Scratch

Animeboy975 wrote:

Well, i'm gonna make 2 more.

My first [i'm trying to write this WITH NO GORE]

ハッピーヒルズ by Animeboy975

Hi. I'm a collage student who is in a class for kid's programming. I recently was asked a huge project for the year.

The challenge is to make a season of a cartoon for kids, than see if Nick, Cartoon Network, The Hub, or Disney Channel wants to air it.

I started on a series called Jack and Keith, about a wallaby named Keith and a koala named Jack. Keith was happy and joyful, while Jack was a bit more serious.

They were friends living in a australian forest, coming from kid's love of animated animal shows like Spongebob.

It was the day. We haven't finished the seasons, but we showed a episode. I showed my 1st episode, and the teacher was very proud. Next was a kid named Matt.

The name of this was "ハッピーヒルズ" and it started. The background was red, than blue. It was kind of creepy and eye-hurting.

It started with a lizard on a hill, with a bunny, suddenly, their necks twist, it comes creepy, with twisted sound affects in the background, such as screams.

The video was over.

The teacher gave him a fail, and we left the room. Matt was sitting on a bench near auditorium B, where we showed the project. We went to our dorms.

I went down, and played minecraft. Suddenly, i felt like ハッピーヒルズ was in my brain. It was attacking it.

Than, Matt bursted in to my dorm, and stole all my bottles of Coke. Suddenly, he was weird.

Really weird.

He went crazy, he cried alot, he acted twisted, and forced people including elementary school kids to hang out with him.

I need to do something.

Suddenly, he threw me a sheet one day.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
ハッピーヒルズ episodes:

1.愚かなトカゲ
2.楽しい時間
3.ミスターラビットのハウス
4.映画のパート1
5.映画のパート2

Goodbye, you nosey jerk.

-Matt Jackson, JOIN US
-----------------------------------------------------------------

So i know it all now.

The titles are in japanese. The 5 episodes are:
1. The Silly Lizard
2. Fun Times
3. Mr. Rabbit's House
4. Movie part 1
5. Movie part 2

I got ahold of all the tapes by sneaking into Matt's dorm and getting on his computer. Fortunantly, he made a few computer data chips.

I stole them, and ran into the elevator to the 9th floor for my dorm. I stuck them in my computer.

I started with "The Silly Lizard" [which was thesillylizard.mov on my desktop]

It was the thing Matt showed at the presintation. And the same. Now for the second episode.

I put it in my computer, with the file "funtimes.mov" and watched.

It was a background, red to blue, rinse and repeat. It was.... scary.....

It started with the lizard and a bunny, taking about "fun times" back then.

Than, it showed them dancing to what sounded like Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees. But this version.... was strange.

It was off, and it wasn't really that good, that weird disco voice in the song sounded like a typical person.

"You feelin' it, dude?" the lizard asked.

The bunny was asleep, crying on the dance floor. It got more painful, as it sounded really hurtful unlike normal people crying.

Than, the screen went black, with hurtful screams. It cut off, and the bunny had a death stare.

Next episode is "Mr. Rabbit's House" which is probably the worst one.

I chose mrrabbit'shouse.mov. The episode started with that lizard on that hill, resting on a grave. And, yes the background was turning red to blue.

The bunny wakes him up, and the lizard eats him [eww]

But that isn't the worst part.

A rabbit HITS the lizard, and the bunny is out of his mouth, covered in spit.

I don't see how ANYTHING will except this. It's almost as crude as Happy Tree Friends.

The rabbit steals the bunny, and the lizard finds him.

Than, the lizard goes to the rabbit's house. He comes in, and it's full of weapons, and the bunny is trapped on the floor.

The lizard does the same thing that the lizard did to the bunny with the rabbit.

Than the lizard has ANOTHER death stare, and says "Kids, eating is natural." and it was over.

To the movie. I selected movie.mov.

