Scratch

samurai768 wrote:

Depends on the type of song, it's looks like a rap song to me, if it isn't correct me, but it's wouldn't sound corny at all if it is 

Well I'm really havnt thought of it being a rap... But it sounds good!

rufflebee wrote:

They don't remind me a bit of corn.

Ugh

AnimeCreatorArtist wrote:

rufflebee wrote:

They don't remind me a bit of corn.

Ugh

Well, they don't. Are they supposed to? Because those lyrics have no mention of any sort of grain, let alone corn.

Nice!    I think it will sound good. I would want to hear it! 

m71134 wrote:

I think those lyrics look pretty good. And don't worry; they probably won't sound cheesy anymore once you add some music and a melody  .

THIS

I support ALL music creation!  It's a good thing to see more people getting into songwriting.  Nice job!

I think it's great! Even I can't write lyrics that good! Don't be so hard on yourself.

I'm applauding for you, buddy! 

I really like them 

AnimeCreatorArtist wrote:

I made some lyrics, but I think they sound corny. Is that how every lyricist feels about their songs at first? (I'm not finished with the songs yet)


It's My Problem

I know it's tough, I can hardly take it
If there's something to do
I promise I won't fake it.
Why do you have to get up in all my buisness
Just remember that your not choiceless.
Help yourself, or someone else.

Don't worry about me right now.
Go away, cause I wil not allow
You to turn my mission foul.
My dignity is getting numb....
It's my problem.


If I seem stuck 
Then I'm outta luck.
I have to do this alone.
Just stay home....
It's my problem

I must face the dark, just me
Stay behind, cause' for now there is  no team
Just follow your own dream

Step off
Go away
I don't need you today
Please understand 
I need to make my own plan
I want to see why I am 
Left here to wonder......

Wonder how this all started!

I just can't fail
There's something I need to do
I need to
Be the best
Head on my quest
And complete the final test
I need to
Plant a new seed
Inside of me
To show that I'm worthy
I need to
Find out what's wrong with me
So please just let me be
This isn't a time for joy and glee





In your shadow

Everyones so proud of you
Sometimes I don't think there's anything else I can do
I tried so hard to see the light
Without trying, you won the fight
Now I can't tell if is day or night

Darkness surrounds all the things I see
I feel that there's something wrong with me
Second place is all I'll ever be

Theres no way I can compete with you
I'm the paper and your the glue
Covering me with your foul attitude





Oppinions?

Sing it and take out those two verses that I highlighted and see how it flows. Idk how the beat you imagined goes, but it flows better with my beat if you take them out.

Last edited by steppenwulf (2010-08-12 17:35:50)