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What happens when you're bored, you analyze things too much, and you want to write a post for "My Weird Stories" topic? Read on to find out!

A weird (intended) short story (well it's not a 400pg novel-- define short  ) that I made in two hours just recently. Hope you like! 

The Nonsensical Life of Spiralro the Christmas Tree worm

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PART ONE
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    Once upon a time, there was a Christmas Tree worm that lived in the Sea of Cortez, close to the seashore. It was the 5th of May, and no fishing boaters were in sight. The sea was void of human life; well except two Americans stranded on a deserted island- but we won't get to that.

    Now, this Christmas Tree worm was commonly known to his friends as Spiralro (his sister called him Spigo, his mother called him Spino, his grandpa called him Spitteltoe, his nephew called him Spinner-o, and his enemies called him Lunch). And on this day, he was known to use his feathery arms to clean his spiral top, which he only did once a year. That day it was very muddy-looking.

    On this day you would find Spiralro basking in the sun rays, watching (even though he had no eyes)tiny, blinking flashes in the deep distance as they enamored his mind. He wasn't that far from the coral reef (which was behind him). Suddenly his grandpa, wearing a necklace of tiny rocks around his neck, slugged up next to Spiralro (or Spittelroe). Spiralro was thinking at first that his grandpa was going to complain about Global Warming and how the water is getting so hot and not as deep as it should be, or talk about how spiders should change their hair to the hairstyle of his liking( even though he had never seen a spider, or could even see anything); but then Spiralro cast the thought from his mind, expecting something worse. What he got was not the worst, but better. It wasn't the best, but it was worst than the Global Warming. It wasn't worse than spider hair, but it was better than what grandma was talking about, and that wasn't too pretty.
    Spiralro thought hard about what his grandpa had said to him about cleaning his spiral top. Grandpa, who was still next to him, continued to talk, even thought he knew his grandson, Spittelroe (as he would call him), was thinking about what he had just said. Spiralro's grandpa blabbered on, "And like I was saying, you should make sure you grab some of those shark scales, 'cus they're real rough, so you can get that strong mud Yoyo threw at you 5 months ago. Speaking of Yoyo, did I ever tell you what happened to him?" Spiralro was thinking about his grandpa's first sentence. Spittelroe's grandpa crossed his eyes (even though he had none) and asked Spiralro again, "Well?" Spiralro lifted his head and looked at his grandpa (or at least face him because he had no eyes), "Huh? Um.. yes." Grandpa clasped his hands together (even though he had none) and gave a sigh, "Well, remember what I told you! I'll see you at the Vacuum With No Name this evening!" It was the twelfth hour. Spittelroe nodded as his grandpa left to go only 1 foot back to the coral reef. One foot in worm terms that is. For worms, 1 foot was the length of a worm's foot, which wasn't very long. So really, he didn't have to go far at all. Well, at least in worms' terms. In planktons' terms, they'd have to-- never mind let me continue the story.

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PART TWO
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    Anyway, Spiralro decided to prepare for the event when he would clean his spiral top. The whole Rogerson and Belivinson families would be there along with his own. The Rogersons and Belivinsons totaled to 5.5 Christmas Tree worms. The 0.5 because one of the worms had been cut in half by a local squid; but he survived the encounter, losing his head in the process though. He is now spoon-fed by Spino's mother, since he has no other way of eating.

    ANYWAY, Spiralro got his leaf checklist on what things he needed to clean his spiral top in front of all those Christmas Tree worms. He looked at the checklist (again, even though he had no eyes)and said aloud what things he needed to get; SO loud in fact, that even the tiny, blinking squids in the distance heard him. The things are as follows: Shark scales (he just added that thanks to his grandpa), a Vacuum, Pencil, and the number 6. He nodded as he implanted the ideas into his brain (literally...!). And with that, he went off to get the stuff.

    The first thing, shark scales, were pretty easy to find because where the Christmas Tree worms lived there were tons of sharks (literally, tons. Because if there were just pounds, then they wouldn't be as scary now would they?). In fact, there were 20 within a foot (human foot this time) of Spiralro alone. Spiralro picked up 5 (somehow…)and brought it to the evening event's site (where the event would take place that evening) so that he wouldn't have to be embarrassed and go back and get them from somewhere. The next things were the vacuum and pencil. These weren’t hard to get either because a local shark had sunk a humans’ fishing boat which (strangely) had a vacuum in it, and a pencil. The humans were never heard from again, but the vacuum is heard from constantly. Every month it makes this loud honking, sucking noise. Nobody knows what causes it. Some people (or fish, or worms) think that it is the cries of the fishermen. Now you can see why fish like to say home.
    Strangely enough, the vacuum was exactly where the evening event would take place, so he just had to plug it in to a local, water-proof power supply the same shark had ransacked from the same humans’ boat. Even stranger, was that the power supply was already connected to the vacuum- well… mostly connected. It was 1 inch (in human terms) of being fully plugged in; so Spiralro slithered up the cable connecting the vacuum to the power supply and pushed the plug in with all his might. Completely even more stranger, is that it connected perfectly, and the vacuum now had a means for powering up. For such a small worm, this was an amazing feat. Little did Spiralro know that it was already connected, and it not being completely connected was a figment of imagination. Actually, when he pushed it in more, it damaged a tiny little wire in the cord, which just hampered the vacuums sucking power a little bit. Not much change.

