I wrote it when I was 7, and am still working on it, so get ready for a huge wall of text!
Here it is:
Information
Penguin Island is an island said to be off the shore of Antarctica. Explorer is a computer guy, Fred is Explorer’s adventurous buddy, Rosieburg is a penguin times reporter, Goosenburg52, (A.K.A James), Rosieburg’s brother, and widely known detective, and puzzle master. He usually likes sweet teas, and has gone to many places, including London, and France.
CHAPTER 1 PART 1
THE STONE
One day Fred and Explorer heard about a golden penguin statue. Later they found a hole in the ground after the underwater party. They found a map beside it; they saw it went through the ground and then they realized it led to the golden penguin. Then the ground rumbled, Herbert's machine went up through the ground. "You can never stop me from destroying Penguin Island if I have the golden penguin statue!" Herbert said to them. "Not if we get it first!" They went through the ground, Fred dived into the water and Explorer crawled through Herbert's tunnels while carrying the map, then Fred found a door that stopped the water, he went through and saw Explorer." Hey, do you have your Snowtendo DS, Explorer?" Fred said. "Yeah, why?" Explorer said." Because that item we picked up has a map and a tracking device, we just need to get close enough to put it on his machine." said Fred.
Soon, they found a second tunnel that was faster to where Herbert would be. They found Herbert's machine and put the tracking device on. They hooked it up and saw he was close to the golden penguin. They ran down the bigger tunnel and found an underwater route, and then they split up again. Fred got to the golden penguin first, grabbed it. Then the cave crumbled, and Fred got his phone and told Explorer to go back up. They ran back up and they found people standing around the hole. They asked what they thought the golden penguin looked like, and Fred pulled it out of his inventory. They gasped, and asked if someone was trying to get it from them. They said Herbert was after it. Then the ground crumbled and they saw Herbert had found upgrades to dig his way out of the rocks. Some people fell in but got rescued. Herbert's machine was so big and wet it made the beach split in half. They then saw Herbert's biggest plan. PSA agents, the Army of Penguin Island, and other Penguin Island teams were alerting their teammates about Herbert. They ran to the beach, hopped to the surf shack, and surfed to a safer island, they then made a plan, and then Fred and Explorer got to the island. They said they had a tracking device so they could track his machine on their Snowtendo DS. “Lets see if it works” said an agent. “How did you think he found us in the first place?” said Fred and Explorer together. “ Now do you think we can track him?” said the API leader. “It also lets you hear what he is saying.” Said Fred, “Wait! Is that thing on his long distance?” “No, but ours is, lets listen” said Explorer. (Herbert starts talking) “… Well, Max are you done?” Max nods. “ Well we need to make lava burn the top layers of snow, then it will dry and make the people move away, and then we can plant grass and make a paradise island for us and only us!” Herbert said. “Well we need G to help us.” Said Fred. “Of course we do! Hm... I think G put the same thing that is on Herbert’s machine and the one that we have, I think he put them on the PSA computers.” Said top agent and reporter Goosenburg52. “Well I bet that we can track the PSA using Explorer’s Snowtendo.” Said Fred. “Well I think I could tell the persons on the island that are in hiding that Herbert has a lava launcher to destroy Penguin Island and make a shadow world.” Said Rosieburg, special editor for the penguin times, Goosenburg52’s sister, spy and EWF agent, and is best friends with Angel Spark, Mimo777, Mabel (Yes, she is best friends with Mabel), Aunt Arctic, and Billybob. “Well I think its okay, do you guys?” Said Goosenburg52. Everyone nods.
