Scratch

Sorry I wasn't able to actually give constructive criticism on this earlier; I was working.
First off, your rhythms are repetitive. I mean, really repetitive. You also don't seem to include much left-hand work — something that is vital to give a piano piece integrity — and your piece doesn't flow as well as it would if you made it more complex. Your constant rhythm is making this less like a musical story, and more like "Variations on a Theme." It goes so far as to have happy-sounding parts after the bomb has dropped, where it should change sound to something very slow and sad. The result is a bland piece. You can include more dynamic changes, DEFINITELY MORE PARTS, and rethink some of your parts and tempo chances to make it make more sense to the listener.
Furthermore, you should try to avoid cutting to only right-hand piano, except for accents (such as right after the bomb has dropped, and the listener is "looking at the destruction"). Also, for a piece that requires this much detail and changes, the only time you should ever make the most complex part be quarter- or eighth-notes is at the beginning of the "Dream" movement, where the listener has just woken up and is confused.

It needs work, but getting to 11:00 is a feat in and of itself. I'd be interested to see where you took the piece after reading this.
Happy composing! 

jvvg wrote:

I often couldn't think of a left hand part.

Left hand parts can be easy if you learn how to write them. Learn which chords can be played without accidentals in each key you're using, and be sure to check to see if the melody causes discordance (unless you want discordance, that is).

jwg wrote:

I decided that after the third "bomb", it would be better to include a short passage in F Major for some reason. I don't exactly remember why, but I think it might be to reflect confusion in the observer.

Eeeh. It doesn't reflect confusion at all. If you want confusion, major is not the way to go.

jvvg wrote:

For dynamics, I would change them more, but dynamics often glitch MuseScore, so as a result, I have to use them sparingly.

Well, I can't help you there. Just remember to add them in if you're going to make someone play this (or any other piece you write)

jvvg wrote:

For complexity, sometimes eighth notes keep it better, and if I am writing something fast or more flowing, then eighth notes flow better.

That should hold true, but you blatantly overused your pattern. It would be okay if it were for only a little bit, but it continues for the entire song.

dontbombiraq wrote:

Sorry I wasn't able to actually give constructive criticism on this earlier; I was working.
First off, your rhythms are repetitive. I mean, really repetitive. You also don't seem to include much left-hand work — something that is vital to give a piano piece integrity — and your piece doesn't flow as well as it would if you made it more complex. Your constant rhythm is making this less like a musical story, and more like "Variations on a Theme." It goes so far as to have happy-sounding parts after the bomb has dropped, where it should change sound to something very slow and sad. The result is a bland piece. You can include more dynamic changes, DEFINITELY MORE PARTS, and rethink some of your parts and tempo chances to make it make more sense to the listener.
Furthermore, you should try to avoid cutting to only right-hand piano, except for accents (such as right after the bomb has dropped, and the listener is "looking at the destruction"). Also, for a piece that requires this much detail and changes, the only time you should ever make the most complex part be quarter- or eighth-notes is at the beginning of the "Dream" movement, where the listener has just woken up and is confused.

It needs work, but getting to 11:00 is a feat in and of itself. I'd be interested to see where you took the piece after reading this.
Happy composing! 

Yeah, the left hand is important. If you play like I do, it makes all the racket.

playzooki wrote:

dontbombiraq wrote:

Sorry I wasn't able to actually give constructive criticism on this earlier; I was working.
First off, your rhythms are repetitive. I mean, really repetitive. You also don't seem to include much left-hand work — something that is vital to give a piano piece integrity — and your piece doesn't flow as well as it would if you made it more complex. Your constant rhythm is making this less like a musical story, and more like "Variations on a Theme." It goes so far as to have happy-sounding parts after the bomb has dropped, where it should change sound to something very slow and sad. The result is a bland piece. You can include more dynamic changes, DEFINITELY MORE PARTS, and rethink some of your parts and tempo chances to make it make more sense to the listener.
Furthermore, you should try to avoid cutting to only right-hand piano, except for accents (such as right after the bomb has dropped, and the listener is "looking at the destruction"). Also, for a piece that requires this much detail and changes, the only time you should ever make the most complex part be quarter- or eighth-notes is at the beginning of the "Dream" movement, where the listener has just woken up and is confused.

It needs work, but getting to 11:00 is a feat in and of itself. I'd be interested to see where you took the piece after reading this.
Happy composing! 

Yeah, the left hand is important. If you play like I do, it makes all the racket.

How do you make a racket playing piano?

CN12 wrote:

Your name is Jacob?

Yeah, why?

dontbombiraq wrote:

playzooki wrote:

dontbombiraq wrote:

Sorry I wasn't able to actually give constructive criticism on this earlier; I was working.
First off, your rhythms are repetitive. I mean, really repetitive. You also don't seem to include much left-hand work — something that is vital to give a piano piece integrity — and your piece doesn't flow as well as it would if you made it more complex. Your constant rhythm is making this less like a musical story, and more like "Variations on a Theme." It goes so far as to have happy-sounding parts after the bomb has dropped, where it should change sound to something very slow and sad. The result is a bland piece. You can include more dynamic changes, DEFINITELY MORE PARTS, and rethink some of your parts and tempo chances to make it make more sense to the listener.
Furthermore, you should try to avoid cutting to only right-hand piano, except for accents (such as right after the bomb has dropped, and the listener is "looking at the destruction"). Also, for a piece that requires this much detail and changes, the only time you should ever make the most complex part be quarter- or eighth-notes is at the beginning of the "Dream" movement, where the listener has just woken up and is confused.

It needs work, but getting to 11:00 is a feat in and of itself. I'd be interested to see where you took the piece after reading this.
Happy composing! 

Yeah, the left hand is important. If you play like I do, it makes all the racket.

How do you make a racket playing piano?

My parents have an old, out of tune piano and I use it to play Ace Öf Spades really loud with the right pedal pressed down. Also, I don't play properly. I have never had a piano lesson in my life.

playzooki wrote:

dontbombiraq wrote:

playzooki wrote:

Yeah, the left hand is important. If you play like I do, it makes all the racket.

How do you make a racket playing piano?

My parents have an old, out of tune piano and I use it to play Ace Öf Spades really loud with the right pedal pressed down. Also, I don't play properly. I have never had a piano lesson in my life.

You've mentioned your liking for Motorhead multiple times.

Firedrake969 wrote:

Gravitation wrote:

jji7skyline wrote:

I'm a bit reluctant to download a 100MB+ file, do you have a compressed mp3 version?

+1

Do you have it on youtube or something?
I'm reluctant to download anything.

No, I only have the MP3 file (which is only 5 MB now).

Agg725 wrote:

playzooki wrote:

dontbombiraq wrote:

How do you make a racket playing piano?

My parents have an old, out of tune piano and I use it to play Ace Öf Spades really loud with the right pedal pressed down. Also, I don't play properly. I have never had a piano lesson in my life.

Me neither. I can't read music, so I have to play by ear. Because of that, my family feels the urge to teach me how to read it, but I've already "written" a few songs so I don't need help.

I can read music since I take lessons for drums and cornet.