Scratch

cocolover76 · 2012-02-04 12:32:02

Genre: Realistic Fiction
Copyright (C) 2012 Cocolover76. No part of this book may be reproduced in any way. All rights reserved.
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“Do you want to bring your Plug and Plays in the car?” asked James’ mom, holding a bag with Plug and Play games in it, in the living room. She knew James liked to play games. “Yes, I like to play those, so I probably would get VERY tired without them in the car,” replied James. “I will watch more TV, and maybe put some recorded shows on a DVD for in the car.” He walked over to the dark green couch, and plopped himself down.
On the TV, he switched to channel 324, where Megamind was about to come on. He hurriedly got a blank DVD, put it in the VCR, and pressed “Record”. While the opening credits played, he got a small box, and put some of his stuff in. When he was done, he got some cheddar popcorn, and once again, plopped himself down on the couch.
As James was watching the DVD slowly finalize, it was almost bedtime. A few minutes later, the screen said, “Done finalizing.” James pressed eject on the VCR remote, and took out the DVD. He put it in an untouched CD case, and labeled it “Megamind” with a black Sharpie. Then, he ran to the upstairs bathroom. He went to the bathroom, and brushed his teeth sleepily. He went to his bedroom and climbed in bed. During the night, he tossed and turned in bed nervously.
The next day, James awoke as abruptly as a fire alarm from his dad’s Android alarm clock/smartphone. He put on his favorite Mario T-shirt and a pair of jeans, and trotted downstairs. “We’ll be moving pretty soon!” his mom said excitedly. He didn’t want to move, because he had friends here, like Olivia. “Oh, dear Olivia,” he thought sadly. Roar! The garage fan was blowing as James’ dad was loading boxes into the car.

---------------10 HOURS AND 3 DAYS LATER---------------

“WE’RE HERE!” James’ mom and dad announced. “What will we sleep on?” James asked as questioningly as a game show. “Oh,” his dad replied. “We’ll plug Walmart into the GPS and buy some cots.” After going to Walmart and buying 3 cots and 9 blankets, James waited to arrive back at the mobile home. They arrived in 3 minutes. They set up the cots, and went to bed. Before bed, James said, “I actually think I like it here.”

THE END

Freakish · 2012-02-04 12:33:29

I wouldn't call that a book.

imnotbob · 2012-02-04 12:34:33

It's OK. I don't really see any grammar there and don't think it's too well-written. Also it's more of a short story, not a book.
Plus, you can't just slap the word copyright on a story and say it's copyrighted. You have to buy rights.

slinger · 2012-02-04 12:34:59

Freakish wrote:
I wouldn't call that a book.

Yeah, more like the first couple paragraphs of a chapter tongue

Wickimen · 2012-02-04 12:35:52

Writing style is a bit choppy and it would only take up maybe one or two pages in a book

my-chemical-romance · 2012-02-04 12:37:03

imnotbob wrote:
It's OK. I don't really see any grammar there and don't think it's too well-written. Also it's more of a short story, not a book.
Plus, you can't just slap the word copyright on a story and say it's copyrighted. You have to buy rights.

Actually you just have to send an email to yourself saying that it's copyrighted by you, include a date and it's ready to use in a court case.

imnotbob · 2012-02-04 12:38:11

my-chemical-romance wrote:
imnotbob wrote:
It's OK. I don't really see any grammar there and don't think it's too well-written. Also it's more of a short story, not a book.
Plus, you can't just slap the word copyright on a story and say it's copyrighted. You have to buy rights.
Actually you just have to send an email to yourself saying that it's copyrighted by you, include a date and it's ready to use in a court case.

But it's not official copyright.

PlutoIsHades · 2012-02-04 12:39:12

Good start, but James' dialogue is a little unrealistic.

my-chemical-romance · 2012-02-04 12:40:31

imnotbob wrote:
my-chemical-romance wrote:
imnotbob wrote:
It's OK. I don't really see any grammar there and don't think it's too well-written. Also it's more of a short story, not a book.
Plus, you can't just slap the word copyright on a story and say it's copyrighted. You have to buy rights.
Actually you just have to send an email to yourself saying that it's copyrighted by you, include a date and it's ready to use in a court case.
But it's not official copyright.

Still good to use in court, and that's all that really matters, you're protecting your work from being pirated, so you can use it against people who pirated it in court.

veggieman001 wrote:
my-chemical-romance wrote:
imnotbob wrote:
It's OK. I don't really see any grammar there and don't think it's too well-written. Also it's more of a short story, not a book.
Plus, you can't just slap the word copyright on a story and say it's copyrighted. You have to buy rights.
Actually you just have to send an email to yourself saying that it's copyrighted by you, include a date and it's ready to use in a court case.
Not an email. A letter.