“Well we need better surfboards to get back to the island.” Said Fred and Explorer at the same time. “We have defeated Herbert three times.” Said Fred. “Plus the one when Link helped him, and also when he made an army of Max and Herbert clones, so that makes 5 times.” Said Explorer. “Look, some Star Puffles are coming our way!” Said XlainX, Goosenburg52 and Rosieburg’s older sister. “Wow, I didn’t think anyone knew about them but me and Explorer.” Said Fred. “Well I had a nasty run in with some Lava Puffles and they helped me escape.” Said XlainX. “Hey they’re landing!” said XlainX, Goosenburg52, Rosieburg, Fred, and Explorer all at the same time. A blast sounds in the distance. “He is attacking!” Said a New Colin Island EWF agent. Native people from New Colin Island start coming out of their houses. “Everyone off of the island! He is trying to get rid of all people he can find! Go to the ice burg on Penguin Island! He wont find out we are hiding there because it doesn’t show the safe route on his map and his tracking device.” “EVERYONE RUN!” Said Fred. They saw a message in Herbert’s handwriting on the ground, they all didn’t pick it up, but Goosenburg52 picked it up and said, “Look over here!” They ran over and Rosieburg read the letter out loud. “Dear silly people, I have taken the whole EWF and BSA to my base, if you think it is still in the forest then you are WRONG! From Herbert-To People” Said Rosieburg. “Well that wasn’t much of an, well, you know, I’m-going-to-burn-down-your-island warning” Said Fred. They all laughed but stopped when they saw the town at Club Penguin Island in flames. “RUN! GET EVERYONE OUT OF THE TOWN AND TO THE MINE! IT IS DRILL PROOF! IT HAS TRACKING DEVICES TO TRACK HERBERT! GET EVERYONE TO THE MINE!” Said a Club Penguin Island firefighter. “We better find Herbert’s base and find Anna B Lane to help us.” Said Explorer. “Wait those star puffles are Mega Lava Puffles!” said Fred, Explorer, and XlainX together. “It’s Herbert’s real plan!” Said Rosieburg with excitement, disappointment, confusion, and she was SCARED because it looked like there were 20 Mega Lava Puffles zooming towards the town. They saw a stone that had words carved into it by the deep hole Fred and Explorer went into. It said “This is where the golden penguin was and where Fred and Explorer saved Penguin Island by taking it from Herbert. This is where Herbert left a decoy to trick Fred and Explorer. Sadly he succeeded and sent 20 Mega Lava Puffles to burn club penguin.” “It's broken!” Said Fred. “He didn’t want them to know his plan to make the island his!” Said Explorer. “The rest is gone.” Was carved into the stone. “Well we need to find the rest!” Said Rosieburg and Goosenburg52 at the same time. They saw something on their laptop that said “pesky people I have already burnt down the forest, beach, and plaza, there is no stopping me now! From Herbert-to pesky people.” Read Fred. “Well we have to find his base and free the EWF. Wait didn’t you say… WE CAN FIND HIS BASE IF HE IS THERE! Said Fred sounding excited. “AND HE CAN FIND US!” Said Explorer sounding scared. “Look I think the Mega Lava Puffles are holding something…. IT’S THE MISSING HALF! The Mega Lava Puffles and Star Puffles were humming a tune. Rosieburg recorded it and found out what they were saying, they were saying, “We have betrayed the evil Herbert and are giving you the missing half. We are sorry for trying to help Herbert, he is a big meanie!” Then Rosieburg tried to speak back. She said, “No need to apologize, we have it almost under control.” Then the API leader read the whole stone aloud, he said; “This is where the golden penguin was and where Fred and Explorer saved Penguin Island by taking it from Herbert. This is where Herbert left a decoy to trick Fred and Explorer. Sadly, he succeeded and sent 20 Mega Lava Puffles to burn Penguin Island, or so they thought. He is going to make a better home for the people on a safer island away from the coming storms and the iceberg that is about to hit Penguin Island. He is going to burn Penguin Island to get the people off the island faster and to get them safer easier. If he told the people they would not believe him and would give him to the Central Penguin Island Jail to lock him up so he tried to make the island less safe for them so they would move away faster, yet has failed at every attempt.” Hey one part is STILL missing!” Exclaimed Fred excitedly. “We aren’t done yet!” Exclaimed Explorer. They traveled far and near to find it but didn’t find it but they did find clues. They saw a storm coming towards all the places with people and they saw that the Iceberg was going faster and closer towards Penguin Island. Then the next time they looked at the stone it said, “Travel to the place where the things you love are” was where it said “The rest is gone.” “Well doesn’t that mean… IT’S BEEN IN OUR IGLOOS ALL ALONG!” Then Fred remembered him digging at the beach and finding a stone and putting it in a box and putting it under his bed. “WE ARE THE ONES WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO STOP THE TROUBLE COMING HERE!” Exclaimed Fred. “Well what was that for?” Said Explorer. “Sorry, I was overexcited!” Apologized Fred. “Its just so… cool.” “Excuse me what do you mean?” Said Rosieburg. “I meant that we have some clue in each of our igloos to help us find out who is trying to get rid of us.” Said Fred. “It’s got to be a penguin this time.” “Well I think Herbert is working with API, the EWF, and the PSA without notifying them.” Said Explorer.
CHAPTER 1 PART 2
HERBERT’S STORY
Herbert contacted Fred with his tracking device and told him all about his real plan. He said that he had buried the stone near where Fred was digging when he wasn’t looking. “Tell me more!” Said Fred. “I knew you were the right one because you defeated me so many times, so I buried it near your canopy and you dug it up. Remember? You were 10.” Herbert said. They laughed. “Yeah I remember. I didn't know you were a soldier then.” They laughed again. “Well lets put the whole stone and see what it says.” Said Fred. “Check the back, it might have a map or something.” Said Herbert.
CHAPTER 2 PART 1
THE QUARTER STONE
They each put the stone together; they each had a part of the stone that had their names carved into it. When put together it said….“This is where the golden penguin was and where Fred and Explorer saved Penguin Island by taking it from Herbert. This is where Herbert left a decoy to trick Fred and Explorer. Sadly he succeeded and sent 20 Mega Lava Puffles to burn Penguin Island. He is going to make a better home for the people on a safer island away from the coming storms and the iceberg that is about to hit Penguin Island. He is going to burn Penguin Island to get the people off the island faster and to get them safer easier. If he told the people they wouldn’t believe him and would give him to the Central Penguin Island Jail to lock him up so he tried to make the island less safe for them so they would move away faster but failed. He found out that G was the real one trying to destroy Penguin Island. Herbert was trying to get the golden penguin to use it to make a safer island for the people. He found out
that G wanted to use his test robots to destroy Penguin Island along with the rest of the people. Herbert just accidentally saw his evil inventions and tried to see what they did. All the times G was missing he made a fake G so he could be in his Shadow World. “How come every time we get a piece we find out that it isn’t the last one?” Burst out Herbert, whom the people didn’t know was there or was watching them. “Herbert, why’d you startle us like that?” Exclaimed everyone in the group. “Sorry, I was just so mad that all the ones we THINK is the final one… well it seems like it goes on forever….” Apologized Herbert. “ How long do you think it is?” Said one small part of the group. “Well don’t we also need enough money to get cars?” Said Explorer.
CHAPTER 2 PART 2
THE TRUTH ABOUT G
One day they went to the agent HQ. G was there and didn’t know the people were there, who were making Auto-Unlock gadgets and Teleport-Device machine to put into their Spy Gadgets. Then a cage fell and G started talking. “So it was you all along!” Exclaimed XlainX. “That’s why I never joined the PSA! I knew someone who wasn’t who they seemed was in the PSA!” Said XlainX. They unlocked the cage and quickly teleported out. XlainX gives fake player cards to everyone. “Use these as disguises.” “We need to cut out the background.” Said Fred. “We need it for later to make a fake tracking device.” Said Rosieburg. “Nice plan! We can trick G!” Said XlainX. This is what it looked like when they were done. “Sign your name here.” Said Fred. They made copies and wrote their names and changed the amount of coins. Then Goosenburg52 drew a tracking device in their hands and Rosieburg drew clothes on hers. They made it look like them. They all changed the backgrounds. “Perfect. He will find one first and get tricked. He’ll never look at Herbert’s card.” Said Explorer. “Why?” said Fred; “Because, he knows better.”
CHAPTER 3 PART ONE
THE GLOX RETURN
“I can’t crack the binary code… What in the world? Unplug the computer! It’s an extermination virus! Said Explorer. Fred unplugged the laptop. “It nearly wiped out how many kilobytes? Rosieburg asked. She was putting notes on a paper. She wanted to put this in the newspaper in the top story section. “The whole thing. That is 700 MB, all gone!” exclaimed Explorer. He had a FreXplorer he made with a hard drive with 700 GB plus his PHD with 700 GB. He had 1400 GB in all, but the was backup files. “Wh- What in the world?” Goosenburg52 exclaimed. There was a shattering sound and some puffle-like creatures came in called Glox. They had nearly destroyed Club Penguin once. “Glox! I should have known! They all exclaimed.
CHAPTER 3 PART TWO
THE RADIO STATION
“Quick! Get to the broadcasting center!” said a Glox and Goosenburg52. “ Come on!”
The team of people got there first. They locked the door. Explorer put his FreXplorer on the table and plugged it into the broadcasting device. “We are now going to evacuate the listed counties- Penguin, Igloo, Igaloo, Icey, and Snowball. Please evacuate or go to the Mine. There is a Safety Patrol, emergency supplies, sleeping bags, tents, games to get money, and shops. We are evacuating at the lighthouse, dock, forest, beach, and central airport.” They installed the Doppler radar and VICBS (Visual International Central-Pacific Broadcasting Software). They uploaded videos to the IBS (International Broadcasting Stream) and showed storm paths and found Glox attack plans and displayed them on their new website WWW.Golden-penguin.com\broadcasting\Glox\War-plans. The island was in havoc. “The golden penguin…GONE?” Fred said. “What happened to it?” said XlainX. “I don’t know!” said Fred panicking. The Glox were coming in now; they had forgot to lock the windows!
CHAPTER 4 PART ONE
THE WAR OF CLUB PENGUIN
The Glox went into the shack and demanded a sacrifice to get the golden penguin back.
“If you want to save your pathetic excuse for an island and get your precious ancient gold penguin statue back, GIVE US A SACRIFICE!” said the Glox. “ NEVER!” yelled ASAPACP93, leader of the ACP. “Well then we will have to destroy your ‘precious tiny village-town’ and everything around it!” said the Glox leader, Gloxenburg25, the Glox version of me. “ I’m going to tell the Glox army to wipe out your WHOLE Island!” said Gloxieburg, Rosieburg’s Glox duplicates. “I’m going to give the sacrifice!” yelled a kid. He stepped forward and pulled out a ring. “ It’s the only thing that can save our town.” He held out a ring that was made of celestial gold and had stars, planets, puffles, stars, galaxies, and universes. It was a ring slightly bigger than a small handheld eraser. “But if we give it away our island… will… die out....” said another kid. “Hey sis, go to your room! This is PRIVATE! P R I V A T E!” the older kid said. Once the people looked closer they realized he wasn’t a Glox, but not a human either. “But… a Heebal tribe member? Those were in fairy tales and legends that Twee told but… they’re real?” said ASAPACP93. The Glox took the ring, melted it, and made the Golden 610x and turned it into a moving golden Glox. It meant Glox 1.0x0. “Mwahaha! HAND OVER A REAL SACRIFICE OR WE WILL DESTROY YOUR VILLAGE!” Said 610x. “NEVER!” I yelled. Isanel, a Heebal tribe member, gave out armor to the fighters.
CHAPTER 4 PART TWO
THE ATTACK
The war was brutal. It was a dark time when we last fought against the Glox. Many people were injured. “Rosieburg, how many have you treated yet?” I asked. “27. We need to retreat most patients, so basically none.” Rosieburg said. “I think this war is one will lose without the EWF.”
