djm111.

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.
I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.
I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.
I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.
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I know how many people like tomato soup: This number changes quite often!

Actually, the joke is: Peter pickle picked a pickle and a pepper and made pickle pepper stew, and left it on the counter. Then peter picked a batch of tomato's and put them in the stew. Then he ate it, and said, this tastes weird. I'll have to put this in the fridge when I get one free. Zorket: no need to worry. I'm very poor right now. Just take the rest of my money:


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The below is by DaGamez.

Q. How come every time I hear the word penguin I think of Club Penguin?
A. Because I got clubbed by a penguin
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Plankton: *Unplugs spongebob's eyes* Spongebob: Hey squidward we blew a fuse. Squidward: I'm gonna blow a fuse if you don't get that order ready.
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What do you do when your clothes are on fire?
A. Stop, drop, and Rofl (roll on floor laughing)
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I've remixed kimmy's joke:

This guy wanted to say 4 polite phrases at school. He asked his sister who said, I hate you, he wrote that down. He asked his brother who said, I don't care, He wrote that down. He asked his mom who said, I'll talk later, he wrote that down. He asked his little sister playing superman that shouted, spider man?! He wrote that down. The next day at school, the class gathered on the carpet to hear his phrases. He said, I hate you. The teacher said that wasn't very polite. He said, I don't care. He was sent to the office. The principal said, Why did you do that? The boy said, I'll talk later. The principal said, WHO DO THINK YOU ARE? The boy said, Spider man?!
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kimmy remixed it again:

A girl had to learn the last 4 letters of the alphabet. She asked his big sister who said,"Get out of my room!" She wrote that down. She asked his big brother who said,"Oh freaking shut up."
She wrote that down. she asked his mom who replied "I'll tell you later." she wrote that down. She asked her little brother who was playing Pro Wrestling who said "Starman!" the next day at school, the teacher asked her what the first last was. the boy said "Get out of my room!" the teacher said that wasn't a very nice thing to say. the girl replied,"Oh freaking shut up." the girl was sent to the principals office where she had to explain why she did that. the girl said,"I'll tell you later." the principal replied "who do you think i am?!?!" the girl said,"Starman!"
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The below is by Kileymeister:

So a neutron walks into a bar, and asks the barman, "How much for a drink?"
The barman looks at him and goes, "For you, no charge!"
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The below is by Telemachus:

Two Atoms walk into a bar. One says, "Oh no! I've lost an electron!" The other says, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm positive!"
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The below is by BEXtraordinary:

A midget psychic who can talk to the dead breaks out of prison.

Can you guess who he is?

No?

He's a small medium at large.
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Last edited by zorket (2010-11-13 13:03:39)