Scratch

  Sudden twist ending!
I think it's really good.  Please post the next chapter!
I'm just confused on who Tommy is and what he has to do with this, but that's the only thing I found a bit weird, everything else is great!

PlutoIsHades wrote:

  Sudden twist ending!
I think it's really good.  Please post the next chapter!
I'm just confused on who Tommy is and what he has to do with this, but that's the only thing I found a bit weird, everything else is great!

This. Normally I'm not one for animal stories, but this one is really good 

Last edited by imnotbob (2012-04-07 09:32:23)

Can I buy this book when you are done writing it? It's so good! Please post the third chapter right now! This book has a good plot, a nice twist, good sentence fluency, do I need to go on? You should get it copy-written though or else someone might steal it. It is on the internet you know. It sounds totally like a professional book. I LOVE it. I'd totally buy it. Can you send me the book when your done? Like in a word document? Get back to me as soon as you can.
From,
The great,
EPICC05
PS-You totally should be a writer when you grow up. I'd totally buy your books. You're as good as JK Rowling, or Rick Riordon, or even James Patterson! Maybe even better... anyways, I want the finished product of the book please. At least post it on scratch. Thanks! 

I like this, although it could have been a bit more descriptive. 

the vocabulary could have been a bit more mature
but that's really my only quip
and uh yeah

Epicc05 wrote:

Can I buy this book when you are done writing it? It's so good! Please post the third chapter right now! This book has a good plot, a nice twist, good sentence fluency, do I need to go on? You should get it copy-written though or else someone might steal it. It is on the internet you know. It sounds totally like a professional book. I LOVE it. I'd totally buy it. Can you send me the book when your done? Like in a word document? Get back to me as soon as you can.
From,
The great,
EPICC05
PS-You totally should be a writer when you grow up. I'd totally buy your books. You're as good as JK Rowling, or Rick Riordon, or even James Patterson! Maybe even better... anyways, I want the finished product of the book please. At least post it on scratch. Thanks! 

Thanks!    Am I really THAT great? 

Last edited by jedidiahzhu (2012-04-08 08:12:03)

Alright, all you people, here is the next chapter.

Chapter 3: The Escape with Rocco

Cassin was hiding behind a leaf when he heard a voice.

“Psst.”

Cassin whirled around to see the animal that had made the sound. It was grey with a bushy tail, not unlike a squirrel’s. It had sharp eyes, whiskers, and a black mask.

“Come with me,” the animal whispered.
“Who are you?” Cassin whispered back.
“I am Rocco the Raccoon. Come with me before somebody comes back!”

Cassin obeyed.

Rocco and Cassin both scurried across the forest ground. Just when the little squirrel thought he couldn’t possibly take another step, Rocco whispered sharply, “Quick! In here!” Then he scurried down a burrow. Cassin followed.

-------------------------------

“Make yourself comfortable as much as you can,” Rocco told Cass. “Although I suppose it isn’t really comfortable in here.
“Well,” said Cassin, who always saw the silver lining in clouds, “It’s better than the open.”
“True,” agreed Rocco. “Would you like anything to eat?”

“An acorn would be lovely, thank you,” answered the little squirrel.
“Alright; luckily I have a surplus, or we would be starving.”

Rocco tossed Cassin an acorn. With a few nibbles, it was gone.

Cassin yawned. “I’m sleepy,” he said.

“What?!” said Rocco. “Now?! The moon’s shining! A new night is about to begin!”
“Exactly my point,” replied Cassin, yawning again. “I was woken up by the alarms in the middle of the night.”
“Oh, how stupid I am!” exclaimed Rocco after pondering for a moment. “You squirrels have a strange habit of staying up during the day and sleeping at night.”
“Yes. I suppose you do the opposite.”
“Of course I do! What did you expect, me getting up in the blinding light?!” answered Rocco. “Anyway, my house doesn’t really have beds. Just find a soft place, curl up, and sleep. That’s how I do it,” added Rocco.