It's in Mr. Rabbit's house, and the lizard stops. A death stare appears. He looks outside.

It's a god dang strobe affect.

There's a war outside, and he goes and fights.

Then, a few minutes later, a death stare is the rest of the movie.

I got a phone call from the hospital.

"Yes. I'm Caleb Nelson. what do you need?"

"Hi. I'm Dr. Benjamin. Do you have a sister named Marie?"

"Yes i do."

"She's seriously hurt. A shady man knoced her out."

I hung up the phone now. IT HAS TO BE MATT.

I ran to his apartment. He had a history book about him.

Baby pictures, and more. Behind a recent picture, there was a red key.

It read:

"YOU HAVE FOUND IT. LOOK FOR A GOLDEN REFERGIRATOR."

I found it in his closet. In the refirgerator, there was a huge binder.

It was about him, and how his mind was messed up ever since his mom died, and wanted to turn kids into maniacs with violent programming.

I had to check up on poor old Marie. So i got in my car, and rushed to the hospital, and ran into the ER to see her.

Her face looked extremely damaged. She suddenly said painfully:

"I love you, Caleb. I'm dead, probably. It was Matt."

Matt came in the room, and messed up the room, leaving Marie twice as hurt. I set her back up, and wished for the best, than Matt hit me in the face.

"You play with your stupid happy kid's programming while i make a army of brainwashed children to take over the earth." Matt replied.

THE END

What did you think? I was really proud with it. And there was NO gore in it.

Animeboy975 wrote:

Animeboy975 wrote:

Well, i'm gonna make 2 more.

My first [i'm trying to write this WITH NO GORE]

ハッピーヒルズ by Animeboy975

Hi. I'm a collage student who is in a class for kid's programming. I recently was asked a huge project for the year.

The challenge is to make a season of a cartoon for kids, than see if Nick, Cartoon Network, The Hub, or Disney Channel wants to air it.

I started on a series called Jack and Keith, about a wallaby named Keith and a koala named Jack. Keith was happy and joyful, while Jack was a bit more serious.

They were friends living in a australian forest, coming from kid's love of animated animal shows like Spongebob.

It was the day. We haven't finished the seasons, but we showed a episode. I showed my 1st episode, and the teacher was very proud. Next was a kid named Matt.

The name of this was "ハッピーヒルズ" and it started. The background was red, than blue. It was kind of creepy and eye-hurting.

It started with a lizard on a hill, with a bunny, suddenly, their necks twist, it comes creepy, with twisted sound affects in the background, such as screams.

The video was over.

The teacher gave him a fail, and we left the room. Matt was sitting on a bench near auditorium B, where we showed the project. We went to our dorms.

I went down, and played minecraft. Suddenly, i felt like ハッピーヒルズ was in my brain. It was attacking it.

Than, Matt bursted in to my dorm, and stole all my bottles of Coke. Suddenly, he was weird.

Really weird.

He went crazy, he cried alot, he acted twisted, and forced people including elementary school kids to hang out with him.

I need to do something.

Suddenly, he threw me a sheet one day.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
ハッピーヒルズ episodes:

1.愚かなトカゲ
2.楽しい時間
3.ミスターラビットのハウス
4.映画のパート1
5.映画のパート2

Goodbye, you nosey jerk.

-Matt Jackson, JOIN US
-----------------------------------------------------------------

So i know it all now.

The titles are in japanese. The 5 episodes are:
1. The Silly Lizard
2. Fun Times
3. Mr. Rabbit's House
4. Movie part 1
5. Movie part 2

I got ahold of all the tapes by sneaking into Matt's dorm and getting on his computer. Fortunantly, he made a few computer data chips.

I stole them, and ran into the elevator to the 9th floor for my dorm. I stuck them in my computer.

I started with "The Silly Lizard" [which was thesillylizard.mov on my desktop]

It was the thing Matt showed at the presintation. And the same. Now for the second episode.

