Scratch

A lot don't make sense and have incorrect spelling
They also have no plot
And make no sense 
Oh and grammar's a problem too

Last edited by imnotbob (2012-01-22 20:14:23)

PlutoIsHades wrote:

Nice!  I like how each tells a story in just three or four sentences.

finly someone gets it 

PlutoIsHades wrote:

Nice!  I like how each tells a story in just three or four sentences.

Telling a story in that little sentences isn't really telling a story 
Stories need plot lines.

The Thieves

Two men walked down the road, then stopped.
"Are you sure it is here?"
"Yes."
They entered a building. A few minutes later they left as sirens chased after them.

The Writing Group

As he finished reading, I dropped my notebook in shock.
"That is my story word for word!" I shouted.
BAM. Blood was everywhere.

Magic

As George put on the hat and sat on the stool, he heard a small voice in his head.
"Which one?"
By now, sweat was trickling down his forehead.
"Maybe this one...."
He wanted it to hurry up and pick.
"No, that won't do."
George hated being the center of attention.
"I know it will be..."
Yes, thought George, who was now on the edge of the stool.
"RAVENCLAW!" shouted the Sorting Hat.

Last edited by Wickimen (2012-01-22 20:17:35)

So I guess in the thief, one guy was sour. I like sweet guys better... wait, that sounded strange...

The Thiefs

Two men walked down the road, then stopped.
"Are you sure it is here?" one asked.
"Yes," replied the other.
They entered the building. A few minutes later, they're running down the street as the sound of sirens chase after them.

The Writing Group

As soon he finished reading, I dropped my notebook in shock
"That is my story word-for-word!" I shouted.
Bam!. Blood was everywhere.

Magic

As George put on the hat and sat on the stool, he heard a small voice in his head.
"Which one?" the voice said.
Sweat was trickling down George's forehead
"Maybe this one..."
George wanted it to hurry up and pick a house.
"No, that won't do."
George hated being the center of attention.
"I know! It will be..."
Yes... thought George, who was on the edge of the stool.
"RAVENCLAW!"shouted the Sorting Hat

There.

PlutoIsHades wrote:

imnotbob wrote:

PlutoIsHades wrote:

Nice!  I like how each tells a story in just three or four sentences.

Telling a story in that little sentences isn't really telling a story 
Stories need plot lines.

If you examine them, they do have plot lines.
Thieves: They steal and the police come after them.
Writing Group: Someone plagiarizes and a fight breaks out.
I don't really get the third one, but that's the way I see the first 2.  Please correct me if I'm interpreting it wrong, though.
And writing a super short story is a form of minimalism.

A plot consists of a beginning, middle, end, main character, and a setting.

Last edited by imnotbob (2012-01-22 20:23:23)

PlutoIsHades wrote:

svinnik wrote:

I got a shorter story that actually has a plot and makes sense.

For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.

Oh god.  Did the baby die?

What you think?

I think if you wrote it like this it would be better:

shiguy101 wrote:

The Thieves

Two men walked down the rode. They stopped.
"Are you sure it is here?" one asked.
"Yes," replied the other.
They entered a building. A few minutes later they left as sirens chased after them.

The Writing Group

As he finished reading I dropped my notebook in shock.
"That is my story word for word!" I shouted.
BAM. Blood was every where.

Magic

As George put on the hat and sat on the stool he heard a small voice in his head.
"Which one?" asked the voice.
By now sweat was trickling down George's forehead.
"Maybe this one..." he said.
He wanted the hat to hurry up and pick.
"No, that won't do," replied the voice.
George hated being the center of attention
"I know, it will be..."
Yes, thought George, who was on the edge of the stool.
"RAVENCLAW! "shouted the Sorting Hat

Last edited by fungirl123 (2012-01-22 20:27:50)

don't ever ever ever ever ever ever ever use the word bam

bananaman114 wrote:

don't ever ever ever ever ever ever ever use the word bam

Why not?

It could be considered very long flash fiction.

svinnik wrote:

PlutoIsHades wrote:

svinnik wrote:

I got a shorter story that actually has a plot and makes sense.

For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.

Oh god.  Did the baby die?

What you think?

I didn't even get to say goodbye! *Cry*