Scratch

Someone mentioned me?!

Mr_X wrote:

The rules of the internet:
1) Every woman is a man    2) Every man is a child    3) Every child is an FBI agent

I think your signature is pretty funny (if only because of the magnitude of the truth behind it!)

This ones good, My brother made it up a loooooong time ago. (At least he says he did.)
A boy named Flower, walks up to his mum, and asks "Why am I called Flower?" The mum replied, "Because when you were born, a flower landed on your head." The boys sister asks his mum, "Why am I called Rose?" The mum replies, "Because when you were born, a rose landed on your head." The youngest in the family, walks up his mum and asks "BVDSFHDSHFLAHDSF?" The mum replies "Shut up Fridge."

LOL.

VolknerN7Xfish wrote:

08jackt wrote:

This ones good, My brother made it up a loooooong time ago. (At least he says he did.)
A boy named Flower, walks up to his mum, and asks "Why am I called Flower?" The mum replied, "Because when you were born, a flower landed on your head." The boys sister asks his mum, "Why am I called Rose?" The mum replies, "Because when you were born, a rose landed on your head." The youngest in the family, walks up his mum and asks "BVDSFHDSHFLAHDSF?" The mum replies "Shut up Fridge."

LOL.

it makes no sense,but that is what makes it funny.

It actually makes a lot of sense, and it's really funny.

Why did the crocodile cross the road?

1+1

<broadcast[ fart ]and <wait until> [all others are dead]

One day in kindergarden, the teacher asked the kids to bring in some poo so they could study what animal it was from.

There was a boy named Fred who didn't bring any in.

It traumatized Fred, so the next month, he brought in some presents for the teacher.

"Oh, a single raisin, how nice!" The teacher said. He brought the present in every day.

One day, he stopped.

The teacher asked him, "why?" and he said:

"My rabbit died. He stopped giving me the presents."



Oh, here's another good one.



Pig #1 went to the market, bought a soda, and asked where the bathroom was.

"To the left," the guy at the cash register said.

Pig #2 went to the market, bought a soda, and asked where the bathroom was.

"To the left," the guy at the cash register said.

Pig #3 went to the market, bought a soda, and asked where the bathroom was.

"To the left," the guy at the cash register said.

Pig #4 went to the market, bought a soda, and asked where the bathroom was.

"To the left," the guy at the cash register said.

Pig #5 went to the market, bought a soda, and walked out the door.

He stopped the pig and said "Wait, don't you want to know where the bathroom is?"

The pig said: "No. I go wee-wee-wee-wee all the way home."

Last edited by GirWaffles64 (2010-04-04 14:02:48)

A policeman is interrogating three people who are training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first trainee a picture for five seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect. How would you recognize him?"
The guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "That's because the picture I showed you is his profile!"
Then the policeman flashes the picture for five seconds at the second trainee and asks him the same question.
The guy smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?! Of course only one eye and one ear are showing, because it's a picture of his profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated, he shows the picture to to the third trainee and says, "This is your suspect. How would you recognize him?"
He looks intently at the picture for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is caught off guard because he doesn't know if that is true or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer," he says. "Wait here for a moment while I go check his file."
After checking the file, he comes back smiling.  "Wow! I can't believe it! It's true! The suspect does in fact wear contacts! How were you able to figure that out?"
"That's easy," the trainee replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

From the book "Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar...: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes"

My Joke:

Q: How does Lady GaGa like her Steak Cooked?

A: RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW!!!

Last edited by EmperorEvil (2010-03-31 18:27:12)

floatingmagictree wrote:

VolknerN7Xfish wrote:

08jackt wrote:

This ones good, My brother made it up a loooooong time ago. (At least he says he did.)
A boy named Flower, walks up to his mum, and asks "Why am I called Flower?" The mum replied, "Because when you were born, a flower landed on your head." The boys sister asks his mum, "Why am I called Rose?" The mum replies, "Because when you were born, a rose landed on your head." The youngest in the family, walks up his mum and asks "BVDSFHDSHFLAHDSF?" The mum replies "Shut up Fridge."

LOL.

it makes no sense,but that is what makes it funny.

It actually makes a lot of sense, and it's really funny.

It actually makes a lot of sense, but it's not that funny. And I'm pretty sure your brother didn't make it up, because I heard a joke about 99% similar to that one before.

just see my sig.

bbtall wrote:

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead discovered the mirror of truth.
you had to say the truth in front of it. If you said the truth, something good will happen. if you didn't you dissapear. the brunette went up and said,"I am the prettiest girl in the world!" she wasnt. she dissapeared. the redhead went up and said,"i am the smartest girl in the world!" she wasnt. she dissapeared. the blonde went up and said,"I think-" she dissapeared.



A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were sitting on a bridge eating lunch. they each hated the lunch they had. that day, the blonde asked her mother to pack her a different sandwich. she said she'd jump off the bridge if she haad the same sandwich. the next day, she had the same sandwich. she jumped off the bridge and died. at the funeral, the redhead asked the blondes mom why the blonde had the same sandwich. the blondes mom said,"she packs her own lunch."

A boy had to learn the first four letters of the alphabet. He asked his big sister who said,"oh shut up." he wrote that down. he asked his big brother who said,"go away."
he wrote that down. he asked his mom who replied"not now sweetie." he wrote that down. he asked his little brother who was playing a batman video game who said"BATMAN!" the next day at school, the teacher asked him what the first letter was. the boy said"oh shut up" the teacher said that wasn't a very nice thing to say. the boy replied,"go away" the boy was sent to the principals office where he had to explain why he did that. the boy said,"not now sweetie" the principal replied "who do you think i am?!?!" the boy said,"BATMAN!!!!"


I have tons of other jokes too.

Lol

floatingmagictree wrote:

EmperorEvil wrote:

My Joke:

Q: How does Lady GaGa like her Steak Cooked?

A: RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW!!!

How do you annoy Lady Gaga?

You need to Po Po Po poke her face.

I heard another version of this one, only instead it was "How do you make Lady GaGa cry?  Poker Face."