Cassin yawned yet again. Actually, curling up into his tail sounded like a dreamy idea right now.

So Cassin crawled over into the shadows, laid his head on his bushy tail, and in no time he was asleep.

--------------------------

“Wake up! Wake up!” A whisper was screaming into Cassin’s ear, if that was possible.
“Huh? What?” Cassin mumbled with his eyes half open. He couldn’t see much, but he could see Rocco, and he could definitely see that it was still night time. “Let me get another forty winks, Rocco.”

“No! No! They’re coming!” Rocco whispered loudly. “We have to go now!”

Cassin’s eyes shot open and he activated all of his senses. “Who’s coming?”

“Them!” Rocco hissed. “The metal animals!”

At once, Cassin jumped up. He scurried out of the burrow. Rocco was right behind him.

“Where do we go?” Cassin whispered as soon as they were out of the burrow.

“West! That’s the closest way out of the forest!”
“Which way is West?!”
“I HAVE NO IDEA!!

Quickly, Cassin glanced at the night sky, locating the North Star as quickly as possible. “West is that way,” he told Rocco, pointing to his left.

“Are you sure?”

“The only thing I’m not sure about is whether you are unsure about coming with me instead of asking if I’m not sure!”
“Wah----?” exclaimed Rocco.
“Just COME ON!!”

And they took off.

All the time, only two thoughts were in Cassin’s mind: “Don’t get off course,” and “I hope no soldiers are coming this way.”

From behind him, Cassin could hear the faint sound of growls and snarls. Enemy or friend? He didn’t know. Luckily, the sound was getting fainter and fainter.

The next thing he knew, Cassin had shot out into the opening. It was “Goodbye, trees!” and “Hello, rocks!” Because Cassin knew that West of the deciduous forest was the mountains: territory of Degas.

“Let’s hope the citizens here are friendly,” Cassin panted, out of breath.
“No kidding,” Rocco muttered.

Hmm, I'll put Chapter 4 up later.

Last edited by jedidiahzhu (2012-04-08 00:49:26)

Hey guys, thanks for all the compliments! I feel kind of embarrased now! 

I'm on Chapter 5 now, and I decided to post Chapter 4. Here goes.

Chapter 4: Hail, Emperor Degas

“What should we do?” Cassin asked.
“Let’s go warn Emperor Degas. After the Deciduous Forest, Arch will most likely strike either the mountains or the desert. And if I were him, I would attack the mountains and get some resources before entering the steaming desert.”
“True,” Cassin agreed. “Which way to the emperor?”
“Up,” Rocco replied.
“Alright then, if you say so.” said Cassin. He began scampering up the slope. He had climbed up a few yards when there was a CRACK. The foothold he was using gave way, and Cass began to fall. Luckily, his tail acted like a parachute: otherwise, he would probably have been badly hurt.

“Wait, maybe I should go first,” suggested Rocco.
“Maybe you should,” agreed the squirrel.

Rocco started climbing up the mountain slowly, testing out footholds and handholds by applying some weight onto them. “Follow me!” he called.

Cassin scurried onto the same ledges that Rocco had climbed onto.

Suddenly, a thought flashed into his mind. “Rocco,” he said, “Emperor Degas is supposed to be at the top of the mountain watching, right?”

“Right,” agreed the raccoon.

“What if he sees us and thinks that we’re intruders? He’ll send soldiers to attack us!”

Rocco froze for a moment. “I hadn’t thought of that,” he said. But a minute later he continued climbing. “We don’t really have a choice,” he answered.

Right, thought Cassin.

But it turned out that Cassin’s prediction was right.

------------------------


“Sire,” said Korari the snow leopard, “Who are those two beasts, climbing to us?”
“I don’t know,” replied Degas. “Send a cougar or two and bring them up to interrogate. They might be spies.”
“Yes, sire!”

----------------------

“Cougars! Go and get them!” Korari began shouting directions at his most elite army. They spread out and slowly moved towards Cassin and Rocco. “And don’t eat them!” Degas added. The cougars booed.

