Scratch

The sun was shining outside the window when Rarse awoke. He swam out of his clam shell groggily, not fully comprehending what was going on around him. He rubbed his eyes and opened them again, and gasped with horror as he looked above.
A dark shape slid across the surface of the water far above. Mer-people were fleeing the city, and families hid in their sea kelp houses.
Rarse watched in awed fascination as web like shapes fell from the craft. He was pulled to the side as one fell over him, and he turned to see his father, Grupt.
"Don't touch the nets!" he commanded before swimming quickly away. Rarse looked to the side and saw one of the nets fold around a mermaid, she screamed and tried to escape, but to no avail. More fell everywhere, and black ooze drifted from the giant shape.
Another net fell close to Rarse, and he bravely swam under it, ready to face the enemy. But the ropes caught his tail, him arms, his head. He struggled, but it grew tighter. Throwing punches, he tried to weave his way out but to know avail. Yells echoed around him, a flash of silver, and the net fell apart. There was his father again, holding a knife. Rarse recognized it as the one made from the shell of a clam, Grupt had spent hours sharpening the knife, grinding it against the stones to perfection.
"Go!" he yelled, and as Rarse shot away, a net covered Grupt's body also. He tried to cut the ropes with his knife, but it fell from his hand and floated away as the net began rising to the surface.
Rarse swam in circles, destruction all around him. He didn't know which way to go, which way to turn. "Run!" Grupt was still fighting the net, but it began floating upward faster and faster, pulled by a taut rope.
"Get to the stone arch near the walls of the city! Get out before they have you!"
And then he was gone. Too near the surface for Rarse to hear his frantic commands any longer. Too near the surface for Rarse to ever see him again.
Crying all around him, thick black liquid flooding the streets, Rarse swam through the city as fast as he could, dodging the spidery nets landing on houses and mer-people. Reaching the city gate, he looked back one more time, this was his home, where he'd lived with his father for years since his mother died. He couldn't leave the place he'd known as a child. It all seemed so abrupt and unexpected, and Rarse stayed floating on the spot. But his father's last words echoed in his mind, and he turned and swam off toward the stone arch into the vastness of the ocean without looking back.
As he swam, he heard a sound in the distance, a pleading cry. And it wasn't coming from his village. He swam faster, not noticing his shirt catching on the a spiky plant until he was tugged backwards.
Most mermen didn't wear shirts, as they clinged on to their wet skin, but Rarse felt strangely exposed swimming down the streets without one, so he'd always taken to light blue and green cloth, which had been woven from the village weavers into a fine shirt.
Rarse pulled backwards, his tail straining as it propelled him away from the plant, and the shirt snapped. Rarse groaned in disappointment before hearing the cry again. Closer. Shooting off again, he folded his ripped shirt over the tear and continued on his way.
Upon reaching the source, he quickly hid behind a large stone inwardly gasped. A shark! Peeking past the rock again, the sight took his breath away. Teeth glistening maliciously, the shark was chomping wildly and ferociously, but that wasn't what surprised him. A giant sea monster was battling the shark, his scales shining blue and green like the colors of Rarse's shirt. A Selkie was cutting spiky weeds that were trapping a Hippocampi. They succeeded quickly and the shark soon retreated.
____
Ok! Fixed. Whoever's writing the first chapter can do what they like with my character now. 

Last edited by Nomolos (2013-03-20 19:42:11)

Nomolos wrote:

destructo-serpent wrote:

hopefully this will all be easier to write and organize once the group's together

Yeah.

Hey Waffle, do you think you should stop accepting members soon? Every time someone new joins, the story gets messed up a bit because we have to include someone else.

Your the only one who has joined as a writer after we started writing? o3o
Lol

S what does everyone think of my competed chatter one part? 

She_Is_Of_Dream wrote:

Nomolos wrote:

destructo-serpent wrote:

hopefully this will all be easier to write and organize once the group's together

Yeah.

Hey Waffle, do you think you should stop accepting members soon? Every time someone new joins, the story gets messed up a bit because we have to include someone else.

Your the only one who has joined as a writer after we started writing? o3o
Lol

S what does everyone think of my competed chatter one part? 

Its good! Maybe I should do a little part after it (like, a paragraph or two) about what Epher thinks of their new teammate?

destructo-serpent wrote:

Waffle27 wrote:

She_Is_Of_Dream wrote:

Your the only one who has joined as a writer after we started writing? o3o
Lol

S what does everyone think of my competed chatter one part? 

Its good! Maybe I should do a little part after it (like, a paragraph or two) about what Epher thinks of their new teammate?

Coil seconds that 

Rarse hasn't joined the group yet so he can't third that unfortunately. 

destructo-serpent wrote:

will rarse meet the group after or before what Coil/Espher think about Amaya? if it's before, it would be better.