I put it in my computer, with the file "funtimes.mov" and watched.

It was a background, red to blue, rinse and repeat. It was.... scary.....

It started with the lizard and a bunny, taking about "fun times" back then.

Than, it showed them dancing to what sounded like Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees. But this version.... was strange.

It was off, and it wasn't really that good, that weird disco voice in the song sounded like a typical person.

"You feelin' it, dude?" the lizard asked.

The bunny was asleep, crying on the dance floor. It got more painful, as it sounded really hurtful unlike normal people crying.

Than, the screen went black, with hurtful screams. It cut off, and the bunny had a death stare.

Next episode is "Mr. Rabbit's House" which is probably the worst one.

I chose mrrabbit'shouse.mov. The episode started with that lizard on that hill, resting on a grave. And, yes the background was turning red to blue.

The bunny wakes him up, and the lizard eats him [eww]

But that isn't the worst part.

A rabbit HITS the lizard, and the bunny is out of his mouth, covered in spit.

I don't see how ANYTHING will except this. It's almost as crude as Happy Tree Friends.

The rabbit steals the bunny, and the lizard finds him.

Than, the lizard goes to the rabbit's house. He comes in, and it's full of weapons, and the bunny is trapped on the floor.

The lizard does the same thing that the lizard did to the bunny with the rabbit.

Than the lizard has ANOTHER death stare, and says "Kids, eating is natural." and it was over.

To the movie. I selected movie.mov.

It's in Mr. Rabbit's house, and the lizard stops. A death stare appears. He looks outside.

It's a god dang strobe affect.

There's a war outside, and he goes and fights.

Then, a few minutes later, a death stare is the rest of the movie.

I got a phone call from the hospital.

"Yes. I'm Caleb Nelson. what do you need?"

"Hi. I'm Dr. Benjamin. Do you have a sister named Marie?"

"Yes i do."

"She's seriously hurt. A shady man knoced her out."

I hung up the phone now. IT HAS TO BE MATT.

I ran to his apartment. He had a history book about him.

Baby pictures, and more. Behind a recent picture, there was a red key.

It read:

"YOU HAVE FOUND IT. LOOK FOR A GOLDEN REFERGIRATOR."

I found it in his closet. In the refirgerator, there was a huge binder.

It was about him, and how his mind was messed up ever since his mom died, and wanted to turn kids into maniacs with violent programming.

I had to check up on poor old Marie. So i got in my car, and rushed to the hospital, and ran into the ER to see her.

Her face looked extremely damaged. She suddenly said painfully:

"I love you, Caleb. I'm dead, probably. It was Matt."

Matt came in the room, and messed up the room, leaving Marie twice as hurt. I set her back up, and wished for the best, than Matt hit me in the face.

"You play with your stupid happy kid's programming while i make a army of brainwashed children to take over the earth." Matt replied.

THE END

What did you think? I was really proud with it. And there was NO gore in it.

Uhh...erm...

That was sorta...unoriginal, actually. Things I was bothered by was "death stare" and "Kids, eating is natural", and the whole pyschopatic creator thing, which just screams Happy Appy.

Constructive critiscism for you: try doing something OTHER than lost episodes, please? Its the worst genre of pasta, or scary story in general, and many people, including me, are totally sick and tired of it. So try other genres! Then perhaps you can get better at it. 

Last edited by banana500 (2012-09-02 01:23:18)

Geez, i said a page back i was gonna stop writing lost episodes for a while.

...Did anyone read mine? ;m;

Animeboy975 wrote:

Geez, i said a page back i was gonna stop writing lost episodes for a while.

Uhhh, your story sorta counted as a "lost episode".

Because it has some show--it doesn't have to real or famous or even be on TV. Because it has episodes that are supposedly "lost" and now found by the narrator.

Because the episodes are supposed to be creepy (though they thoroughly fail to do so).

banana500 wrote:

Animeboy975 wrote:

Animeboy975 wrote:

Well, i'm gonna make 2 more.

