This is a read-only archive of the old Scratch 1.x Forums.
Try searching the current Scratch discussion forums.

#1 2011-12-22 14:00:39

Solarbuddy
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-04-14
Posts: 500+

The day the world turned into a cartoon. -Story-

http://scratch.mit.edu/projects/Solarbuddy/532929

The day the world turned into the cartoon
By Solarbuddy
Made: 5-18-09

Little Johnny young was walking along one day when he saw a drop of weird looking water he walked toward it and it landed on him!  At that very moment Johnny’s life had changed! He had turned in to a cartoon!  Whenever he touched someone they turned into a cartoon!  So Johnny tried not to touch people then a girl bumped into him she changed into one too! So Johnny and the girl talked the girl said: “hi my names doody what’s yours?”  Johnny said: “my names Johnny have you ever heard of scratch doody?” Doody said:”yeah I do it my user name is OH MAN, I forgot!” Well Johnny said Mine is solarbuddy if you are always logged on we can be friends? Doody said:”well I think im always on!”  Well we have to hide now doody because we don’t want anyone else to be a cartoon! Yeah doody said then Johnny said:”I have a better Idea since were cartoons we can jump into projects so they jumped in to a lot of projects including: duck hunt, food hunt, a lot of solarbuddy the bear stuff and more!  When they were done with that they were trapped by these gangsters they got so scared but they had pencils in their pockets so they took them out and started drawing stairs the gangsters could not climb!  So they wanted to be a team and capture bad guys the gangsters followed them they touched them so they would be cartoons!  Now the gangsters are cartoons the gangsters said:”now let’s touch everybody in the whole city! So they laughed the kids were scared what would happen if they touched the ground with their fingers so they did it and the WHOLE world and everybody on it turned into cartoons!  Now they were in big trouble they thought they would get in trouble so they thought for one day straight they said what are we going to do!?  They looked at their hands and turned to look at each other they screamed they weren’t cartoons anymore!  They looked at the cars they weren’t any more they looked at the people they weren’t any more they said:”man we wasted a whole day thinking when we could have been sleeping!” oh well at least we had fun maybe someday we’ll get rained on with the cartoon drops of rain again! So they decided to get married and they lived happily ever after!


THE END!

I was looking at my older projects, and I found this.  big_smile
My reaction after reading this:
0_0
Original Project:
http://scratch.mit.edu/projects/Solarbuddy/532929

I'm a lot better at writing now. XD


http://bit.ly/Vn3zid
                  View my latest project

Offline

 

#2 2011-12-22 14:24:09

Dinoclor
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-06-10
Posts: 1000+

Re: The day the world turned into a cartoon. -Story-

The good:
Original story
Great Idea
The bad:
Too many exclamation marks.
Wall Of Text
Needs capitals in the right places.

Ideas that could help:
Fix the bad stuff
Show, not tell.

I would love to see this when it's done!


This is a temporary signature. It will exist until I think of something witty.

Offline

 

#3 2011-12-22 14:39:04

Earthboundjeff
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-09-28
Posts: 1000+

Re: The day the world turned into a cartoon. -Story-

It thought it was the day the music died...


https://encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR1SONrHUmdKZXQNDgtN_vpycOOo-BDMfnlqHZRA1lMpYXhX7Jc

Offline

 

#4 2011-12-22 15:16:34

Solarbuddy
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-04-14
Posts: 500+

Re: The day the world turned into a cartoon. -Story-

Dinoclor wrote:

The good:
Original story
Great Idea
The bad:
Too many exclamation marks.
Wall Of Text
Needs capitals in the right places.

Ideas that could help:
Fix the bad stuff
Show, not tell.

I would love to see this when it's done!

I know all that stuff now.  tongue
I made this a long time ago.  big_smile


http://bit.ly/Vn3zid
                  View my latest project

Offline

 

Board footer