Q. What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
A. I don't know, and I don't care!
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uh...
Q: Why are people from Russia fast?
A: Because the russia!
(This is not meant to be an insult. Sorry for any inconvenience.)
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Son: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Dad: Yes, why?
Son: Because I need you to sign my report card.
Last edited by gettysburg11 (2009-05-02 12:06:51)
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There are three kinds of people...those who can count, and those who can't.
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Newspaper post: "Searching for a telepath. You know how to call me."
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I once dreamt that the way to get to heaven was to climb a tall ladder. The thing was, you had to make a chalk mark on each rung for each sin you had committed. I saw ________ (insert name) coming down the ladder. I asked him why, and he said he was coming down for more chalk.
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Ok, so there's a blonde riding a horse. She's just riding along, when the horse sped up. She grabbed on to it's tail to stay up, but then it just started rocking back and forth. Just then, she fell off the horse, and her foot was caught in the stirrup. She was dragged along. When she managed to get up, she was black and blue and had a broken ankle. She thought she might die, but right then, tho store owner came out and shut of the machine.
Last edited by Oneandonly (2009-05-24 18:04:04)
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cheddargirl wrote:
Here's a science one:
Two neutral atoms were walking down the street.
Suddenly, one of them stops and says: "Wait, I think I just lost an electron!"
The other one asks: "Are you sure?"
The first one replied: "Yeah, I'm positive".
I plan to be somewhat of a scientist when I get old enough, (a physicist) so I find that pretty good!
Last edited by Oneandonly (2009-05-24 18:09:27)
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So a duck waddles into a barbaer shop and says to the barber, "Got any grapes?" The barber said, "No," so the duck walks out. An hour later, the duck waddled back in and said, "Got any grapes?" Yet again, the barber said, "No..." so the duck walks out. An hour later, the duck waddles back in again and said, "Got any grapes?" The barber yells "No! I do NOT have any grapes! If you come in again one more time, I'll nail your feet to the floor!" The duck waddles out. An hour later, the duck waddles back in and asks to the barber, "Got any nails?" "No." "Good, got any grapes?"
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i have heard that so many times but its still so funny
i can't think of any right now, so i made a really corny joke up.
What do you get when you cross a pig and skunk?
A punk
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Here's one:
Student: Teacher, would you still get mad at me if I didn't do anything?
Teacher: No, of course not!
Student: Okay, because I didn't do my homework.
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i still can't think of one
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a white person who recently moved from africa sits down at a lunch table with the stuck up girls. the first one says: "if your from africa, why are you white?"
then the next one says: "you cant go around asking people why there white!"
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You know you live in a small town when...
- The "road hog" in front of you on Main Street is a farmer's combine.
- The local phone book has only one yellow page.
- Third Street is on the edge of town.
- You leave your jacket on the back of the chair in the cafe, and when you go back the next day, it's still there, on the same chair.
- You don't signal turns because everyone knows where you're going, anyway.
- No social events can be scheduled when the school gym floor is being varnished.
- You call a wrong number and they supply you with the correct one.
- Everyone knows all the news before it's published; they just read the hometown paper to see whether the publisher got it right.
--Unknown
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Microsoft:You have questions. We have dancing papaerclips. (off a website)
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Why is crossing a road like music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat!
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There is a blondy on a railroad jumping up and down and saying "100" "100" "100" (Over and Over again.) A person came down on the side of the railroad and asked "What are you doing?" the blondy said "Jumping up and down saying 100" The person "Can I too?" The blondy "Sure." Then a train comes the blondy jumps off then gets back on while the person was ran over. After getting back on she started jumping up and down saying "101" "101" "101" ...
I didn't say it exactly than who told it to me but it got every general part Enjoy.
Last edited by Magnie (2009-05-26 08:50:03)
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Does anyone like it?
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Student:Would you tell me od for somthing i didn't do?
Teacher:Of cource not!
Student:Good.I haven't done my homework.
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That one is already mentioned.
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the yo mama jokes
including the best one: yo mama's so fat she's fat! need some ice for that burn???
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Q. What's the square root of pie?
A. Delicious!
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Two men are arguing about the height of a pole, when a blonde comes along. She takes it down, lays it flat, and measures it. After she drives away, one man says, "Classic. We ask for the height, and she gives us the length."
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Student: Would you get mad at me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: No, of course not
Student: Good, I didn't do my homework!
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