My first [i'm trying to write this WITH NO GORE]

ハッピーヒルズ by Animeboy975

Hi. I'm a collage student who is in a class for kid's programming. I recently was asked a huge project for the year.

The challenge is to make a season of a cartoon for kids, than see if Nick, Cartoon Network, The Hub, or Disney Channel wants to air it.

I started on a series called Jack and Keith, about a wallaby named Keith and a koala named Jack. Keith was happy and joyful, while Jack was a bit more serious.

They were friends living in a australian forest, coming from kid's love of animated animal shows like Spongebob.

It was the day. We haven't finished the seasons, but we showed a episode. I showed my 1st episode, and the teacher was very proud. Next was a kid named Matt.

The name of this was "ハッピーヒルズ" and it started. The background was red, than blue. It was kind of creepy and eye-hurting.

It started with a lizard on a hill, with a bunny, suddenly, their necks twist, it comes creepy, with twisted sound affects in the background, such as screams.

The video was over.

The teacher gave him a fail, and we left the room. Matt was sitting on a bench near auditorium B, where we showed the project. We went to our dorms.

I went down, and played minecraft. Suddenly, i felt like ハッピーヒルズ was in my brain. It was attacking it.

Than, Matt bursted in to my dorm, and stole all my bottles of Coke. Suddenly, he was weird.

Really weird.

He went crazy, he cried alot, he acted twisted, and forced people including elementary school kids to hang out with him.

I need to do something.

Suddenly, he threw me a sheet one day.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
ハッピーヒルズ episodes:

1.愚かなトカゲ
2.楽しい時間
3.ミスターラビットのハウス
4.映画のパート1
5.映画のパート2

Goodbye, you nosey jerk.

-Matt Jackson, JOIN US
-----------------------------------------------------------------

So i know it all now.

The titles are in japanese. The 5 episodes are:
1. The Silly Lizard
2. Fun Times
3. Mr. Rabbit's House
4. Movie part 1
5. Movie part 2

I got ahold of all the tapes by sneaking into Matt's dorm and getting on his computer. Fortunantly, he made a few computer data chips.

I stole them, and ran into the elevator to the 9th floor for my dorm. I stuck them in my computer.

I started with "The Silly Lizard" [which was thesillylizard.mov on my desktop]

It was the thing Matt showed at the presintation. And the same. Now for the second episode.

I put it in my computer, with the file "funtimes.mov" and watched.

It was a background, red to blue, rinse and repeat. It was.... scary.....

It started with the lizard and a bunny, taking about "fun times" back then.

Than, it showed them dancing to what sounded like Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees. But this version.... was strange.

It was off, and it wasn't really that good, that weird disco voice in the song sounded like a typical person.

"You feelin' it, dude?" the lizard asked.

The bunny was asleep, crying on the dance floor. It got more painful, as it sounded really hurtful unlike normal people crying.

Than, the screen went black, with hurtful screams. It cut off, and the bunny had a death stare.

Next episode is "Mr. Rabbit's House" which is probably the worst one.

I chose mrrabbit'shouse.mov. The episode started with that lizard on that hill, resting on a grave. And, yes the background was turning red to blue.

The bunny wakes him up, and the lizard eats him [eww]

But that isn't the worst part.

A rabbit HITS the lizard, and the bunny is out of his mouth, covered in spit.

I don't see how ANYTHING will except this. It's almost as crude as Happy Tree Friends.

The rabbit steals the bunny, and the lizard finds him.

Than, the lizard goes to the rabbit's house. He comes in, and it's full of weapons, and the bunny is trapped on the floor.

The lizard does the same thing that the lizard did to the bunny with the rabbit.

Than the lizard has ANOTHER death stare, and says "Kids, eating is natural." and it was over.

To the movie. I selected movie.mov.

It's in Mr. Rabbit's house, and the lizard stops. A death stare appears. He looks outside.

