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#26 2012-02-19 20:09:07

bananaman114
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-03-15
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

Nobody wants to read about somebody who's better then them
they want characters to either be physically weak but emotionally strong
or emotionally weak but physically strong (probably not though!)
or
relate-able but strong in every aspect

the sun still shines

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#27 2012-02-20 01:27:41

Laternenpfahl
Scratcher
Registered: 2011-06-24
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

Was a genious pyrotechnic really needed? :S

http://i46.tinypic.com/6yd4c0.png

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#28 2012-02-20 02:45:58

calebxy
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-12-31
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

Laternenpfahl wrote:

Was a genious pyrotechnic really needed? :S

Yes.  tongue

I'm making my own Doctor Who series!  big_smile  See the first episode here.
And please join Story Zone!  big_smile

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#29 2012-02-20 02:47:36

calebxy
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-12-31
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

bananaman114 wrote:

Nobody wants to read about somebody who's better then them
they want characters to either be physically weak but emotionally strong
or emotionally weak but physically strong (probably not though!)
or
relate-able but strong in every aspect

I don't care.  tongue  Now do you have any comments on the story itself?

I'm making my own Doctor Who series!  big_smile  See the first episode here.
And please join Story Zone!  big_smile

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#30 2012-02-20 04:00:28

analytic
New Scratcher
Registered: 2012-02-20
Posts: 90

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

Geniuses are usually cliched, which is why I suggest using them sparingly.
To create an interesting story, characters must be relate-able and seem human.

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#31 2012-02-20 04:03:40

calebxy
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-12-31
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

Does anyone have any comments on the actual story!?!

I'm making my own Doctor Who series!  big_smile  See the first episode here.
And please join Story Zone!  big_smile

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#32 2012-02-20 04:08:42

analytic
New Scratcher
Registered: 2012-02-20
Posts: 90

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

calebxy wrote:

Does anyone have any comments on the actual story!?!

You may like to include more description and slightly less dialogue, as the pace of the story is confusing and varied.

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#33 2012-02-20 04:59:50

calebxy
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-12-31
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

analytic wrote:

calebxy wrote:

Does anyone have any comments on the actual story!?!

You may like to include more description and slightly less dialogue, as the pace of the story is confusing and varied.

The dialogue is needed. And as I said, I haven't found much opportunity for where I can put the description.

I'm making my own Doctor Who series!  big_smile  See the first episode here.
And please join Story Zone!  big_smile

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#34 2012-02-20 12:22:11

calebxy
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-12-31
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

I've added a few paragraphs more.

I'm making my own Doctor Who series!  big_smile  See the first episode here.
And please join Story Zone!  big_smile

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#35 2012-02-20 12:45:49

majormax
Scratcher
Registered: 2008-04-06
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

Not bad, better than about 97% of the people I know (their writing-- It can't be described how horrible it is) .

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#36 2012-02-20 12:51:20

calebxy
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-12-31
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

majormax wrote:

Not bad, better than about 97% of the people I know (their writing-- It can't be described how horrible it is) .

lol; I'll take that as a compliment.  big_smile

I'm making my own Doctor Who series!  big_smile  See the first episode here.
And please join Story Zone!  big_smile

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#37 2012-02-20 14:52:27

soupoftomato
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

majormax wrote:

(their writing-- It can't be described how horrible it is) .

Wrong you are.

Everything can be described as better than My Immortal.

I'm glad to think that the community will always be kind and helpful, the language will always be a fun and easy way to be introduced into programming, the motto will always be: Imagine, Program, Share - Nomolos

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#38 2012-02-20 14:56:42

calebxy
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-12-31
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

soupoftomato wrote:

majormax wrote:

(their writing-- It can't be described how horrible it is) .

Wrong you are.

Everything can be described as better than My Immortal.

What's that?

I'm making my own Doctor Who series!  big_smile  See the first episode here.
And please join Story Zone!  big_smile

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#39 2012-02-20 14:57:24

Wickimen
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-08-02
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

calebxy wrote:

soupoftomato wrote:

majormax wrote:

(their writing-- It can't be described how horrible it is) .

Wrong you are.

Everything can be described as better than My Immortal.

What's that?

Spare yourself
Don't look it up
(It's the worst fanfic ever written just don't read it)

xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

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#40 2012-02-20 15:03:29

calebxy
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-12-31
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

Wickimen wrote:

calebxy wrote:

soupoftomato wrote:


Wrong you are.

Everything can be described as better than My Immortal.

What's that?

Spare yourself
Don't look it up
(It's the worst fanfic ever written just don't read it)

Err... ok. But what is it a fanfic of?

I'm making my own Doctor Who series!  big_smile  See the first episode here.
And please join Story Zone!  big_smile

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#41 2012-02-20 15:03:59

Wickimen
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-08-02
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

calebxy wrote:

Wickimen wrote:

calebxy wrote:


What's that?

Spare yourself
Don't look it up
(It's the worst fanfic ever written just don't read it)

Err... ok. But what is it a fanfic of?

Harry Potter

xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

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#42 2012-02-20 15:06:23

calebxy
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-12-31
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

Wickimen wrote:

calebxy wrote:

Wickimen wrote:


Spare yourself
Don't look it up
(It's the worst fanfic ever written just don't read it)

Err... ok. But what is it a fanfic of?

Harry Potter

Oh. Well I haven't read that, either.

I'm making my own Doctor Who series!  big_smile  See the first episode here.
And please join Story Zone!  big_smile

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#43 2012-02-20 15:29:05

soupoftomato
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-18
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

calebxy wrote:

Wickimen wrote:

calebxy wrote:

Err... ok. But what is it a fanfic of?

Harry Potter

Oh. Well I haven't read that, either.

I don't think it matters because she made every character in the story hordcar goffik u prepy prsun.

Last edited by soupoftomato (2012-02-20 15:29:21)

I'm glad to think that the community will always be kind and helpful, the language will always be a fun and easy way to be introduced into programming, the motto will always be: Imagine, Program, Share - Nomolos

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#44 2012-02-20 15:47:07

calebxy
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-12-31
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

soupoftomato wrote:

calebxy wrote:

Wickimen wrote:


Harry Potter

Oh. Well I haven't read that, either.

I don't think it matters because she made every character in the story hordcar goffik u prepy prsun.

Oh. Sounds good.  tongue

I'm making my own Doctor Who series!  big_smile  See the first episode here.
And please join Story Zone!  big_smile

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#45 2012-02-20 16:14:03

calebxy
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-12-31
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

I've changed the title of the story, you'll be pleased to hear. The Young Detectives Agency.  big_smile  Or I might call it The Babylon Gambit. But I think I'll just use that one for a chapter title.

I'm making my own Doctor Who series!  big_smile  See the first episode here.
And please join Story Zone!  big_smile

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#46 2012-02-20 16:15:01

Wickimen
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-08-02
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

I vote for The Babylon Gambit
Sounds more mysterious

xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

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#47 2012-02-20 22:08:36

luiysia
Scratcher
Registered: 2011-07-05
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

The Babylon Gambit is less boring-sounding.

http://i50.tinypic.com/dx00pd.gif

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#48 2012-02-21 04:29:47

calebxy
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-12-31
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

I agree. I'll go with that, then.

Last edited by calebxy (2012-02-21 04:29:53)

I'm making my own Doctor Who series!  big_smile  See the first episode here.
And please join Story Zone!  big_smile

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#49 2012-02-21 04:52:23

ProgramCAT
Scratcher
Registered: 2011-12-13
Posts: 500+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

Interesting story so far.

Programming is an art...
Goodbye, Scratch. I am leaving because of the exams coming up at our school, though I'll check the forums once or twice a week.

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#50 2012-02-21 07:21:29

calebxy
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-12-31
Posts: 1000+

Re: The Young Detectives Agency

ProgramCAT wrote:

Interesting story so far.

Thank you.  smile

I'm making my own Doctor Who series!  big_smile  See the first episode here.
And please join Story Zone!  big_smile

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