It can be either, as long as there's evidence that you copyrighted it before them.

Last edited by my-chemical-romance (2012-02-04 12:41:11)

veggieman001 · 2012-02-04 12:40:31

my-chemical-romance wrote:
imnotbob wrote:
It's OK. I don't really see any grammar there and don't think it's too well-written. Also it's more of a short story, not a book.
Plus, you can't just slap the word copyright on a story and say it's copyrighted. You have to buy rights.
Actually you just have to send an email to yourself saying that it's copyrighted by you, include a date and it's ready to use in a court case.

Not an email. A letter.

imnotbob · 2012-02-04 12:42:35

my-chemical-romance wrote:
imnotbob wrote:
my-chemical-romance wrote:

Actually you just have to send an email to yourself saying that it's copyrighted by you, include a date and it's ready to use in a court case.
But it's not official copyright.
Still good to use in court, and that's all that really matters, you're protecting your work from being pirated, so you can use it against people who pirated it in court.

I’ve heard about a “poor man’s copyright.” What is it?
The practice of sending a copy of your own work to yourself is sometimes called a “poor man’s copyright.” There is no provision in the copyright law regarding any such type of protection, and it is not a substitute for registration.

From here.

Last edited by imnotbob (2012-02-04 12:43:14)

my-chemical-romance · 2012-02-04 12:46:47

imnotbob wrote:
my-chemical-romance wrote:
imnotbob wrote:

But it's not official copyright.
Still good to use in court, and that's all that really matters, you're protecting your work from being pirated, so you can use it against people who pirated it in court.
I’ve heard about a “poor man’s copyright.” What is it?
The practice of sending a copy of your own work to yourself is sometimes called a “poor man’s copyright.” There is no provision in the copyright law regarding any such type of protection, and it is not a substitute for registration.

From here.

I'm not from America, it's different here, the court works differently.

imnotbob · 2012-02-04 12:48:01

my-chemical-romance wrote:
imnotbob wrote:
my-chemical-romance wrote:

Still good to use in court, and that's all that really matters, you're protecting your work from being pirated, so you can use it against people who pirated it in court.
I’ve heard about a “poor man’s copyright.” What is it?
The practice of sending a copy of your own work to yourself is sometimes called a “poor man’s copyright.” There is no provision in the copyright law regarding any such type of protection, and it is not a substitute for registration.

From here.
I'm not from America, it's different here, the court works differently.

Ah, I see. That's why we thought the other was completely wrong. Although I do believe cocolover's from America.

my-chemical-romance · 2012-02-04 12:49:32

imnotbob wrote:
my-chemical-romance wrote:
imnotbob wrote:

I’ve heard about a “poor man’s copyright.” What is it?
The practice of sending a copy of your own work to yourself is sometimes called a “poor man’s copyright.” There is no provision in the copyright law regarding any such type of protection, and it is not a substitute for registration.

From here.
I'm not from America, it's different here, the court works differently.
Ah, I see. That's why we thought the other was completely wrong. Although I do believe cocolover's from America.

Everything's different in America, I can't say much without sounding ignorant tongue

imnotbob · 2012-02-04 12:51:29

my-chemical-romance wrote:
imnotbob wrote:
my-chemical-romance wrote:

I'm not from America, it's different here, the court works differently.
Ah, I see. That's why we thought the other was completely wrong. Although I do believe cocolover's from America.
Everything's different in America, I can't say much without sounding ignorant

lol tongue

coolstuff · 2012-02-04 12:56:30

In both America and the UK (and pretty much everywhere else in the developed world), copyright law immediately protects your work the moment you create it. (This only applies if it is creative, and you didn't plagiarize it.) In the UK, without even declaring copyright, you are immediately entitled 75 years of copyright. By declaring copyright - by saying (c) 2007, or whenever you made it - you can copyright your work through the majority of the rest of the world.

So, yes, saying it's copyrighted does make it copyrighted. This applies to the United States, Canada, all of the European Union, and much, much more of the world, too.

But, this shouldn't be a discussion of copyright - I just wanted to clear up any misconceptions. Now, let's get back to the main discussion topic: the short story/book.

my-chemical-romance · 2012-02-04 13:03:05

coolstuff wrote:
In both America and the UK (and pretty much everywhere else in the developed world), copyright law immediately protects your work the moment you create it. (This only applies if it is creative, and you didn't plagiarize it.) In the UK, without even declaring copyright, you are immediately entitled 75 years of copyright. By declaring copyright - by saying (c) 2007, or whenever you made it - you can copyright your work through the majority of the rest of the world.

So, yes, saying it's copyrighted does make it copyrighted. This applies to the United States, Canada, all of the European Union, and much, much more of the world, too.