It's a god dang strobe affect.

There's a war outside, and he goes and fights.

Then, a few minutes later, a death stare is the rest of the movie.

I got a phone call from the hospital.

"Yes. I'm Caleb Nelson. what do you need?"

"Hi. I'm Dr. Benjamin. Do you have a sister named Marie?"

"Yes i do."

"She's seriously hurt. A shady man knoced her out."

I hung up the phone now. IT HAS TO BE MATT.

I ran to his apartment. He had a history book about him.

Baby pictures, and more. Behind a recent picture, there was a red key.

It read:

"YOU HAVE FOUND IT. LOOK FOR A GOLDEN REFERGIRATOR."

I found it in his closet. In the refirgerator, there was a huge binder.

It was about him, and how his mind was messed up ever since his mom died, and wanted to turn kids into maniacs with violent programming.

I had to check up on poor old Marie. So i got in my car, and rushed to the hospital, and ran into the ER to see her.

Her face looked extremely damaged. She suddenly said painfully:

"I love you, Caleb. I'm dead, probably. It was Matt."

Matt came in the room, and messed up the room, leaving Marie twice as hurt. I set her back up, and wished for the best, than Matt hit me in the face.

"You play with your stupid happy kid's programming while i make a army of brainwashed children to take over the earth." Matt replied.

THE END

What did you think? I was really proud with it. And there was NO gore in it.

Uhh...erm...

That was sorta...unoriginal, actually. Things I was bothered by was "death stare" and "Kids, eating is natural", and the whole pyschopatic creator thing, which just screams Happy Appy.

Constructive critiscism for you: try doing something OTHER than lost episodes, please? Its the worst genre of pasta, or scary story in general, and many people, including me, are totally sick and tired of it. So try other genres! Then perhaps you can get better at it. 

Anyone remember my Lost Episode pasta called Help Me?

Animeboy975 wrote:

Animeboy975 wrote:

Well, i'm gonna make 2 more.

My first [i'm trying to write this WITH NO GORE]

ハッピーヒルズ by Animeboy975

Hi. I'm a collage student who is in a class for kid's programming. I recently was asked a huge project for the year.

The challenge is to make a season of a cartoon for kids, than see if Nick, Cartoon Network, The Hub, or Disney Channel wants to air it.

I started on a series called Jack and Keith, about a wallaby named Keith and a koala named Jack. Keith was happy and joyful, while Jack was a bit more serious.

They were friends living in a australian forest, coming from kid's love of animated animal shows like Spongebob.

It was the day. We haven't finished the seasons, but we showed a episode. I showed my 1st episode, and the teacher was very proud. Next was a kid named Matt.

The name of this was "ハッピーヒルズ" and it started. The background was red, than blue. It was kind of creepy and eye-hurting.

It started with a lizard on a hill, with a bunny, suddenly, their necks twist, it comes creepy, with twisted sound affects in the background, such as screams.

The video was over.

The teacher gave him a fail, and we left the room. Matt was sitting on a bench near auditorium B, where we showed the project. We went to our dorms.

I went down, and played minecraft. Suddenly, i felt like ハッピーヒルズ was in my brain. It was attacking it.

Than, Matt bursted in to my dorm, and stole all my bottles of Coke. Suddenly, he was weird.

Really weird.

He went crazy, he cried alot, he acted twisted, and forced people including elementary school kids to hang out with him.

I need to do something.

Suddenly, he threw me a sheet one day.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
ハッピーヒルズ episodes:

1.愚かなトカゲ
2.楽しい時間
3.ミスターラビットのハウス
4.映画のパート1
5.映画のパート2

Goodbye, you nosey ***.

-Matt Jackson, JOIN US
-----------------------------------------------------------------

So i know it all now.

