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#26 2012-02-20 13:30:47

Wickimen
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Registered: 2009-08-02
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

Thanks^^
I don't have any more written yet but soon


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#27 2012-02-20 13:53:34

Laternenpfahl
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Registered: 2011-06-24
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

Wickimen wrote:

Thanks^^
I don't have any more written yet but soon

Kk


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#28 2012-02-20 15:49:39

Wickimen
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Registered: 2009-08-02
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

Any critiques or anything?


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#29 2012-02-20 16:01:34

veggieman001
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Registered: 2010-02-20
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

That's great


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#30 2012-02-20 16:09:19

Wickimen
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Registered: 2009-08-02
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

Thanks  smile , any spelling/grammar etc?
...I asked as my brother randomly shouted out his to-do list


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#31 2012-02-20 16:11:46

veggieman001
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Registered: 2010-02-20
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

Wickimen wrote:

He couldn't remember anything past the age of eleven, or even if he had once been older than eleven

This sounds odd


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#32 2012-02-20 16:12:33

Wickimen
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Registered: 2009-08-02
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

It does
It'll be explained later


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#33 2012-02-21 19:46:51

luiysia
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Registered: 2011-07-05
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

hInteresting...


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#34 2012-02-21 21:17:59

Wickimen
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Registered: 2009-08-02
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

Was that hintentional


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#35 2012-02-21 22:09:58

soupoftomato
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Registered: 2009-07-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

When publishing if you are the evil type don't label chapters with numbers and everyone will wonder what happened to the first 12 chapters.


I'm glad to think that the community will always be kind and helpful, the language will always be a fun and easy way to be introduced into programming, the motto will always be: Imagine, Program, Share - Nomolos

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#36 2012-02-21 22:12:53

Wickimen
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Registered: 2009-08-02
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

Lolz^^


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#37 2012-02-21 22:24:02

soupoftomato
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

Name all the chapters after characters that have a significant gap in between their number identification.


I'm glad to think that the community will always be kind and helpful, the language will always be a fun and easy way to be introduced into programming, the motto will always be: Imagine, Program, Share - Nomolos

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#38 2012-02-21 22:26:28

Wickimen
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-08-02
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

13
29
16
Ahahah.
That'd be evil fun, but it would be hard to keep up since every chapter would have to sort of revolve around one character


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#39 2012-02-21 22:33:55

soupoftomato
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

Just simply have them play a semi-large role or have common occurrence or be introduced in that chapter.


I'm glad to think that the community will always be kind and helpful, the language will always be a fun and easy way to be introduced into programming, the motto will always be: Imagine, Program, Share - Nomolos

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#40 2012-02-21 22:38:01

Wickimen
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Registered: 2009-08-02
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

True, true


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#41 2012-02-22 19:18:29

Wickimen
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Registered: 2009-08-02
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

Installment #3, still on Chapter Uno


Eyre appeared to understand. "Really? I don't know any music notes," she said with regret.

"I... think I know a few," Will said hesitantly. He placed his hand on one page, tracing the notes and humming as he went along. The notes came to him with shocking ease, and he was amazed he had not remembered them before. He was able to figure out what the song may have sounded like--almost, almost--but it was not enough, he would need a piano just to come close.

"Hey, what's that?" Eyre's hand in its black leather glove blocked Will's view of the page. He brushed it away to see faint pencil annotations in the margins.

"It looks like someone owned it and wrote notes," he said. There were tangled masses of cursive in which the person had jotted things like, "Always get that part wrong" or "Dec 7, practice this piece for recital".

"Oh," said Eyre, clearly disappointed, but Will was fascinated. He leaned against the wall and searched for every penciled word, every dog-eared page, every strawberry jelly thumbprint. Eyre, chin propped in hand, watched him for a moment, picked up the dictionary, then grew bored and turned to the children's section of the library for something more entertaining. Neither of them heard the eight faint clangs of the Bell.

Will had been trying to decipher a careless scrawl when, rather abruptly, he noticed the empty silence. True, it had stopped raining, but it was more than that. The stomping, laughter and conversation from the Arcade had completely vanished. And that must mean...

"Eyre. Did we miss the breakfast bell?"

Eyre looked up from The BFG, startled. "We can't have."

"I think we did."

