Scratch

I'd be fine with a shark attack. *Evil grin*

Sorry, Amaya, hopefully youget Coil and Epher's attention soon enough. lol

ShadowOfArt wrote:

I'd be fine with a shark attack. *Evil grin*

Sorry, Amaya, hopefully youget Coil and Epher's attention soon enough. lol

and hopefully Coil is bigger than the shark

madbunnygal wrote:

ok How is my prologue?

Great! Its shorter than the others so far (Dont know whether you are adding more or not) but thats okay it could just be one sort of section type thing

About what Shadow said, maybe you could have it at your back or something instead.

Last edited by Waffle27 (2013-03-19 22:32:03)

destructo-serpent wrote:

Waffle and Shadow, we can work on both parts at the same time, right?

Probably. I'm almost done with Epher's POV. Its pretty short, sorry, but you can add to it when you do it in your POV Dserpent. Feel free to change what Coil does and says and such.

OK, here it is. Tell me what I should improve:

Epher had only one thought in his mind as he swam away from the only home he had ever known: Survival. Moria’s voice rang in his ears: “Break free and survive!” So he would, for as long as possible. But how long would he last with no safe home to return to? With no family to watch his back?
That’s when Epher spotted the monster, a sea serpent, sheltering in a forest of kelp. Who knew how far he had swum?  Gathering all his remaining bravery, Epher approached the creature. “Hello…” he said, somewhat shyly, eyeing the meat it was tearing easily off the bones of a creature much, much, larger than Epher was.
The sea serpent looked up, stopping mid-chew, and swallowed. “What do you want?” he asked tensely.  “What's so important you need  to interrupt me from eating?"
Epher tried not to be disturbed by the tremendous swallow. Something that big could gulp him down whole. “I…was, um, wondering if you had seen any other Kelpies in this area?” he asked nervously, edging away a bit. Quickly, Epher related his story. After he was finished, the sea serpent shook his head.
“Sorry…no Kelpies around here. At least none that I've seen." Epher’s face fell. No Kelpies? Had he been the only one of Bual to survive the attack?
Backing away slowly, Epher thanked the serpent for his help, no matter how limited it had been. He turned around, and swam as quickly as he could away from the sea serpent, before it decided to take a pesky little Kelpie as its next meal.
“Hey, wait, come back!” Epher heard the serpent shout. Epher knew that trick. When he came back, he would get devoured whole, sad story or not.  “I’ve got Whale! You can have some if you want.”
Epher paused, listening to his stomach growl its consent. For a second, Epher thought: “It couldn’t hurt to grab just a quick taste? One taste didn’t kill anybody.” Suddenly, his mind decided to flicker to another event: his last full conversation with his mother. The last time he had heard her laugh, even if it wasn’t a humorous one.
“No.” Epher said, hearing his voice crack as he willed the tears to stay in his eyes. “No thank you.”
He turned again to swim away, despite the constant protests of his tummy. Suddenly, there was a sharp cry for help. “Somebody! Please, anybody, help! I’m being attacked!”

Last edited by Waffle27 (2013-03-19 23:13:22)

destructo-serpent wrote:

*thunderous applause*

i'm making Coil's POV now.

*bows humbly* Thank you, thank you!

You can change anything that Coil does, but let me know so that I can change it too

finished Coil's POV

Coil looked up from his whale at the sight of a selkie. The seal-people did not usually venture into deeper water like this. They stayed near the seashore. Coil watched warily as the selkie approached. “Hello.” It said. “what do you want?” he said tensely.” what’s so important you need to interrupt me from eating?” coil asked. “I…was, um, wondering if you had seen any other Kelpies in this area?” he asked nervously, edging away a bit. Quickly, the selkie. related his story. Coil shook his head. “Sorry, no selkies around here, at least, none I’ve seen.” Epher’s face fell. Epher then thanked Coil before turning around and swimming away. Sympathetic towards Epher, Coil called out to him. “Hey, wait, come back! I’ve got Whale! You can have some if you want.” The selkie hesitated for a moment, and then said, “No. No thank you.” He turned to swim away again, but then a scream pierced the placid, still water. “Somebody! Please, anybody, help! I’m being attacked!”

Yay!! So...what do we do now that we've finished our parts so far? Should we just rest so we dont get too far ahead?

destructo-serpent wrote:

Waffle27 wrote:

Yay!! So...what do we do now that we've finished our parts so far? Should we just rest so we dont get too far ahead?

yeah. Coil and Epher are the elite speed team 

besides, we can't really move on until everythings at this stage is done.

oh, wait. can we have two POV's for one section? should we merge them somehow?

destructo-serpent wrote:

destructo-serpent wrote:

Waffle27 wrote:

Yay!! So...what do we do now that we've finished our parts so far? Should we just rest so we dont get too far ahead?

yeah. Coil and Epher are the elite speed team 

besides, we can't really move on until everythings at this stage is done.

oh, wait. can we have two POV's for one section? should we merge them somehow?

Hm...Yah thats probably a good idea.

Waffle27 wrote:

Nomolos wrote:

My character will be Rarse. Also, do you think he can be a Selkie also? I don't know of any other cryptids to choose. 

D-Serpent, do you still have that handy dandy Sea Cryptid list?

Yay, Sea Cryptid list. 

destructo-serpent wrote:

Nomolos wrote:

Waffle27 wrote:

D-Serpent, do you still have that handy dandy Sea Cryptid list?

Yay, Sea Cryptid list. 

wikipedia has EVERYTHING

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Sea_cryptids

Lol. Actually, I just went to that page five seconds ago. I'm there now. XD

Argg. I can't choose a good one.