The titles are in japanese. The 5 episodes are:
1. The Silly Lizard
2. Fun Times
3. Mr. Rabbit's House
4. Movie part 1
5. Movie part 2

I got ahold of all the tapes by sneaking into Matt's dorm and getting on his computer. Fortunantly, he made a few computer data chips.

I stole them, and ran into the elevator to the 9th floor for my dorm. I stuck them in my computer.

I started with "The Silly Lizard" [which was thesillylizard.mov on my desktop]

It was the thing Matt showed at the presintation. And the same. Now for the second episode.

I put it in my computer, with the file "funtimes.mov" and watched.

It was a background, red to blue, rinse and repeat. It was.... scary.....

It started with the lizard and a bunny, taking about "fun times" back then.

Than, it showed them dancing to what sounded like Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees. But this version.... was strange.

It was off, and it wasn't really that good, that weird disco voice in the song sounded like a typical person.

"You feelin' it, dude?" the lizard asked.

The bunny was asleep, crying on the dance floor. It got more painful, as it sounded really hurtful unlike normal people crying.

Than, the screen went black, with hurtful screams. It cut off, and the bunny had a death stare.

Next episode is "Mr. Rabbit's House" which is probably the worst one.

I chose mrrabbit'shouse.mov. The episode started with that lizard on that hill, resting on a grave. And, yes the background was turning red to blue.

The bunny wakes him up, and the lizard eats him [eww]

But that isn't the worst part.

A rabbit HITS the lizard, and the bunny is out of his mouth, covered in spit.

I don't see how ANYTHING will except this. It's almost as crude as Happy Tree Friends.

The rabbit steals the bunny, and the lizard finds him.

Than, the lizard goes to the rabbit's house. He comes in, and it's full of weapons, and the bunny is trapped on the floor.

The lizard does the same thing that the lizard did to the bunny with the rabbit.

Than the lizard has ANOTHER death stare, and says "Kids, eating is natural." and it was over.

To the movie. I selected movie.mov.

It's in Mr. Rabbit's house, and the lizard stops. A death stare appears. He looks outside.

It's a god dang strobe affect.

There's a war outside, and he goes and fights.

Then, a few minutes later, a death stare is the rest of the movie.

I got a phone call from the hospital.

"Yes. I'm Caleb Nelson. what do you need?"

"Hi. I'm Dr. Benjamin. Do you have a sister named Marie?"

"Yes i do."

"She's seriously hurt. A shady man knoced her out."

I hung up the phone now. IT HAS TO BE MATT.

I ran to his apartment. He had a history book about him.

Baby pictures, and more. Behind a recent picture, there was a red key.

It read:

"YOU HAVE FOUND IT. LOOK FOR A GOLDEN REFERGIRATOR."

I found it in his closet. In the refirgerator, there was a huge binder.

It was about him, and how his mind was messed up ever since his mom died, and wanted to turn kids into maniacs with violent programming.

I had to check up on poor old Marie. So i got in my car, and rushed to the hospital, and ran into the ER to see her.

Her face looked extremely damaged. She suddenly said painfully:

"I love you, Caleb. I'm dead, probably. It was Matt."

Matt came in the room, and messed up the room, leaving Marie twice as hurt. I set her back up, and wished for the best, than Matt hit me in the face.

"You play with your stupid happy kid's programming while i make a army of brainwashed children to take over the earth." Matt replied.

THE END

What did you think? I was really proud with it. And there was NO gore in it.

Not very scary,(I barely ever get scared  by media.) but good story.

Animeboy975 wrote:

The next creepypasta i'm writing is the classic and overused but epic "creepy doll" plotline.

Hm. At least you're taking a break from lost episodes. 

Also, you mean next "story". Not "creepypasta". For the last time, its not a freaking creepypasta if it isn't SPREAD across different forums or messageboards. >.>

Slenderman Theory: Roderik Henson

Alot of you reading will know about the Slenderman - a tall humanoid that can apparently break quantum physics, something that physics-creepypasta fans have been discussing for ages. People say that Slenderman was based on a legend of a tall man who would take children in the forest and eat them. But no. The Slenderman isn't real - however, Slender sickness is. And this is how it began to spread.

