Scratch

Plot?

I could help you. Are you going for the doctor who type? Time travelling, science fiction (I love Dr.Who!) Or far distance worlds, greek/roman mythology? There is so many genres, once you pick one I reccomend you form your characters first, and the plot will unfold from their personalities. I hope my tips helped. And if you need help do not hesitate to tell me, and I will help you asap and as much as possible! Hope your story goes well with Wikimen! [Did I spell your name right?]

- Geekish

Alright uh
I don't like it but here's what I've got of Chapter 1 so far
There was more, but it was bad and I chopped it off XD


Chapter One
    The morning started just right. A soft breeze stirred the poplar trees, a few leaves of which floated off and up into the air like tiny parachutes. Jani loved the whispering noise that the trees made, and the slight crisp wind that ushered in the autumn after a long summer. She stood at the beginning of the reddish dirt path through the woods, the old stopwatch trailing from her hand. Would she get her best time today?
    She paused, counted to three, then took off running, her thick chestnut ponytail flying out behind her, her thin but wiry arms swinging in L-shapes at her sides. The air rushing into her lungs felt suddenly chilly. She loved running more than anything, the feeling of being so quick and sturdy was like flying and this year—this year!—she would be on the girls’ track team. She fantasized of arriving for her first year of high school a better, faster runner than them all, leaving her fellow ninth graders, as well as the tenth, eleventh and twelfth graders, and the ones on the boys’ team too, in the dust.
    She had not, of course, made the team in eighth grade. She had in sixth and seventh grades, but in eighth grade, Eva Powell had beat her by one spot. Ninth grade would be much, much different. Eva Powell was moving away. This year she was confident she would win.
    Jani couldn’t help but wonder, though. What if there were more kids just as fast as Eva Powell? Faster than her?
    Jani didn’t like to think of it. Those were slowing-down thoughts, heavy leaden thoughts, and she could not be weighed down by them, not now when she was running. When she ran she was a falcon, she was a jaguar, she was faster than them all…
    The cold air tore at her lungs all the way to the burbling creek she had so many summers ago dubbed the end-point of the trail. She stopped to take a swig from her bright blue canteen, brand-new, and checked her time. Yes! She was eleven seconds faster than yesterday morning. Feeling cheered, she went and took her time splashing icy water from the creek onto her face. She didn’t hurry; her parents knew where she went each morning. When she got home there would be hot coffee brewing and bacon crackling in the pan. Her stomach growled—running made her hungry. The corned-beef-and-cabbage sandwich she had brought didn’t look in the least appetizing in comparison with the thought of the aroma of bacon, hot and salty.
    She was bothered by trivial thoughts on the lazy walk home, thoughts of Eva Powell, a vegetarian. A vegetarian faster than her. Did the cholesterol in bacon make her unhealthy and slower to run? Should she stop eating meat? She didn’t think she could live without meat.
    Jani hopped the fence and continued walking up the sidewalk to the house. The newspaper still lay in the driveway where the redheaded paperboy, Luke, had thrown it earlier. Odd, she thought, and scooped it under her arm as she walked up the front path. She retrieved the house key from its place underneath a white ceramic flower pot and went inside.
    Almost at once she knew something was wrong. There was no scent of coffee and bacon, no happy breakfast-time conversation. She decided to act as though nothing were unusual. Maybe her parents had slept in? Maybe breakfast had been eaten very quickly? “Mom! I got the paper!” she called, kicking off her muddy shoes.
    “Jani?” Her younger brother Callum’s voice came from up the stairs.
    “Yeah, Cal, it’s me,” she said, feeling uncertain by his tone. “Is something wrong?”
    Callum appeared at the top of the stairwell, his face pale and frightened. “Jani, they’re gone.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “I mean they’re gone. I don’t know where Mom and Dad went, they just… they… where were you?” he added, sounding nervous and cross. This was not like Callum. He was a bit grumpy in the morning sometimes, and lighthearted more often than not, but never like this.
    “I always run in the morning. You know that.” Jani bit her lip. “You went in their room and they’re not there?”
    “Yes. The bed’s not made either. There aren’t any notes on the microwave or anywhere… I’ve been looking…,” he said, coming down the stairs quickly. “I thought you’d disappeared, too. I just woke up this morning and I was alone… and then you were late…”
    Jani felt a pang of guilt, even though in some corner of her mind she thought it was not her fault. “I’m sorry. Let’s go look for them.”
    “But I’ve been looking and looking!”
    They searched again to no avail. The house was empty except for the two of them. Jani and Callum were both old enough to be home alone, but their parents never left without telling them first.
    “It’s probably nothing,” Jani said, trying to sound certain about this. “Let’s make ourselves some breakfast and then…”
    She didn’t finish her sentence. She didn’t have the rest of it. They retreated to the kitchen, where Jani fixed vanilla yogurt and granola for them, as well as some French toast. The bacon lay untouched in the refrigerator. Callum was no help. In his distraction he spilled orange juice all over the kitchen floor. Jani, of course, had to help mop it up.
    They went about their usual summer morning activities feeling strange. Callum stayed out in the old shed, where he did a lot of his whittling. The previous summer his father had taught him to carve wood, and Callum had become quite good at it. His newest pet project was a whole wooden chess set. That morning he blundered several times and finished with many accidentally cut fingers.
    Jani kept saying to herself, “They’ll turn up.” She explained to Callum they’d probably gone grocery shopping in the morning. She didn’t tell him she had found a new, unused shopping list under the coffee-maker.
    The uncomfortable minutes slipped into hours. They ate bread and cheese for lunch. Jani called her mother’s cell phone, but only heard it ringing in the other room.
    “We should clean the house,” Jani said firmly, interrupting Callum’s video games.
    “But it’s summer,” he protested.
    “So? Think how happy Mom will be when she doesn’t have to pick up today.”
    Callum protested, but gave in eventually. They scrubbed clean the windows until they shone, dusted the frames and made the beds. Meanwhile, the hours ticked quietly by.

