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#1 2010-07-14 05:44:30

helltank
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-05-21
Posts: 1000+

Story: The Apocalypse

I saw some Scratchers posting stories on here, and since I can't get into storynetwork for some reason, here goes....

12:37:45,14th July 2010.
Ghost sighed as he put the finishing touches on his Apocalypse Fort. Why? Why does the world have to end so soon? He remembered it all. From the very first attack. He remembered that fateful day, 13th July. He remembered seeing the first mutant crawl out of the filthy sewer, and running away. He remembered people being slaughtered. And now, those terrible mutants ruled the world. Not that Ghost was normal. He, in fact, was also a mutant. A mutant that chose not to help destroy the world of humans, humans who had raised him, cared for him, and nurtured him. Thus, he survived the Bio-Nuke that the mutants planted, designed to destroy all non-mutants. But he could not live in peace. They would look for him, hunt him down and kill him mercilessly. His only hope was to use his ability to walk through walls, and sneak into markets to steal supplies. Or so he thought. There were other survivors out there, mutants who were not part of the invading army. One of them was Shadow. As Ghost wearily walked yet again to the market, Shadow, so named for his uncanny power to hide in shadows, came out of the shadows, for the first time in 2 days, to greet Ghost. "Are you a mutant too?" he asked. Ghost, shocked that there were other survivors, responded,"Yes. Do you want to form a team, and help each other?" and thus the Mutant Team was formed.


Note: This is unfinished. Only the prologue is written. Feel free to criticize constructively, suggest plot ideas or introduce potential characters in the comments. If I like it enough, I may accept your suggestions!


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#2 2010-07-14 12:31:48

J0j2
Scratcher
Registered: 2008-08-20
Posts: 1000+

Re: Story: The Apocalypse

Huh, this seems like it has a lot of potential!

Strange you can't get on storynetwork...I did a couple changes on the site, try now.

The mutant team...I feel like you could be a little more creative on that title there, but it's an interesting idea, Mutants who want to destroy humanity. Maybe you could do some POV (point of veiw) for some different characters on their racism towards humans. It's cool and I'd like to see more. What kind of personality does ghost have? How old is he?

I hope you can access storynetwork. Try again soon.  smile  And nice story, btw.

J0j2


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#3 2010-07-14 12:40:20

melikecheese
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-06-09
Posts: 500+

Re: Story: The Apocalypse

Cool, I like it. But if Ghost and Shadow have only Just met, why would they form a team straight away. It seems to me that they are complete strangers?  But, apart from that it is really good  smile

Last edited by melikecheese (2010-07-14 12:41:28)


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