A nearby asylum found a case file on Roderik Henson, a former inhabitant. He was known to drug people and eventually kill them - doesn't this sound similar to Slender sickness and Slenderman eating it's victims? At the time, there was no such thing as Slenderman - so no-one knew the two were similar. That got me thinking, what if Roderik had developed a drug which would make the victim believe that this large figure was killing them? And when they were about to die, then they'd know who was responsible.

Think of the Scarecrow in Batman Begins, he made people inhale a gas which gave them disturbing visions - so what if Roderik was inspired by that? Recently, a murderer in Colorado was inspired by the Joker to kill hundreds in a cinema - so surely this could be possible? So all I need to do is contact Roderik (he's bound to be alive) and see if he was responsible.

I contacted the asylum for the number of Roderik, but they said that he went missing days ago. I told them the situation, but they didn't believe me - I was on my own. I read on sightings of the creature and found the nearest one, the Black Forest in Germany. It was only a small drive down the motorway, and I had everything ready, a torch, some food, camping gear and - most of all, a map of the area.

I watched as night fell in the desolate forest, there was no animal noises - but deadly silence. I waited for a few minutes, turned on my torch and went to explore. I was trying to attract this creature, then find Roderick (he was bound to be close) and explain what the hell he was doing. It wasn't easy. I had to provoke the Slenderman in some way in order to lure it towards me - that's reverse psychology for prey right?

I spent a whole hour roaming the forests and making loud noises, and I decided that enough was enough and that I should head back to base. I got my map out but scrawled with black, inky writing were the words, "I'M ALWAYS WATCHING". Roderik was close, he must have switched maps with me. So, I decided to head back the way I came, in a straight direction north.

I came to my base (luckily) but saw that my supplies were taken, I had no food or water, no batteries or warmth until the next day. But when I tried to get to sleep, I was restless. What if Roderik murdered me in the night? What if the Slenderman was real and Roderik had nothing to do with it. What if all this was a coma which I was yet to wake from? It seemed pretty real though.

I did finally get to sleep though, but for only a second for I woke up hearing screaming from outside. I didn't think about what was making the scream or why, but I had to find out. I got louder as I ran towards the voice, taking no interesting in the direction I went. I was taken along paths, through clearings and along a river before the screaming stopped. And now I was lost - in the Black Forest. With the Slenderman on my tail (figure of speech).

I stopped, turned on my torch and looked for any signs of home. Then the screaming began again. But this time, it got closer. And out of nowhere, came a deformed woman, with her arm ripped off and bleeding heavily saying in her last breath,
"The Slenderman is here, and he's no joke." she fell to the ground, and didn't move a muscle. Blood still surrounded her, dying her hair red. I just stared at her in a trauma, I watched a victim die. I wasn't going to be the same.

It had been an hour or so, and the women was still lying on me, blood everywhere. I didn't want to move. I wasn't safe. My torch was dimmer than it was. I could just lie there and wait until the sun came. I thought of all the things I would be missing, my wife Greta, my sister Eve and most of all - my workfriends Jon, Handel and Vandich. Yeah, Vandich, he would always get us drunk at the bar and we'd act rowdy and stuff.

I was going to miss that, and sleeping with Greta, and going out for dinner with Greta's family and us. How we'd laugh, how we'd always discuss moving to Britain - but then remembering all the good things about Germany, I loved my life, and I didn't want it to end this way. I wanted a family, a holiday, a life well lived - I didn't want to give myself up to this Roderik fiasco - I wasn't going to let this 'Slenderman' scare me - or a mauled woman. I would go home.