Last edited by Wickimen (2012-04-04 14:02:47)

I like it. I can't wait to read the whole thing!

I banged it out while mostly half-asleep
Ignore the awkward similes and crud
I'll go all OCD on it later

Basically
But that's what the typewriter's for!
...Not that I'm going to use the typewriter for this probably meh whatever

sonatina wrote:

It would be so cool if the parents were abducted or something.

I was hoping for gigantic April Fool.

Last edited by soupoftomato (2012-04-04 21:10:42)

soupoftomato wrote:

sonatina wrote:

It would be so cool if the parents were abducted or something.

I was hoping for gigantic April Fool.

Haha, yeah.
April Fool!
We ditched you guys to go party last night. But we're back now.
Best parent award.

Wickimen wrote:

Alright uh
I don't like it but here's what I've got of Chapter 1 so far
There was more, but it was bad and I chopped it off XD


Chapter One
    The morning started just right. A soft breeze stirred the poplar trees, a few leaves of which floated off and up into the air like tiny parachutes. Jani loved the whispering noise that the trees made, and the slight crisp wind that ushered in the autumn after a long summer. She stood at the beginning of the reddish dirt path through the woods, the old stopwatch trailing from her hand. Would she get her best time today?
    She paused, counted to three, then took off running, her thick chestnut ponytail flying out behind her, her thin but wiry arms swinging in L-shapes at her sides. The air rushing into her lungs felt suddenly chilly. She loved running more than anything, the feeling of being so quick and sturdy was like flying and this year—this year!—she would be on the girls’ track team. She fantasized of arriving for her first year of high school a better, faster runner than them all, leaving her fellow ninth graders, as well as the tenth, eleventh and twelfth graders, and the ones on the boys’ team too, in the dust.
    She had not, of course, made the team in eighth grade. She had in sixth and seventh grades, but in eighth grade, Eva Powell had beat her by one spot. Ninth grade would be much, much different. Eva Powell was moving away. This year she was confident she would win.
    Jani couldn’t help but wonder, though. What if there were more kids just as fast as Eva Powell? Faster than her?
    Jani didn’t like to think of it. Those were slowing-down thoughts, heavy leaden thoughts, and she could not be weighed down by them, not now when she was running. When she ran she was a falcon, she was a jaguar, she was faster than them all…
    The cold air tore at her lungs all the way to the burbling creek she had so many summers ago dubbed the end-point of the trail. She stopped to take a swig from her bright blue canteen, brand-new, and checked her time. Yes! She was eleven seconds faster than yesterday morning. Feeling cheered, she went and took her time splashing icy water from the creek onto her face. She didn’t hurry; her parents knew where she went each morning. When she got home there would be hot coffee brewing and bacon crackling in the pan. Her stomach growled—running made her hungry. The corned-beef-and-cabbage sandwich she had brought didn’t look in the least appetizing in comparison with the thought of the aroma of bacon, hot and salty.
    She was bothered by trivial thoughts on the lazy walk home, thoughts of Eva Powell, a vegetarian. A vegetarian faster than her. Did the cholesterol in bacon make her unhealthy and slower to run? Should she stop eating meat? She didn’t think she could live without meat.
    Jani hopped the fence and continued walking up the sidewalk to the house. The newspaper still lay in the driveway where the redheaded paperboy, Luke, had thrown it earlier. Odd, she thought, and scooped it under her arm as she walked up the front path. She retrieved the house key from its place underneath a white ceramic flower pot and went inside.