Quick as a flash, Eyre dropped The BFG and jammed the aviator's cap and goggles back over her head. Will set aside the sheet music, stuffing it onto the Shakespeare shelf. To be late for breakfast would be calling attention to themselves, and that was the last thing an Unusual would want to do.

They went quickly, breathlessly, skidding on the wet street, as though perhaps inside the library they'd become suddenly deaf to the Arcade and everybody was still there. But they had only to stare at the dingy brick facade, darkened windows and dimmed sign to know: they were late for breakfast. The rest of the community sat in the pavilion, busy with wonderful food, and never subsiding in their conversation.

The gatekeeper would be there to let them in eventually, and not showing up altogether would be worse, so they waited. Soon the gatekeeper came, his face blank at the sight of them. "Why were you late for breakfast? Everybody left the Arcade."

"We were at the library," said Eyre shortly, looking up at him. He was around fifteen, unattainable mature age it seemed to all the Usuals who had forgotten they had once been older. Will stared at the ground to avoid his blue eyes being noticed.

The vacant expression tinged on puzzlement, but he shrugged and let them in. The food was excellent, as it always was. Will barely perceived it. He was listening to the gatekeeper talk with the Administration Board on his speaker. "Yes, 13 and 29 are accounted for... Yes, they came in late, said they've been at the library. No, why?"

"What is it?" Eyre asked.

"Nothing." Will shook his head.

The afternoon came, slate-gray and dreary. Will and Eyre passed by the Arcade, with its flashing brilliant blue-and-gold light issuing from the windows, and over to the library. They paused. The door had been locked.

--Still not done with chp 1--


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#42 2012-02-22 19:19:38

veggieman001
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Registered: 2010-02-20
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

Ooooooh


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#43 2012-02-22 19:29:13

Wickimen
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-08-02
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

Oh noez


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#44 2012-02-22 19:30:01

soupoftomato
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

I should actually read this sometime instead of begging for the more interesting middle/end part spoilers.


I'm glad to think that the community will always be kind and helpful, the language will always be a fun and easy way to be introduced into programming, the motto will always be: Imagine, Program, Share - Nomolos

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#45 2012-02-22 19:31:37

Wickimen
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-08-02
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

tongue
I guess it is kind of boring in the beginning
If I gave out spoilers for everything though someone's probably going to write it while I complain about the concept being thought of, lack of character development, et cetera et cetera


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#46 2012-02-22 19:33:27

soupoftomato
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

ALRIGHT SO LIKE:
*HAVE THESE DUDES NOT KNOW WHY THEY STAY THIS WAY AND START TO QUESTION THEIR EXISTENCE

THEN HAVE IT END IN A BIG EMOTIONAL CLIMAX WHERE THEY WAKE UP IN THE LAB THEY ARE REGENERATED AT (they are normally asleep and forget the experience bro) AND ALL. THAT IS THE CLIMAX.

YEAH GO WITH THAT


I'm glad to think that the community will always be kind and helpful, the language will always be a fun and easy way to be introduced into programming, the motto will always be: Imagine, Program, Share - Nomolos

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#47 2012-02-22 19:35:42

Wickimen
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-08-02
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

They do the cell regeneration extremely quickly though, and without lab assistance (they got their DNA edited remember)
Like a lizard except really really fast, almost instantly
And stuff.
...Now this is sounding like Doctor Who.


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#48 2012-02-22 20:28:34

bananaman99
New Scratcher
Registered: 2012-02-04
Posts: 100+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

Y U No Stick With One Story? :p

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#49 2012-02-22 20:31:23

soupoftomato
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

bananaman99 wrote:

Y U No Stick With One Story? :p

Y . . . why don't you not overuse memes?


I'm glad to think that the community will always be kind and helpful, the language will always be a fun and easy way to be introduced into programming, the motto will always be: Imagine, Program, Share - Nomolos

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#50 2012-02-22 20:38:40

bananaman99
New Scratcher
Registered: 2012-02-04
Posts: 100+

Re: Excerpt of *another* scifi thing

soupoftomato wrote:

bananaman99 wrote:

Y U No Stick With One Story? :p

Y . . . why don't you not overuse memes?

I used to not overuse memes but then I got an unhelpful high school teacher and took an arrow to the knee.

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