I stood up, and I followed the river to the nearest path, and went along it back to wherever it led, headstrong and fearless. Then a sharp pain hit my back, and I pulled out the cause - a syringe. Slender sickness. I thought I saw Roderik for a second, dressed in black and with pale skin. I had to warn anyone else who went into the forest. I left some notes. Including the map which had ALWAYS WATCHING on, it would be helpful.

I was accomplished by all this, and then ran along the path were I was. I felt sweaty, and cold. Scared, and paranoid. But I knew that is path led somewhere, hopefully the car park where my car was parked. It was a car park, but my car wasn't there, there was 'CAR PARK East' above me on a sign, and I was parked at the western car park. There were so many cars, none were mine. But who would even go to a forest at night?

At last, I got to my car. I unlocked the car, got in and drove. I drove home. But first, I would need to head to the hospital about the drugs. Then tell my wife. And my workfriends, we would move to England, have a fresh new life. We would all be happy. Me and Greta would get new jobs, and raise a family. I was close to my home, I just had to cross the bridge and I'd be in my estate. Then I saw the Slenderman in front of me.

I was so shocked that I swurved away and my car flew off the bridge, and into the river. And I saw, that Greta watched me die. Greta, and Roderik.

END.

Opinions?

Last edited by NeilWest (2012-09-03 07:55:46)

That was actually pretty good

@NeilWest

Dude, that was great! I really loved how you put an original spin on an overused concept. Well done! 

banana500 wrote:

@NeilWest

Dude, that was great! I really loved how you put an original spin on an overused concept. Well done! 

Thanks, and while I'm in the mood:

Ash's Coma: Alternate Ending

We come to now, and Ash is exploring the new world of Black and White. For each land he fully explores, he adds a new land to his fantasy dimension, with new Pokemon and parts of his memories (disguised as people) inhabitating this land. But he realizes, that all this exploration is preventing him from his main aim - to defeat the Elite Four.

The Elite Four are the trigger to waking from his coma. The only reason he never gets to defeating them is because he enjoys his world so much, that he doesn't want to wake up yet. He can easily do so, but just wants to explore this new part of land. That's why he creates these new areas and give them nicknames like Sinnoh, etc. etc.

Sinnoh and the other region names are actually the nicknames of his friends in the real world, the friends that even in this strange fantasy, he never wants to forget. So, Mark Sinooh and Mary Johto can still be in Ash's world - and not forgotten. But one day, there is no mention of the region's name.

None. It's not visually seen. When Ash asks if he's in Johto, people say "Where?" or "Johto/Sinnoh?". He then realizes, his life in the Pokemon world has to end. He has to defeat the Elite Four, and this is the sign that he needs to, or he'll forget his friends forever.

He enters the arena, and with Pokemon ready, he begins his journey. Meanwhile, Ash's personal doctor thinks that there is no hope for Ash, that these 20 years of waiting were pointless. That he was looming closer to death, either that or his life support wasn't waking him. He would pull the switch.

As the doctor thinks of the consequences, Ash gets to the final member. Ash's mother and father come in the room, cheering Ash on. In reality, Ash's parents are trying to stop the doctor from killing him. As Ash uses Thunderbolt on the near dead oppenent's Pokemon, the doctor gets to the machine. Will the Thunderbolt hit and Ash will wake? Or will it miss and he'll enter the Dream World?

The dragon lunges to the side, but Ash's mother gives up her life to transfer the energy to the dragon all the way through her body to electrocute the dragon. The dragon and Ash's mother both die, and Ash wakes up in a startle and knocks all the equipment on her mum, knocking her out.

But this was more than a concussion, it was a coma.

Last edited by NeilWest (2012-09-03 12:12:32)

Pluroblox wrote:

New CP by me.
Haunted Busby 3D Game.
My brother and i went to garage sales to find games. I didnt find alot of games until i found a old man who had an ps1 game.... it said, bubsy 3D. He sold it 2$...  God.. can't think of a good story :C

Try putting a twist on an overused concept like NeilWest! 
Also, be sure to use good grammar when writing your stories.