Scratch

Sunrise-Moon · 2010-09-07 22:40:43

Here's my story:

As I was wandering, I noticed a small cave etched in the bottom of a cliff, and entered. I followed a short pathway that led to a sudden stop at another huge cliff inside the cave. There, far below me, was a beautiful, rushing underground stream. I had decided I’d sit down and watch the stream flow by for a few moments, when suddenly, I noticed a flash of pink fly in front of me down the cliff. I excitedly stuck my head out over the cliff, and there, lying on the ground of the cave, was a child-sized pink hippo. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw another flash of pink, and I quickly brought myself back in so as not to be hit. Soon, hundreds of small, pink hippos were falling down before my very eyes. After watching a few hippos fall, I decided the creatures were most likely not harmful, and it’d be better to help them just sit around watching them fall. I desperately searched my surroundings for something to aid me in catching a hippo, and spotted one of the strange weave-plants I had seen earlier. I stuck the weave-plant out over the cliff like a net, and, within seconds, I had caught a hippo! I quickly retracted my weave-plant net, dumped the hippo behind me, and “cast” my net again. After I had rescued two more hippos, no more fell.

What do you think of it? It starts abruptly and references things that haven't happened yet because this is all I've written- I haven't written the beginning yet. Can I improve my grammar? Spelling? The way I describe things? The lack of description? I'm all ears for suggestions big_smile

Also:

That is all.

Usatt1337 · 2010-09-07 22:42:55

rufflebee · 2010-09-07 22:44:36

Cool hippo story, bro.
I don't like the lack of dialogue, though.

Ace-of-Spades · 2010-09-07 23:03:12

Now I should post my hippo story as well.

Sunrise-Moon · 2010-09-08 02:20:15

rufflebee wrote:
Cool hippo story, bro.
I don't like the lack of dialogue, though.

There's no one to talk to xD.

rufflebee · 2010-09-08 05:43:36

Ace-of-Spades wrote:
Now I should post my hippo story as well.

Yes, you should.

Sunrise-Moon wrote:
rufflebee wrote:
Cool hippo story, bro.
I don't like the lack of dialogue, though.
There's no one to talk to xD.

Then make someone tongue

Last edited by rufflebee (2010-09-08 05:44:01)

Ace-Of-Hearts · 2010-09-09 16:17:09

rufflebee wrote:
Ace-of-Spades wrote:
Now I should post my hippo story as well.
Yes, you should.

It was a lie.

rufflebee · 2010-09-09 16:20:32

Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:
rufflebee wrote:
Ace-of-Spades wrote:
Now I should post my hippo story as well.
Yes, you should.
It was a lie.

Oh, I was assuming everyone had a hippo story.

Ace-Of-Hearts · 2010-09-09 16:27:24

rufflebee wrote:
Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:
rufflebee wrote:

Yes, you should.
It was a lie.
Oh, I was assuming everyone had a hippo story.

Everything I've ever said was a lie.

rufflebee · 2010-09-09 16:28:07

Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:
rufflebee wrote:
Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:

It was a lie.
Oh, I was assuming everyone had a hippo story.
Everything I've ever said was a lie.

That's very interesting.

Sunrise-Moon · 2010-09-09 16:31:06

Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:
rufflebee wrote:
Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:

It was a lie.
Oh, I was assuming everyone had a hippo story.
Everything I've ever said was a lie.

But that would mean that this was a lie, meaning that this is true, but if it's true, then it can't be a lie, eh?

RobotKitty · 2010-09-09 16:38:54

A Story About...Hippowdonz?

Nope...
;disappointment;

Last edited by RobotKitty (2010-09-09 16:39:19)

Ace-Of-Hearts · 2010-09-09 16:46:51

Sunrise-Moon wrote:
Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:
rufflebee wrote:

Oh, I was assuming everyone had a hippo story.
Everything I've ever said was a lie.
But that would mean that this was a lie, meaning that this is true, but if it's true, then it can't be a lie, eh?

Everything expect for my posts "It was a lie." and "Everything I've ever said was a lie." and this post are lies.

AnimeCreatorArtist · 2010-09-09 16:59:32

RobotKitty · 2010-09-09 17:00:30

AnimeCreatorArtist wrote:
http://www.juegosdb.com/wp-content//hippowdon.png

YUSH.

It is a story, finally.

AnimeCreatorArtist · 2010-09-09 17:08:02

RobotKitty wrote:
AnimeCreatorArtist wrote:
http://www.juegosdb.com/wp-content//hippowdon.png
YUSH.

It is a story, finally.

YUSH?

Ace-Of-Hearts · 2010-09-09 17:08:06

RobotKitty wrote:
AnimeCreatorArtist wrote:
http://www.juegosdb.com/wp-content//hippowdon.png
YUSH.

It is a story, finally.

It was a story the whole time

Aidan · 2010-09-09 17:10:04

Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:
RobotKitty wrote:
AnimeCreatorArtist wrote:
http://www.juegosdb.com/wp-content//hippowdon.png
YUSH.

It is a story, finally.
It was a story the whole time

LIES.

RobotKitty · 2010-09-09 17:14:22

Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:
RobotKitty wrote:
AnimeCreatorArtist wrote:
http://www.juegosdb.com/wp-content//hippowdon.png
YUSH.

It is a story, finally.
It was a story the whole time

But it wasn't too good for my taste.

rufflebee · 2010-09-09 17:16:39

How about we keep the conversation pertaining to Sunrise-Moon's story? big_smile

Last edited by rufflebee (2010-09-09 17:16:56)

Ace-Of-Hearts · 2010-09-09 17:17:07

RobotKitty wrote:
Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:
RobotKitty wrote:

YUSH.

It is a story, finally.
It was a story the whole time
But it wasn't too good for my taste.

You're not supposed to eat it..
Yes I know what you meant, but you messed up typing it.

RobotKitty · 2010-09-09 17:17:59

Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:
RobotKitty wrote:
Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:

It was a story the whole time
But it wasn't too good for my taste.
You're not supposed to eat it..
Yes I know what you meant, but you messed up typing it.

Hm, okay?

Blade-Edge · 2010-09-09 17:36:24

Can you two stop talking in colours?
I can because I rule
Well I guess Ace can too, then, so scratch that
Anyway, The pink hippos remind me of the psychedelic elephants from dumbo

Last edited by Blade-Edge (2010-09-09 17:36:38)

samurai768 · 2010-09-09 17:45:06

Sunrise-Moon wrote:
rufflebee wrote:
Cool hippo story, bro.
I don't like the lack of dialogue, though.
There's no one to talk to xD.

Make him talk to the hippos or himself xD

Sunrise-Moon · 2010-09-09 17:57:02

samurai768 wrote:
Sunrise-Moon wrote:
rufflebee wrote:
Cool hippo story, bro.
I don't like the lack of dialogue, though.
There's no one to talk to xD.
Make him talk to the hippos or himself xD

The hippos were actually going to talk to him in a second tongue

Scratch

archived forums

#1 2010-09-07 22:40:43

A Story About...Hippos?

#2 2010-09-07 22:42:55

Re: A Story About...Hippos?

#3 2010-09-07 22:44:36

Re: A Story About...Hippos?

#4 2010-09-07 23:03:12

Re: A Story About...Hippos?

#5 2010-09-08 02:20:15

Re: A Story About...Hippos?

rufflebee wrote:

#6 2010-09-08 05:43:36

Re: A Story About...Hippos?

Ace-of-Spades wrote:

Sunrise-Moon wrote:

rufflebee wrote:

#7 2010-09-09 16:17:09

Re: A Story About...Hippos?

rufflebee wrote:

Ace-of-Spades wrote:

#8 2010-09-09 16:20:32

Re: A Story About...Hippos?

Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:

rufflebee wrote:

Ace-of-Spades wrote:

#9 2010-09-09 16:27:24

Re: A Story About...Hippos?

rufflebee wrote:

Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:

rufflebee wrote:

#10 2010-09-09 16:28:07

Re: A Story About...Hippos?

Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:

rufflebee wrote:

Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:

#11 2010-09-09 16:31:06

Re: A Story About...Hippos?

Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:

rufflebee wrote:

Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:

#12 2010-09-09 16:38:54

Re: A Story About...Hippos?

#13 2010-09-09 16:46:51

Re: A Story About...Hippos?

Sunrise-Moon wrote:

Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:

rufflebee wrote:

#14 2010-09-09 16:59:32

Re: A Story About...Hippos?

#15 2010-09-09 17:00:30

Re: A Story About...Hippos?

AnimeCreatorArtist wrote:

#16 2010-09-09 17:08:02

Re: A Story About...Hippos?

RobotKitty wrote:

AnimeCreatorArtist wrote:

#17 2010-09-09 17:08:06

Re: A Story About...Hippos?

RobotKitty wrote:

AnimeCreatorArtist wrote:

#18 2010-09-09 17:10:04

Re: A Story About...Hippos?

Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:

RobotKitty wrote:

AnimeCreatorArtist wrote:

#19 2010-09-09 17:14:22

Re: A Story About...Hippos?

Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:

RobotKitty wrote:

AnimeCreatorArtist wrote:

#20 2010-09-09 17:16:39

Re: A Story About...Hippos?

#21 2010-09-09 17:17:07

Re: A Story About...Hippos?

RobotKitty wrote:

Ace-Of-Hearts wrote:

RobotKitty wrote:

#22 2010-09-09 17:17:59