Scratch

MyRedNeptune wrote:

Greatdane wrote:

I have a couple:
A virus walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve viruses in here". The virus replaces the bartender and says "Now we do!"

An infectious disease walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve any infectious diseases in here". The infection disease replies, "Well, you're not a very good host!"

A bacteria walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve bacteria in here". The bacteria says, "Hey, I'm staff".

A room temperature superconductor walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve any room temperature superconductors in here" and the room temperature superconductor leaves without putting up any resistance.

An infrared particle walks into a bar, and says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?"

A neutrino walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve neutrinos in here" the neutrino says, "Hey, I was just passing through. "

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't!

The last one I think is the funniest, but you need to know science to understand them.

Hehe, loved those. xD

Schrödinger and Heisenburg? xD

Here's a link.

Vista4563 wrote:

Schrödinger and Heisenburg? xD

It's dead... and alive! >x3

Vista4563 wrote:

Here's a link.

That's a link to a wall of text
TL; DR

Vista4563 wrote:

Here's one that I heard on the grapevine. My version.

A chick walks up to a postal office manager and says, "Have any grain?"

Of course, the manager immediately corrects him. "Wrong store. Try the market down the street."

The next day, the chick goes to the same post office and the same manager. He got the same response. This continued for a week.

On the last day of the week, he walks down to the post office and asks, "Do you have any grain?"

By now, the manager is furious. "If you say that ONE MORE TIME, I'll nail your feet to the ground!"

"Have any nails?"
"No, why would we?"
"...have any grain?"

Meh

Greatdane wrote:

I have a couple:
A virus walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve viruses in here". The virus replaces the bartender and says "Now we do!"

An infectious disease walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve any infectious diseases in here". The infection disease replies, "Well, you're not a very good host!"

A bacteria walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve bacteria in here". The bacteria says, "Hey, I'm staff".

A room temperature superconductor walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve any room temperature superconductors in here" and the room temperature superconductor leaves without putting up any resistance.

An infrared particle walks into a bar, and says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?"

A neutrino walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve neutrinos in here" the neutrino says, "Hey, I was just passing through. "

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't!

The last one I think is the funniest, but you need to know science to understand them.

I like the last four. Especially the neutrino and cat ones. 

Greatdane wrote:

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't!

I like that one. 

08jackt wrote:

RHY3756547 wrote:

darkknuckles wrote:

<when[ fart ]key pressed>

Why am I a member of a site where people laugh at fart jokes?
Has some serious illness come over me?

all males find farts funny....

Correct! 

Greatdane wrote:

I have a couple:
A virus walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve viruses in here". The virus replaces the bartender and says "Now we do!"

An infectious disease walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve any infectious diseases in here". The infection disease replies, "Well, you're not a very good host!"

A bacteria walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve bacteria in here". The bacteria says, "Hey, I'm staff".

A room temperature superconductor walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve any room temperature superconductors in here" and the room temperature superconductor leaves without putting up any resistance.

An infrared particle walks into a bar, and says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?"

A neutrino walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve neutrinos in here" the neutrino says, "Hey, I was just passing through. "

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't!

The last one I think is the funniest, but you need to know science to understand them.

Didn't really find any of them funny. And yes, I did understand them all (except for that first one).

Ok here's a joke I'm making up right now
My dad always says bear instead of beer because of his accent

My dad walks into a bar
He asks the bartender for a beer
The bartender says "black grizzly or polar?"
My dad says "what do you mean? uh... grizzly"
The bartender takes out a bear and the bear eats my dad
(Yeah, I'm not really fond of my dad)

Ace-of-Spades wrote:

Greatdane wrote:

I have a couple:
A virus walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve viruses in here". The virus replaces the bartender and says "Now we do!"

An infectious disease walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve any infectious diseases in here". The infection disease replies, "Well, you're not a very good host!"

A bacteria walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve bacteria in here". The bacteria says, "Hey, I'm staff".

A room temperature superconductor walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve any room temperature superconductors in here" and the room temperature superconductor leaves without putting up any resistance.

An infrared particle walks into a bar, and says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?"

A neutrino walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve neutrinos in here" the neutrino says, "Hey, I was just passing through. "

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't!

The last one I think is the funniest, but you need to know science to understand them.

Didn't really find any of them funny. And yes, I did understand them all (except for that first one).

You don't have any sense of humor, so I won't count on that advice anyway.

A man was driving in the middle of the night. He ran over some corn. "DAT WUZ CORNY" a farmer said.