It doesn't sound like it's from the point of view of someone who's abused. I mean, I get what you're trying to convey with the whole "committed no crimes" thing, but it doesn't sound authentic.
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jackrulez wrote:
It doesn't sound like it's from the point of view of someone who's abused.
+1
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funelephant wrote:
jackrulez wrote:
It doesn't sound like it's from the point of view of someone who's abused.
+1
Tell that to my friend. I'm not the writer.
I just have to sing it.
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samid11 wrote:
funelephant wrote:
jackrulez wrote:
It doesn't sound like it's from the point of view of someone who's abused.
+1
Tell that to my friend. I'm not the writer.
I just have to sing it.
I'm pretty sure other members of bands have a general sort of "I don't really like this song" or "You should change this line" ability to give input in the writing process.
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Yeah, it does sound very, er, generic.
It sounds like what MCR haters say MCR sounds like and then they say that emo is just a label.
If your friend was abused as a child then, yeah, great (for first hand experience, I wouldn't encourage being abused as a child), but if he has no experience at all and he's just watched a commercial about it and taken that as what it's like then that just adds onto the generic-ness.
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You know what?
I'm gonna go tell my friend that we're not doing the song.
It's apparently "generic", "emo", and "too much like MCR".
Plus, she's not willing to change it for the better.
So there. It's going away.
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Well if she's not willing to change it then there's no point in making a song with her anyway, writing songs is pretty much change after change, you won't meet someone who can write a song out in one go and keep it like that.
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I think you should keep going with it. Maybe you can try to suggest editing it to your friend. It's an interesting idea, but I think it'd be a little nicer if it was reworded just slightly. Perhaps you can try to add just a little more emotion or detail or something. :3
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samid11 wrote:
You know what?
I'm gonna go tell my friend that we're not doing the song.
It's apparently "generic", "emo", and "too much like MCR".
Plus, she's not willing to change it for the better.
So there. It's going away.
Come on. When you post something on the internet and ask for feedback, don't expect everyone to love it. You asked for feedback and you got it...
I agree with what they're saying, it doesn't sound like it's from the writers heart.
If you want to cancel it, go ahead. Doesn't affect me. *shrugs*
But it would be nice if you felt happy with yourself, wouldn't it? Writing a good song would bring out self confidence, wouldn't it? So, write something from your (or your friend's I don't care who, just the writer's) heart.
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Please excuse any negative tone, but it lacks any structure or feeling. Maybe try writing about something that you truly feel passionate about? If you really want this song done, your friend needs to do it— which I mean in the sense of your friend doing it, not somebody besides you doing it. It all just sounds fake.
Last edited by maxskywalker (2012-09-22 20:30:49)
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