Dear Explorer,
Sometimes we never win, but in my case, I never lose.
I just hope you are okay.
Love,
Fred
“I hope he comes back.” Said Goosenburg52. “He really was a nice guy.” Said Explorer. “I miss him being a smartypants.” Said Rosieburg. “He really was a great guy.” Said Herbert. “Wow! A plane! It’s the biggest I’ve ever seen!” said Rosieburg. “That isn’t a plane, that’s a huge meteor! In fact, it may almost be a class D!” Said Herbert.
“It is a class D.” Said Fred, who had been studying for the exams on space. “Then we are doomed in…” Explorer checks his watch and presses the class D meteor button, which shot up a long antenna that seeked the meteor. “48 hours. Exactly two days before the whole planet is destroyed. Great. Just great.” Said Explorer. “The SRSES team!” said Goosenburg52. “I met them in London, researching the air pollutants there.” “Oh…” said everyone except Goosenburg52. They traveled to the SRSES and told them what they saw. “SRSES TEAM PLAN D ASAP NOW!” said the commander.
I know, it stinks. For now. But hey, I am editing and taking requests.
Last edited by Scratchthatguys (2010-10-23 08:11:56)
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Wow... that's long. It takes about 11 minutes for someone to "silently read" this, so I'm not going to do so.
(Just kidding. I didn't read this because I don't have time. I'll come back tomorrow.)
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Err. Is the whole thing about CP.
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TL;DR.
I'm not really interested in Club Penguin ever since Disney ruined it, but just from the sheer length of it, it looks like you put a lot of effort into it!
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No, it's about a different island with the same name as Club Penguin. See, we are all agents, so we have code names. All except for Fred. Rosieburg just goes by Rosieburg, but her name is Rosie.
Also, all the people in my book once played Club Penguin. The USA was being attacked very severely, so they moved to a small uninhabited island they named Club Penguin. Their civilization is becoming steady, and they have been making clothes with warm packs sewed in. They are still adjusting to life in the Arctic, but everything is fine.
Oh, and Herbert is a spy for ACP (Army Of Club Penguin), and was forgotten until one day he returned, but the ACP team and the civilians thought he was a traitor.
@ Robo:
Is it good?
Last edited by Scratchthatguys (2010-10-17 19:25:36)
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Very interesting. I only got through half of it, I hope to finish it tomorrow ^^
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Scratchthatguys wrote:
Robo, is it good?
Yeah, I enjoyed it ^^ The idea, and especially the dialogue, have to be my favorite parts.
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Reminds me, I need to upload my story once I get into writing more of it.~

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I'm sure it would be very interesting if I read it.
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XD thanks! I started to write books when I was in 1st grade, and I skipped a grade!
I get the dialogue from my creativity and my life. I try to make it as good as possible!
So, any ideas?
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I think it will be better if you describe the people in the story in the chapters itself, and not as some information.
Also, you need to divide the chapters into paragraphs and slow down the storyline. Usually, adding a few decriptions along with the main line is better as it both connects with the reader and gives him time to grasp the idea.
I did not try to read it but try making the stroy as realistic as possible. If possible, use 1st and 2nd person language and include Dialogues. It all makes the stroy more interesting.
If you need any help, contact me by commenting on my projects.
Hope I helped
P.S. If you really need help in the plot, please make a brief description of whatever you have written in this story.It is quite painful to read all this
Last edited by Subh (2010-10-19 16:22:07)
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Chapter 1 wrote: Rosieburg, special editor for the penguin times, Goosenburg52’s sister, spy and EWF agent, and is best friends with Angel Spark, Mimo777, Mabel (Yes, she is best friends with Mabel), Aunt Arctic, and Billybob. Top agent and reporter Goosenburg52.
Last edited by Scratchthatguys (2010-10-20 07:27:23)
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Ker-Bump-Bumpity-bumpit-bum-pity-bump-ity!
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