Scratch

How many cats does it take to switch a light bulb?
None, they can see in the dark!

Rock: Life is rough

Great idea for a thread!  Man, some of these are so PUNNY!
HUGE STUPID PUN: A man is just walking along the street, looking for a place to eat.  He walks into an Italian restaurant, but when he gets there the owners push him out because they're about to close the restaurant.  He walks into a Chinese restaurant, but the owners say they're all out of food.  After that, the man walks into a fast food place, but the food looks disgusting.  Then, he walks into a bar.  Minutes later, he is taken in an ambulance to the hospital.  Why was the man taken to a hospital?  Scroll down for the answer when you think you've figured it out.















He walked into a bar.  Not the kind that you get food from, the one that you could lift, you know?  Get it???  I'm hilarious!   

I have 10 puns somewhere - I thought they were great

I entered a contest hoping to win

unfortunately no pun in 10 did.

Here's a few:

A penguin keeps on slipping.  A person asks, "Why do you keep on slipping, penguin?"  The penguin points down.  The person says, "Oh, I see."  (Pronounced as ICY.)

Several employees are at a meeting with their boss.  The boss says, "Now, tomorrow I want you to bring in a tank of fishes with wrapping paper around their eyelids.  Goodbye."  One of the employees, a lumberjack, asks, "Why should we do that?"  The boss answers, "Because I want you to."  The lumberjack then says, "I'm going to axe you again..."  (Get it?  Ask you/Axe you?)

Knock Knock!  Who's there?  Boo!  Boo who?  Why the heck are you crying?!  (Boo hoo or boo who?  I always say boo hoo when I'm upset!)

Last edited by GEEKORAMA (2009-07-07 19:39:55)

Michael Jackson: Forever his music will Beat It in our hearts.

Here's another stupid pun that takes a long time but has extra information and could have been much shorter.  It's the biggest one yet!:
The entire alphabet lives in one house owned by a man named Quentin Smith.  Each letter is known for a certain thing.  A is amazingly smart, B is known for bad movies it's made, C is known for being completely average in school, D is known for drawing artwork, E is known for eating way too much, F is known for failing at many things, G is known for going to places all of the time, H is known for hiding from everybody, I is known for iPod producing, J is known for joking around, K is known for kicking his shoes together a lot, L is known for losing at everything, M is known for mimicking actors badly, N is known for needing a lot of comfort, O is known for opera singing, P is known for pleading for too many things, Q is known for quickly running away from everybody, R is known for reading a lot, S is known for stupid inventions, T is known for thinking before acting, U is known for ultimate frisbee playing, V is known for voting for every contestant on TV shows, W is known for wearing odd hats, X is known for x-raying everything, Y is known for yelling a lot, and Z is known for zoo toy animal selling.  One day, another man named Robert Stanton who owns a house where all of the numbers live says to Quentin Smith, "My numbers are way faster than your alphabet."  Quentin Smith replies, "No, my alphabet is way better than your numbers."  So, the two men agreed to have the alphabet and numbers race each other in a huge bet.  The race would be to start at the tallest building in the entire town.  Then, they would run three laps around the entire town, and whoever got back to the tallest building would win.  If Quentin Smith won, he would keep his alphabet and take Robert Stanton's numbers.  If Robert Stanton won, he would keep his numbers and take Quentin Smith's alphabet.  And on December 31st, the race started.  The numbers tried to push away the alphabet to no avail, and the alphabet tried to talk to the numbers and distract them to no avail.  Since they all live in a huge town, the race took a whole year.  Coming down to the final turn, the alphabet and the numbers were neck and neck.  It would have been a photo finish if the alphabet hadn't let up too soon.  Quentin Smith cried, "NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" and Robert Stanton cried, "YYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!"  After the alphabet and the numbers all sat down for a minute, Quentin Smith said, "All right, come on, my alphabet!  Let's go."  And Robert Stanton interrupted, "Whoah whoah whoah.  Don't you remember our deal?"  Quentin Smith argued, "But that was a whole year ago!"  Robert Stanton said, "Face it, Quentin Smith.  You lost the alphaBET!"

GEEKORAMA wrote:

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.  Then it hit me.

I forgot how to throw a boomerang, but soon it came back to me.

When William joined the army, he instantly disliked the phrase "fire at will."

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?  He sure was lucky it was a soft drink!

A football coach who has lost all of the players on his football team is hungry.  Since he loves to eat gumballs, he looks for a gumball machine.  The football coach looks through the entire town until he finally found a gumball machine in a  shoe store.  He put 25 cents in and waited for a gumball to come out of the machine, like it normally does.  He waited for two hours, and the gumball still didn't come out.  After three days, he finally notices a sign on the gumball machine that says the gumball machine is out of order.  The football coach screamed, "I want my quarter back!"

I like those

What do cows love to listen to?  MOOsic.

this thread is very PUNny.



:D

Last edited by DotsandStripes (2009-07-08 19:49:33)

DotsandStripes wrote:

this thread is very PUNny.



:D

Yes, and the forum script is PunBB!

- How many mathematicians are needed to change a light bulb?
- 5:
  1 changes
  2 creates equations for the spinning speed
  3 of them counts them

Or:

Women are bad programmers because they're emotional and irrational.
Man: My program doesn't work, I must have written it incorrectly
Woman: My program doesn't work, the computer must hate me. Let's go shopping!