    Spiralro next had to get the pencil. This was easy ‘cus it was right next to the vacuum. All he had to do is set it down, because it was taking too much room in it’s standing up position. He also needed it to face down so that he could use it for his evening cleaning event. He knew this was too much of a feet for him alone so he asked his grandpa to help him. All grandpa had to do was bump into the tip of the pencil (which was amazingly balancing on the sandy sea floor), and the pencil fell over, exactly where Spiralro needed it to be. “Thanks!” Spiral said to his grandpa, as if there was someone else he could of said it to. The grandpa nodded with a wink (they had eyelids??) and left Spiralro to find his last thing: the rare, number 6. Now, number 6 was pretty hard to find. There were never 6 of anything, anywhere- let alone the number 6 itself. Spiralro wasn’t sure what to do. How would he find it? He thought long and hard. So long in fact, that it was only 30 minutes before the event would begin, and so hard, that in fact, his spiral was beginning to droop over his head, so that it made it a little more difficult for Spiralro to see (even though he had no eyes).

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PART THREE
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    It finally came time for the event, and Spiralro was at a loss as what to get. He sighed in a frown, as three families (including his own) gathered around Spiralro by sitting on the wood bleachers (leftovers from the boat) situated around the vacuum (and Spiralro). They began cheering him on, saying things like, ‘A clean spiral top a year, makes the big bad sharks disappear!’, or ‘That’s the way to go!’ (even though it wasn’t a path, it was just a set of mechanics Spiralro put in place for his yearly cleaning). The crowd cheered Spiralro on as he began the cleaning. His grandpa shouted, “Keep it up, son!” (because the spiral top was beginning to droop further over his head). Spiralro burned (not literally) with confidence as he began his tasks. He first raced towards the vacuum (even though there was no one to race) and turned it on. He quickly got 1 foot (in human terms) away from the vacuum from the sandy sea floor so that it wouldn’t suck him in. The vacuum did, however, suck off some aged, dried mud from his lowest spirals.  It felt good. Too good, in fact, that Spiralro almost forgot to turn the vacuum off (for fear that it would suck his spiral off, given the chance), until his faithful and careful grandpa reminded him, “Spiral! The vacuum!” (he wasn’t saying that Spiral was a vacuum, he was just saying that Spiral needed to turn off the vacuum. This is the easy way most lazy Americans tell other people to do things). Spiralro was quick to act as he sped up the vacuums side and turned it off. The crowd cheered as Spiralro sighed with relief; but the event wasn’t over yet.
    Spiralro quicky got off the vacuum and went over to the pencil’s eraser side. He rubbed his spiral middles with it to get the salt that had strangely gotten ‘undisolved’ from the sea water. The crowd’s cheers were even louder now. Spiralro noticed that he forgot to do the shark scales. He quickly got his shark scales and scraped (yes, scraped) them on his spiral tops to get the dirt off. He felt so much better. Any Christmas Tree worm would say it was a pretty good clean; but Spiralro knew that he still needed to get the number 6. He began to cry because he was at a loss as what to use. The crowd began to hush. Spiral kneeled down (he has no knees though) and dramatically, like you see in a lot of movies (or at least somebody does), looked up to the heavens for an answer. He really was just looking up to the surface of the water, but who cares. All of the sudden, Spiralro noticed something blocking the rays of sunlight that were (in the process of) blinding Spiralro’s eyes. Could it be true? Was it really? Yes it was! It was a candy number 6, in all its glory. The number 6 floated gently down to Spiralro. It was kind of big, but that didn’t matter. Spiralro was leaping with joy (somehow…) as he the crowd cheered). The number 6 was slowly descending. It finally reached the bottom, only to smush Spiralro under it’s weight. The crowd hushed to dead silence. Yes, it’s true: silence died too.
    Anyway, the crowd was right about to cry, when Spiralro, beaten and bruised, emerged from the gooey, candy number 6. When he got out. The crowd was stunned by his glory. Spiralro’s spiral was shining as bright as the sun, and sparkled in colors of the reef. Spiralro shouted to wake up the stunned crowd, “Wake up!” The crowd quickly came back to their senses (they had left them), and cheered Spiralro on. They all came down from the wooden bleachers toward him smiling, praising him, and asking him questions. Spiralro was very happy. Here he was, the cleanest Christmas Tree worm the world had ever seen (or at least the Christmas Tree worms in his presence, for now). His grandpa came up to him and hugged Spiralro, “You did good, my grandson.” Spiralro hugged him back as he smiled and closed his eyes, “You too, Grandpa.” The crowd “aww”-ed at the sight. This was the best day of Spiralro’s life.

    Spiralro now (yes, he’s still alive after all that time)lives in the tallest coral in the reef. He is very famous among all the Sea of Cortez, but is very humble, and not greedy at all. He gives plankton-meal to homeless Christmas Tree worms, and has started a ‘drinkable water’ trend where he (and his employees) manufacture non-salty sea water for the populace to drink. When Christmas Tree worms and other animals ask him how he felt when the candy number 6 fell on him, he just laughs and says, “It was a real *Lifesaver!”

*a gummy candy. This is relating to the candy six.

Last edited by Ludichris1 (2010-04-29 09:02:43)