Scratch
archived forums
#1 2013-04-02 16:01:38
A Perfect World Essay, relating to utopias.
For a school project, we have done an essay on utopias. It relates to the book, The Giver. I just thought that I had some interesting ideas jotted down.
See it here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1brL … sp=sharing
2.0 coming soon...
Offline
#2 2013-04-02 16:14:01
- genderdysmorphia
- Scratcher
- Registered: 2013-03-28
- Posts: 100+
Re: A Perfect World Essay, relating to utopias.
This requires technology so advanced, it can wipe out emotion
i got that they'd been conditioned to believe that the process of "letting go" was a "good" action, seeing as jonah (jonas? was it anything like that?) still had emotion when he saw what "letting go" did
was it even called letting go? i forgot
We can’t have people at an advantage or disadvantage.
sounds like a harrison bergeron situation to me
http://www.tnellen.com/cybereng/harrison.html
goodby scrat on pont fore
Offline
#3 2013-04-02 16:19:29
- soupoftomato
- Scratcher
- Registered: 2009-07-18
- Posts: 1000+
Re: A Perfect World Essay, relating to utopias.
Maybe capitalize the title and don't put it in Comic Sans!
Also, I assume you are safe sharing you're real name?
Essay wrote:
It is truly impossible to make a perfect world. It really is impossible.
Redundant. In two ways: you don't need to emphasize something is impossible with an adverb as impossible is a definite, and the second sentence is just a briefer version of the first.
Essay wrote:
which is less of it than The Giver, but still
Not professional word choice!
Also, while somebody DOES carry all the burden in "The Giver" do we really need that? It's not like we can literally transfer all our memories to one person, it was just a method to introduce the idea of what has been taken away from society to Jonah.
So, if you ignore the concept of The Giver in The Giver, their world is pretty much utopian. Everyone is at least content, nobody realizes or understands what isn't there, so while from the outside to us it is dehumanizing and cruel, they feel fine.
Essay wrote:
Even if it was done, there is a VERY good chance it would break, and then everything goes wrong.
The idea of a collapse is brought up several times but never elaborated on how or why this is likely or even possible.
Also, you use the examples of "The Hunger Games" and "The Truman Show" for the essay, without explaining the utopian system employed by either, or why they are also bad. Do not assume the reader knows what these are. Even things explored in "The Giver" should probably be restated.
Last edited by soupoftomato (2013-04-02 16:20:42)
I'm glad to think that the community will always be kind and helpful, the language will always be a fun and easy way to be introduced into programming, the motto will always be: Imagine, Program, Share - Nomolos
Offline
#4 2013-04-02 16:22:32
- soupoftomato
- Scratcher
- Registered: 2009-07-18
- Posts: 1000+
Re: A Perfect World Essay, relating to utopias.
genderdysmorphia wrote:
We can’t have people at an advantage or disadvantage.
sounds like a harrison bergeron situation to me
http://www.tnellen.com/cybereng/harrison.html
I remember reading that as a class in fifth grade!
That was really good.
I'm glad to think that the community will always be kind and helpful, the language will always be a fun and easy way to be introduced into programming, the motto will always be: Imagine, Program, Share - Nomolos
Offline
#5 2013-04-02 16:32:43
Re: A Perfect World Essay, relating to utopias.
soupoftomato wrote:
genderdysmorphia wrote:
We can’t have people at an advantage or disadvantage.
sounds like a harrison bergeron situation to me
http://www.tnellen.com/cybereng/harrison.htmlI remember reading that as a class in fifth grade!
That was really good.
I just read it right now.
That was... really sad, but good!
Scratching that nasty wart on my back since 2009!
Offline
#6 2013-04-02 16:37:33
- soupoftomato
- Scratcher
- Registered: 2009-07-18
- Posts: 1000+
Re: A Perfect World Essay, relating to utopias.
geohendan wrote:
soupoftomato wrote:
genderdysmorphia wrote:
sounds like a harrison bergeron situation to me
http://www.tnellen.com/cybereng/harrison.htmlI remember reading that as a class in fifth grade!
That was really good.I just read it right now.
That was... really sad, but good!
Oh yeah and I also just remembered why the name "Bergeron" never really sat right with me when I would hear it other places seeing that story again.
I'm glad to think that the community will always be kind and helpful, the language will always be a fun and easy way to be introduced into programming, the motto will always be: Imagine, Program, Share - Nomolos
Offline
#7 2013-04-02 16:57:52
- dontbombiraq
- Scratcher
- Registered: 2009-08-26
- Posts: 100+
Re: A Perfect World Essay, relating to utopias.
soupoftomato wrote:
Maybe capitalize the title and don't put it in Comic Sans!
Offline
#8 2013-04-02 19:30:57
#9 2013-04-02 20:01:34
Re: A Perfect World Essay, relating to utopias.
it describes a utopia
"Utopias are impossible to create."
"Without control, a utopia is free to collapse"
"Now even though we think we have a utopia, we do not. "
"After addressing all of this, I think back to my “utopia” which was completely free"
cause a bird and a fish could fall in love/but where would they live?
Offline
#10 2013-04-02 20:19:40
- soupoftomato
- Scratcher
- Registered: 2009-07-18
- Posts: 1000+
Re: A Perfect World Essay, relating to utopias.
Necromaster wrote:
You describe dystopia, not utopia.
A dystopia is an attempt at creating a utopia that ultimately goes bad.
Simply having a bad government does not constitute a dystopia, the idea that it is considered utopian is the key.
I'm glad to think that the community will always be kind and helpful, the language will always be a fun and easy way to be introduced into programming, the motto will always be: Imagine, Program, Share - Nomolos
Offline