Scratch

Some things about naming,
Try to avoid characters with rhyming names if you want readers to keep them apart, even if they are twins.
"Mint" is a strangely out of context name for somebody in a world inhabited by a Harry and Gary, so that should probably be a nickname, or have some decent justification for it.

Description wrote:

Personality: Quiet, violent and harsh.
Likes: Shadows, fighting, punching walls, and his friend Mint.
Dislikes: Sunlight, gangsters, his mom.

such hardcor emo o my
I assume this means that his motivation for leaving his home was his mother?
The sunlight/shadows and punching walls thing actually made me laugh when I read it so it might be a bit too over the top or stereotypical to be taken seriously 

Anyway, you can't just say, "oh yeah he lived on the street cause he's tough" as Sellout said, you'll definitely need a good explanation for why he was able to if you don't want him to die or be taken in by someone.

Last edited by soupoftomato (2013-04-10 18:42:23)

Sellout wrote:

soupoftomato wrote:

Harry is probably an over-common name,

I don't think so, it's a pretty realistic name. I've only met one person named Harry and it doesn't seem particularly cliche to me, never read a book with a character named Harry either

Fair enough.
I wasn't trying to imply Harry Potter was an end-all or anything either but when I see people talking about them naming characters it comes up in the back of my mind.

Also, mintfang, if that's all you have of your plot and you're asking for ideas I would try harder on your own first.

Last edited by soupoftomato (2013-04-10 18:43:51)

soupoftomato wrote:

Some things about naming,
Try to avoid characters with rhyming names if you want readers to keep them apart, even if they are twins.
"Mint" is a strangely out of context name for somebody in a world inhabited by a Harry and Gary, so that should probably be a nickname, or have some decent justification for it.

Description wrote:

Personality: Quiet, violent and harsh.
Likes: Shadows, fighting, punching walls, and his friend Mint.
Dislikes: Sunlight, gangsters, his mom.

such hardcor emo o my
I assume this means that his motivation for leaving his home was his mother?
The sunlight/shadows and punching walls thing actually made me laugh when I read it so it might be a bit too over the top or stereotypical to be taken seriously 

Anyway, you can't just say, "oh yeah he lived on the street cause he's tough" as Sellout said, you'll definitely need a good explanation for why he was able to if you don't want him to die or be taken in by someone.

Again, how do you know he's normal? I could edit the first post and make him a demigod or Animorph or something. And you should hear Mint's sister's name.

Okay, if your not going to give ideas, why post? I ask for one thing and one thing only: ideas about the storyline. Not people telling me he can't survive or that Mint's a weird name. And I have already tried. On Wattpad. I got like 3 reads in a month or so. And so what if he likes pain and hates light? Maybe he's just the dark side of me. Depressed, has two friends, and all that. Maybe he's different. Maybe I should just delete this whole topic and try again on my own. Maybe I don't want any advice, I want plot ideas. Maybe I should shut my trap. Maybe I don't want to write about the New York you know, I want to write about the New York I know.I know I sound like I'm ranting, and I kinda am, but I just didn't expect everyone to tell me he couldn't survive.

EDIT: And thank you so much, Waffle. I really like those ideas 

Last edited by mintfang (2013-04-10 19:55:01)

Sellout wrote:

And I don't honestly think there's much adventure and fun in being homeless so I don't have any plot points to suggest right now except trying to detail the actual struggles of living on the streets

So you could write about where he sleeps, where he gets his food, how he bathes, how are his teeth under these conditions? Where does he go to the bathroom? What happens if he's sick and where does he get his clothes?

mintfang wrote:

Sellout wrote:

Sellout wrote:

And I don't honestly think there's much adventure and fun in being homeless so I don't have any plot points to suggest right now except trying to detail the actual struggles of living on the streets

So you could write about where he sleeps, where he gets his food, how he bathes, how are his teeth under these conditions? Where does he go to the bathroom? What happens if he's sick and where does he get his clothes?

He sleeps in random places, he gets food from restaurant trash-cans, he dosen't bathe, his teeth are probably fine (LOL), he goes to the bathroom... that would WAY TMI, he goes to Mint if he's sick and he climbs into donation bins at night to look for clothes. That answer your questions?

I wasn't asking to be answered, I was suggesting you write about them because it wouldn't make sense for a boy to just exist on the street without having it explained how he does any of those things