I'd think it should be before, but it depends on who's writing the first chapter.

Waffle27 wrote:

I personally think after would be better, and maybe Epher was so busy thinking he runs into the rock. Then it woud switch to Rarse point of veiw. But whatever you guys want.

That sounds good. 

destructo-serpent wrote:

Waffle27 wrote:

I personally think after would be better, and maybe Epher was so busy thinking he runs into the rock. Then it woud switch to Rarse point of veiw. But whatever you guys want.

or

remember how Coil has heat sensing organs in his snout? maybe when he was fighting the shark he wasn't really focusing on anything else, but now he can sense Rarse behind the rock?


i think they're both good, so i don't know.


i based those organs on a rattlesnake, and he's a sea serpent. so i'm not sure if it's OP or not.

Hm...Yeah maybe. Or Epher could run into the rock, it could switch to Rarse veiw and rarse hears Coil saying something like. "Get away from that rock. Theres a merman behind it."

Waffle27 wrote:

destructo-serpent wrote:

Waffle27 wrote:

I personally think after would be better, and maybe Epher was so busy thinking he runs into the rock. Then it woud switch to Rarse point of veiw. But whatever you guys want.

or

remember how Coil has heat sensing organs in his snout? maybe when he was fighting the shark he wasn't really focusing on anything else, but now he can sense Rarse behind the rock?


i think they're both good, so i don't know.


i based those organs on a rattlesnake, and he's a sea serpent. so i'm not sure if it's OP or not.

Hm...Yeah maybe. Or Epher could run into the rock, it could switch to Rarse veiw and rarse hears Coil saying something like. "Get away from that rock. Theres a merman behind it."

not something Coil would say. maybe like "you can come out. i know you're there."

also, i'm not sure he would know it was a merman. his organ's are like an infrared scanner, so he could see his shape. he may or may not be able to see enough through the rock to figure out what he is.

Last edited by destructo-serpent (2013-03-20 20:12:06)

Well I did say something like_______. Although thats not really similar, I guess I cant be excepted to be to  good at acting Coil, I'm not used to his type of character. Feel free to change whatever I write about him.
So...would that plan work or should we come up with something else?

Waffle27 wrote:

Well I did say something like_______. Although thats not really similar, I guess I cant be excepted to be to  good at acting Coil, I'm not used to his type of character. Feel free to change whatever I write about him.
So...would that plan work or should we come up with something else?

I don't really care.

Waffle27 wrote:

I'll start writing that part then

k 
this group/team thing is coming together fast.

Waffle27 wrote:

~There we go, written.~
Epher didn’t know what to think of their new teammate. Without knowing her story, he already felt sorrow and sympathy for the Hippocampus—Amaya, she was called. While he had been cutting the kelp surrounding her, he had almost dropped the rock several times. He didn’t know what was different about her, but it was definitely something. Who else could make his brain so cloudy, and his posture so jittery.
    He inspected the Hippocampus next to him. What was different about her? Could it be the way she was staring determinedly ahead? There was also the fact that she had been trapped, alone, when he heard her plea. And the courage she had to join a 50 foot Sea serpent. When Epher looked back on it, he felt embarrassed for being so scared to join Coil.
    “Oomph!” Epher grunted as he ran into a very solid piece of rock. Shaking his head to clear the ringing, Epher thought he heard a small sound from behind the stone. “It must’ve been my throbbing ears,” he thought to himself. “After all, stones can’t talk.”

that was fast.

  i like it 

btw: forty feet. not fifty.

Last edited by destructo-serpent (2013-03-20 20:20:40)

destructo-serpent wrote:

Waffle27 wrote:

~There we go, written.~
Epher didn’t know what to think of their new teammate. Without knowing her story, he already felt sorrow and sympathy for the Hippocampus—Amaya, she was called. While he had been cutting the kelp surrounding her, he had almost dropped the rock several times. He didn’t know what was different about her, but it was definitely something. Who else could make his brain so cloudy, and his posture so jittery.
    He inspected the Hippocampus next to him. What was different about her? Could it be the way she was staring determinedly ahead? There was also the fact that she had been trapped, alone, when he heard her plea. And the courage she had to join a 50 foot Sea serpent. When Epher looked back on it, he felt embarrassed for being so scared to join Coil.
    “Oomph!” Epher grunted as he ran into a very solid piece of rock. Shaking his head to clear the ringing, Epher thought he heard a small sound from behind the stone. “It must’ve been my throbbing ears,” he thought to himself. “After all, stones can’t talk.”

that was fast.

  i like it 

btw: forty feet. not fifty.

Yes, it was fast, i am a speedy quick writer.
Lol, joking. I was writing it while we were discussing, just in case.

Okay, i'll change it from 50 to 40 feet.