Scratch

It's good!  I'm just going to nitpick grammar and say what I think about it, if it's okay.  Grammar in red, comments in blue.
Your biggest problem was keeping the tense the same in the first two chapters.

Chapter 1 – Farm Boy
On a farm in Acens, a family lived. Their lives felt like a constant misery; robotic, some say. With daily milking, planting and collecting, the family started to become tired of life. They heard through locals that the king was assassinated, and felt unsafe. Anna and Kyle, the owners, thought they should move to Lucidia, but their child, their only child, Sylfaen disagreed.
                                                *******
In their home at sunset, fire crackling and spitting was their only warmth in these dark times. After the tragic accident of the King’s death, they became paranoid and uneasy with each tiring day. The whole family sat around the fire, Kyle and Anna constantly asked themselves if they have locked the door and windows. Sylfaen was more relaxed, as he was an only boy at the age of 11. He is one of 85% of Acens who can work magic. The fire illuminated the room, with its unknown and random turns and changes. Ooh, I like that description!
“Sylfaen, go to your room, and lock the door behind you,” his mother whispered gently. Sylfaen knew not to argue, and did so, feeling slightly worried at this moment of time. If he has no idea what's going to happen, I think he would be scared, not just worried.
Disturbingly, it was as if his mother foresaw the future. She heard the snapping of twigs and dead leaves outside, and at that point, she knew 100% that she was right. She shot up, shouting at Kyle and telling him what evil lurks outside, and telling Sylfaen to stay quiet for the next 24 hours, completely silent in fact.  She grabbed her bow, Kyle tossing his sword into the air to try to comfort himself from the inevitable. They hid behind the front door, attempting to breathe as quietly as possible, but it was if it was impossible. Sylfaen was disturbed, but he kept his promise, and was as silent as a mouse. Is Sylf peering through a keyhole?  How can he see what his parents are doing?
Chapter 2 – Lucidia’s Wrath
"THUD, THUD, THUD," was all Anna and Kyle heard for a few moments, until the front door flew until it hit a wall. Sylfaen turned and put his hand over his mouth, staring at the window. What I said before about how he's watching. Kyle slashed randomly, as Anna ran backwards, aiming down in the dust. For their luck, it seemed like novice’s at first, but it then showed that they were the toughest soldier’s in Lucidia. As silver tipped arrows glided and soared through the air, and swords slashing, Sylfaen focused his energy into a ball he was controlling, with every second, it got brighter. A roar of fury and anger was heard in the battle downstairs. Kyle jumped into the air, his sword waiting to meet a soldier’s head. He killed one of the many soldiers sent to kill Sylfaen in his rage. When it seemed to be going so well, swords were sent flying, killing both Kyle and Anna. A little too quick of a death.  Elaborate some. Sylfaen knew this, took a moment to catch his breath, backed away to the window, and released the ball of energy. The house exploded with what seemed to be blue fire engulfing it. Sylfaen was sent flying and soaring through the night sky. He knew if he was a second late, he too would have had the same fate as his parents.
                                
Chapter 3 – The Elder
Sylfaen landed on a rock, a mossy one, for that matter. He felt both enraged and furious, yet relieved. His blood boiled with vengeance from that day on. “The hunt, it’s on,” he whispered to himself repeatedly. I like the suspense this creates!
                                                ***
Morning.
Sylfaen woke from his ‘pillow’ (the mossy rock). He took a few minutes to remember his parents, tears slowly tickling him as they fell down his cheeks, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything but revenge. He screamed furiously.
He heard twigs snapping, as he quickly descended to silence. He saw an old man, he looked like a fellow mage. “Child, why do you scream?” Sylfaen stuck to his silence. He didn’t even know if this man was an Acen! The old man chuckled, “I know what you’re thinking. Don’t worry, I am an Acen also.” Sylfaen lifted his head, and stared at the elder. The elder paused, and started to read Sylfaen’s mind. He saw all that had happened that night, and he himself was even angrier with Lucidia now. “I know that you’re family is dead. I know… they have been… slain.”
“How do you know? Did you send them?”
“No, I am a mage, remember. I have the ability to read minds of people and animals.”
Sylfaen felt he could trust this man, he stood up. “Can I come with you?” he asked. That's a little too quick to go with a complete stranger, IMHO.
“Yes. I’m Damus, by the way.”

All in all, a very good story with a lot of potential!

Last edited by PlutoIsHades (2012-02-23 16:39:10)

Wickimen wrote:

Dangit, Pluto beat me to the editing! 
But yes, cool story
One thing
Sylfaen is the name of a font isn't it? 
Edit: I see a few things though, I'll add a few things in green

Teehee, I decided I liked the way you'd edited my story so I copied you.

Cool 

Wickimen wrote:

Dangit, Pluto beat me to the editing! 
But yes, cool story
One thing
Sylfaen is the name of a font isn't it? 
Edit: I see a few things though, I'll add a few things in green

bestseriffontever


And the chapters are a bit short 

Wickimen wrote:

Dangit, Pluto beat me to the editing! 
But yes, cool story
One thing
Sylfaen is the name of a font isn't it? 
Edit: I see a few things though, I'll add a few things in green

Actually, it's a font. I just looked through the font list and decided to base some characters on that XD