But, this shouldn't be a discussion of copyright - I just wanted to clear up any misconceptions. Now, let's get back to the main discussion topic: the short story/book.

I am now qualified to become a lawyer.

As for the story, it's pretty short, and the order of things is a little bit messed up.

RedRocker227 · 2012-02-04 13:08:36

Freakish wrote:
I wouldn't call that a book.

cocolover76 · 2012-02-04 16:16:29

PlutoIsHades wrote:
Good start, but James' dialogue is a little unrealistic.

It's based on what I said in real life a few years ago when I moved to Arizona.

cocolover76 · 2012-02-04 16:17:53

RedRocker227 wrote:
Freakish wrote:
I wouldn't call that a book.

It took me nearly 6 months to write it, and nearly 6 months of someone else who helped me's time

Animeboy975 · 2012-02-04 18:20:56

Good, but i found it a bit confusing.

PlutoIsHades · 2012-02-04 20:38:43

cocolover76 wrote:
PlutoIsHades wrote:
Good start, but James' dialogue is a little unrealistic.
It's based on what I said in real life a few years ago when I moved to Arizona.

This?

“Yes, I like to play those, so I probably would get VERY tired without them in the car,” replied James. “I will watch more TV, and maybe put some recorded shows on a DVD for in the car.”

IMHO, a more realistic dialogue would be like this:

"Yeah, I'd get pretty bored without 'em. I mean, it's such a long car ride!" replied James. "I'm gonna go watch some TV. Maybe record something for the car."

soupoftomato · 2012-02-04 21:10:37

Should be 3 days and 10 hours later, as time descends by length.

And it's not a real story is it?
There is no large conflict, as the only thoughts of doubting this is "Oh, dear Olivia" (that's my friends name thief) which no young kid is saying "dear Olivia" anytime soon, either.
I could probably write the same story better, in one day
Dialogue is completely unrealistic.

Last edited by soupoftomato (2012-02-04 21:13:01)

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archived forums

#1 2012-02-04 12:32:02

The Move To Arizona -- My Book

#2 2012-02-04 12:33:29

Re: The Move To Arizona -- My Book

#3 2012-02-04 12:34:33

Re: The Move To Arizona -- My Book

#4 2012-02-04 12:34:59

Re: The Move To Arizona -- My Book

Freakish wrote:

#5 2012-02-04 12:35:52

Re: The Move To Arizona -- My Book

#6 2012-02-04 12:37:03

Re: The Move To Arizona -- My Book

imnotbob wrote:

#7 2012-02-04 12:38:11

Re: The Move To Arizona -- My Book

my-chemical-romance wrote:

imnotbob wrote:

#8 2012-02-04 12:39:12

Re: The Move To Arizona -- My Book

#9 2012-02-04 12:40:31

Re: The Move To Arizona -- My Book

imnotbob wrote:

my-chemical-romance wrote:

imnotbob wrote:

veggieman001 wrote:

my-chemical-romance wrote:

imnotbob wrote:

#10 2012-02-04 12:40:31

Re: The Move To Arizona -- My Book

my-chemical-romance wrote:

imnotbob wrote:

#11 2012-02-04 12:42:35

Re: The Move To Arizona -- My Book

my-chemical-romance wrote:

imnotbob wrote:

my-chemical-romance wrote:

#12 2012-02-04 12:46:47

Re: The Move To Arizona -- My Book

imnotbob wrote:

my-chemical-romance wrote:

imnotbob wrote:

#13 2012-02-04 12:48:01

Re: The Move To Arizona -- My Book

my-chemical-romance wrote:

imnotbob wrote:

my-chemical-romance wrote:

#14 2012-02-04 12:49:32

Re: The Move To Arizona -- My Book

imnotbob wrote:

my-chemical-romance wrote:

imnotbob wrote:

#15 2012-02-04 12:51:29

Re: The Move To Arizona -- My Book

my-chemical-romance wrote:

imnotbob wrote:

my-chemical-romance wrote:

#16 2012-02-04 12:56:30

Re: The Move To Arizona -- My Book

#17 2012-02-04 13:03:05

Re: The Move To Arizona -- My Book

coolstuff wrote:

#18 2012-02-04 13:08:36

Re: The Move To Arizona -- My Book

Freakish wrote:

#19 2012-02-04 16:16:29

Re: The Move To Arizona -- My Book

PlutoIsHades wrote:

#20 2012-02-04 16:17:53

Re: The Move To Arizona -- My Book

RedRocker227 wrote:

Freakish wrote:

#21 2012-02-04 18:20:56

Re: The Move To Arizona -- My Book

#22 2012-02-04 20:38:43

Re: The Move To Arizona -- My Book

cocolover76 wrote:

PlutoIsHades wrote: