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#1 2010-09-02 18:39:59

samurai768
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-21
Posts: 1000+

Critique My Poetry

Okay, here it goes...

"Math"

I sat down in fourth period and glared at the board

How am I supposed to do that?
All the numbers began to horde
Then circled around my head
Everyone sliced past the problems like butter

My pencil was still at question one
And my hand began to shudder
Then wrote out "I
Hate Math"

So, what did you think (It's an acrostic poem)

Spelling errors will be fixed, so don't worry about those. I'd rather you help with my word choice  tongue

Feel free to post your poetry and writing have people help with that too  big_smile

Last edited by samurai768 (2010-09-02 18:45:10)

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#2 2010-09-02 18:42:03

steppenwulf
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-23
Posts: 1000+

Re: Critique My Poetry

samurai768 wrote:

Okay, here it goes...

"Math"

I sat down in fourth period and glared at the board

How am I supposed to do that?
All the numbers began horde
Then circled around my head
Everyone sliced past the problems like butter

My pencil was still at question one
And my hand began to shudder
Then wrote out "I
Hate Math"

So, what did you think (It's an acrostic poem)

Spelling errors will be fixed, so don't worry about those. I'd rather you help with my word choice  tongue

Feel free to post your poetry and writing have people help with that too  big_smile

I like it  big_smile  But is it supposed to be "All the numbers began horde"?


I'm graduating HS this April and going to college in the Fall.

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#3 2010-09-02 18:42:22

keikij
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-02-22
Posts: 1000+

Re: Critique My Poetry

I agree xD
I hate math, but I'm really good at it >.<
Once I was thinking about Splice (I have a non-school appropriate nickname for it) and I wrote my nickname for it as an math problem answer, and the teacher gave me 100% xD

Anyways, I like the poem :p


Back from the Dead (And Stuff)

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#4 2010-09-02 18:45:01

samurai768
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-21
Posts: 1000+

Re: Critique My Poetry

steppenwulf wrote:

samurai768 wrote:

Okay, here it goes...

"Math"

I sat down in fourth period and glared at the board

How am I supposed to do that?
All the numbers began horde
Then circled around my head
Everyone sliced past the problems like butter

My pencil was still at question one
And my hand began to shudder
Then wrote out "I
Hate Math"

So, what did you think (It's an acrostic poem)

Spelling errors will be fixed, so don't worry about those. I'd rather you help with my word choice  tongue

Feel free to post your poetry and writing have people help with that too  big_smile

I like it  big_smile  But is it supposed to be "All the numbers began horde"?

Oops  tongue  I'l fix that xD

keikij wrote:

I agree xD
I hate math, but I'm really good at it >.<
Once I was thinking about Splice (I have a non-school appropriate nickname for it) and I wrote my nickname for it as an math problem answer, and the teacher gave me 100% xD

Anyways, I like the poem :p

Thanks x3

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#5 2010-09-02 18:49:13

rufflebee
Scratcher
Registered: 2008-10-15
Posts: 1000+

Re: Critique My Poetry

Its nice XD
When I'm bored in math class, I write all over my hands (Which is apparently against school rules ["No writing on body parts", said my agenda book  tongue ], but to be honest I couldn't care less. It's either expressing myself through drawing or punching someone in the face.) agenda, folders, binders, and so on. I'd put a picture of how much I've doodled just in the five days I've been in school, but the scanner's downstairs, and I don't feel like it.
Er.. Poems..
I would not like to be a tree,
Because then birds would live in me.
(Wrote that for LA last year, while everyone else wrote haikus and other fancy whatever. When we had to share them with the class, everyone was waiting after I read it, because they were expecting more XD)

Last edited by rufflebee (2010-09-02 18:49:37)


http://i44.tinypic.com/34e9cab.png

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#6 2010-09-02 18:53:17

keikij
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-02-22
Posts: 1000+

Re: Critique My Poetry

rufflebee wrote:

Its nice XD
When I'm bored in math class, I write all over my hands (Which is apparently against school rules ["No writing on body parts", said my agenda book  tongue ], but to be honest I couldn't care less. It's either expressing myself through drawing or punching someone in the face.) agenda, folders, binders, and so on. I'd put a picture of how much I've doodled just in the five days I've been in school, but the scanner's downstairs, and I don't feel like it.
Er.. Poems..
I would not like to be a tree,
Because then birds would live in me.
(Wrote that for LA last year, while everyone else wrote haikus and other fancy whatever. When we had to share them with the class, everyone was waiting after I read it, because they were expecting more XD)

xD
I wrote a very weird limerick about a friend who saved me from a bear xD
It was fictional, BTW.


Back from the Dead (And Stuff)

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#7 2010-09-02 19:05:59

rufflebee
Scratcher
Registered: 2008-10-15
Posts: 1000+

Re: Critique My Poetry

keikij wrote:

xD
I wrote a very weird limerick about a friend who saved me from a bear xD
It was fictional, BTW.

I wrote a limerick about a kid named Binky. (also for class)
It was fictional, BTW  tongue


http://i44.tinypic.com/34e9cab.png

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#8 2010-09-02 19:11:07

samurai768
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-21
Posts: 1000+

Re: Critique My Poetry

I really do hate math, but I don't hate my math teacher  tongue  She's really nice xD

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