-----------------------

“Incoming: cougars!” Rocco shouted down to Cassin.
“Cougars?!” Cassin exclaimed, half terrified and half surprised. He lost his grip and slid down a few feet. A few pebbles tumbled down. He commanded himself not to look down and to keep climbing.
“I thought squirrels were supposed to be good at climbing,” Rocco muttered.
“They usually are,” Cassin sneered back, “But not when there are slippery ledges, weak handholds, and now cou-“

“Roar!!”

Before Cassin could finish the word, the cougars really did arrive. Before either of them could react, one cougar leaped at Rocco, and the other leaped at Cassin. They picked them up in their mouths and started back up to the mountain.

“Gee, thanks for the ride, man!” Cassin told the cougar whose mouth he was in. The cougar growled. Cassin decided not to test his sense of humour any more.

-------------------

Finally, the cougars arrived at the top of the mountain. The cougar that was carrying Cassin dropped him. “We found the intruders, your majesty,”

The second-in-command eyed both Cassin and Rocco, snarled, and leaped at them. He was about to pounce and tear them to pieces when Degas said, “Peace, Korari.”

The snow leopard slid to a stop. “Your Highness?”
“Let them tell me their story first. Then, if I decide that they are bad enough, you can get your meal and satisfaction.

The snow leopard glared at the two of them, as if saying, “You’d better tell him that you’re evil, or else!”

Cassin was not afraid. Taking turns with Rocco, they told the whole story about what had happened in the Deciduous Forest.
Before they were finished, Degas was already ordering cougars and wolverines to guard the mountains carefully.

“Thanks for warning us,” Degas told Cassin and Rocco. Then the emperor clapped his paws twice, and two mountain goats appeared. “Take our guests and entertain them,” Degas commanded them. The mountain goats bleated an answer that neither Rocco nor Cassin understood, but they took it as a “Yes”.

The goats directed them to a dark cave. At first, the light seemed to be disappearing. Then one of the goats butted its head onto a wall. The opening which they had came through closed, and at the same time the lights lit up. The travellers gasped in surprise.

The whole cave was sparkling with crystals, precious metals, and gems, especially sapphires and silver. Cassin and Rocco’s jaws dropped to the ground. They stood and gaped for a few minutes until the goats nudged them to keep moving.

Afterwards, they came to another part of the cave. The goats turned left; then right; then they went down a hole; then left; then up a ladder; then right; then right again.

In the end, they reached a room. Everywhere you looked there were emeralds, sapphires, rubies, and diamonds. The room itself was overlaid with silver and gold. A golden table was in the middle of the room.

The goats stamped on what seemed to be a button.

Suddenly, the part of the roof above the table slid open, and the best food started tumbling down, all served with porcelain plates.

There were sunflower seeds, grapes of a rich purple colour, mushrooms, huckleberries, cooked mice and snakes, acorns, walnuts, and a large tuna. Cassin and Rocco dug in. In twenty minutes it was all gone.

“I’m stuffed,” Cassin hiccupped.
“I can’t eat another bite,” Rocco agreed.

The mountain goats nudged them towards the door they had come in through. They went back through the Hall of Crystals and out of the cave. There they saw Emperor Degas.

“Hey there,” the dragon said.
“Um . . . .” Cassin mumbled.
“Yes?” the emperor coaxed.
“Uh . . . .”
“You have a request?”
“S-sort of . . . .”
“State it. We’ll hear you out.”
“I, uh, was just wondering. . . .”
“What?”
“I was just wondering if your Majesty could . . . possibly . . . help our kingdom out.”
“Humph!”
“I-I’m sorry, I d-didn’t m-mean any offense, but-“
“I’m not angry at you,” the emperor replied. “It’s just that . . . . I’m suspicious about Droyken.”
“Oh, you don’t need to be suspicious, your majesty,” Cassin told him. “Emperor Droyken is a good ruler, and-“
“Yes, yes, I agree. It’s just that . . . he might have had an alliance with Arch in the last battle.
“No, that’s impossible,” exclaimed Cassin. “If he had helped Arch, Arch wouldn’t have attacked him.”
“You’re wrong there. Droyken’s kingdom is full of resources, and as you know, resources are just what Arch is after. I wouldn’t be surprised if Arch backstabbed your emperor, and-“

The emperor didn’t finish what he was going to say, because just then, a mountain goat had trotted over. “Baa!”

“Are you sure it isn’t another intruder,” asked Degas.
“Baa!”
“You saw Arch himself?”
“Baa!”
“We must get prepared!”

Cassin looked at Rocco, and Rocco looked at Cassin. It seemed that the only word in Mountain Goat Language was “Baa!”

Degas turned around so that he was facing Cassin. “My spy tells me that Arch has come here, bringing three thousand metal soldiers. We will have to go fight.”

“We want to help too!” Cassin told him.
“We do?” Rocco muttered under his breath.
“No, you must stay here. It’s too dangerous for two kits.”

Although Rocco’s expression didn’t change, his fists clenched silently. Apparently, he didn’t like being called a kit.

“We must go now,” Degas said, rising into the air. “I shall return.” And he flew off.

when gf clicked
go to [computer v]
broadcast [Post story on scratch v]
wait until <not<(answer)=[]>>
broadcast [Read answer v] and wait
think [So many answers! v]
broadcast [Reply v] and wait
broadcast [write scratch blocks that you are reading right now v]
set [mouse x v] to (Submit button position)
broadcast [Click! v]

Last edited by jedidiahzhu (2012-04-08 08:20:26)

PlutoIsHades wrote:

soupoftomato wrote:

Epicc05 wrote:

JK Rowling, or Rick Riordon, or even James Patterson!

Two of these are not compliments, but for the one that is, don't over-exaggerate that much.

Maybe you should consider the fact that some people like more than one of these people's writing.

But two of them aren't any good.
Rick Riordan repeats the same plot over and over again (with several holes) and apparently a terrible editor.\
James Patterson has a bloated ego and poor characters and plot.

bananaman114 wrote:

soupoftomato wrote:

PlutoIsHades wrote:

Maybe you should consider the fact that some people like more than one of these people's writing.

But two of them aren't any good.
Rick Riordan repeats the same plot over and over again (with several holes) and apparently a terrible editor.\
James Patterson has a bloated ego and poor characters and plot.

Rowling's plot is full of holes too though 

True, some plot holes in Harry Potter too, but her good writing/characters/details makes up for that

soupoftomato wrote:

PlutoIsHades wrote:

soupoftomato wrote:

Two of these are not compliments, but for the one that is, don't over-exaggerate that much.

Maybe you should consider the fact that some people like more than one of these people's writing.

But two of them aren't any good.
Rick Riordan repeats the same plot over and over again (with several holes) and apparently a terrible editor.\
James Patterson has a bloated ego and poor characters and plot.

Don't know who James Patterson is, but I like Rick Riordan's work. Of course, everybody has their own opinion.

jedidiahzhu wrote:

Epicc05 wrote:

Can I buy this book when you are done writing it? It's so good! Please post the third chapter right now! This book has a good plot, a nice twist, good sentence fluency, do I need to go on? You should get it copy-written though or else someone might steal it. It is on the internet you know. It sounds totally like a professional book. I LOVE it. I'd totally buy it. Can you send me the book when your done? Like in a word document? Get back to me as soon as you can.
From,
The great,
EPICC05
PS-You totally should be a writer when you grow up. I'd totally buy your books. You're as good as JK Rowling, or Rick Riordon, or even James Patterson! Maybe even better... anyways, I want the finished product of the book please. At least post it on scratch. Thanks! 

Thanks!    Am I really THAT great? 

YES YES YES! Can you pretty please post the book now?
Puppy dog face --> 
Come on! You can't say no to that!