    Almost at once she knew something was wrong. There was no scent of coffee and bacon, no happy breakfast-time conversation. She decided to act as though nothing were unusual. Maybe her parents had slept in? Maybe breakfast had been eaten very quickly? “Mom! I got the paper!” she called, kicking off her muddy shoes.
    “Jani?” Her younger brother Callum’s voice came from up the stairs.
    “Yeah, Cal, it’s me,” she said, feeling uncertain by his tone. “Is something wrong?”
    Callum appeared at the top of the stairwell, his face pale and frightened. “Jani, they’re gone.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “I mean they’re gone. I don’t know where Mom and Dad went, they just… they… where were you?” he added, sounding nervous and cross. This was not like Callum. He was a bit grumpy in the morning sometimes, and lighthearted more often than not, but never like this.
    “I always run in the morning. You know that.” Jani bit her lip. “You went in their room and they’re not there?”
    “Yes. The bed’s not made either. There aren’t any notes on the microwave or anywhere… I’ve been looking…,” he said, coming down the stairs quickly. “I thought you’d disappeared, too. I just woke up this morning and I was alone… and then you were late…”
    Jani felt a pang of guilt, even though in some corner of her mind she thought it was not her fault. “I’m sorry. Let’s go look for them.”
    “But I’ve been looking and looking!”This seemed kinda abrupt when I read it.    Maybe he should nod silently or something. Idk. :P
    They searched again to no avail. The house was empty except for the two of them. Jani and Callum were both old enough to be home alone, but their parents never left without telling them first.
    “It’s probably nothing,” Jani said, trying to sound certain about this. “Let’s make ourselves some breakfast and then…”
    She didn’t finish her sentence. She didn’t have the rest of it. They retreated to the kitchen, where Jani fixed vanilla yogurt and granola for them, as well as some French toast. The bacon lay untouched in the refrigerator. Callum was no help. In his distraction he spilled orange juice all over the kitchen floor. Jani, of course, had to help mop it up.
    They went about their usual summer morning activities feeling strange. Callum stayed out in the old shed, where he did a lot of his whittling. The previous summer his father had taught him to carve wood, and Callum had become quite good at it. His newest pet project was a whole wooden chess set. That morning he blundered several times and finished with many accidentally cut fingers.
    Jani kept saying to herself, “They’ll turn up.” She explained to Callum they’d probably gone grocery shopping in the morning. She didn’t tell him she had found a new, unused shopping list under the coffee-maker.
    The uncomfortable minutes slipped into hours. They ate bread and cheese for lunch. Jani called her mother’s cell phone, but only heard it ringing in the other room.
    “We should clean the house,” Jani said firmly, interrupting Callum’s video games.
    “But it’s summer,” he protested.
    “So? Think how happy Mom will be when she doesn’t have to pick up today.”
    Callum protested, but gave in eventually. They scrubbed clean the windows until they shone, dusted the frames and made the beds. Meanwhile, the hours ticked quietly by.

Alright. We should probably plan the main plot and a couple of chapters out before we do anymore.    What do you think?

Wickimen wrote:

Alright coolio
On universecube or here?

Here is fine.

Wickimen wrote:

Alright so
Could you write the rest of the chapter actually?    I don't want to mess it up...
But yes, plot first

Yeah sure fine.
Okay, first: plot for the whole book.
THEN a few chapters.

Wickimen wrote:

Okay so to recap
Parents abducted by magical beings and they go to stay with their grandmother

And then a forest in their backyard is a place of magical creatures. They are being restrained in the forest by an evil...guy.