Animeboy975 wrote:
Chill Grill and Fletcher's Family Center were my favorite stories I wrote.
Both are really good.
Don't say that about things you wrote!
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Animeboy975 wrote:
I give you guys a present. Since its October tommorow, a new story of mine will be released every Friday.
@banana: What about the one I wrote when I was in Michigan that you said was really good? (Chill Grill)
Chill Grill and Fletcher's Family Center were my favorite stories I wrote.
Both are really good.
Yeah, Chill Grill was the one I really liked. Though the name seriously reminded me of That's So Raven.
soupoftomato wrote:
Animeboy975 wrote:
Chill Grill and Fletcher's Family Center were my favorite stories I wrote.
Both are really good.Don't say that about things you wrote!
Aw come on, man, don't you think that was a little insulting? I'm not defending his stories or anything (because most of them aren't very good, no offense Animeboy), but still.
Last edited by banana500 (2012-09-30 12:45:15)
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banana500 wrote:
Animeboy975 wrote:
I give you guys a present. Since its October tommorow, a new story of mine will be released every Friday.
@banana: What about the one I wrote when I was in Michigan that you said was really good? (Chill Grill)
Chill Grill and Fletcher's Family Center were my favorite stories I wrote.
Both are really good.Yeah, Chill Grill was the one I really liked. Though the name seriously reminded me of That's So Raven.
soupoftomato wrote:
Animeboy975 wrote:
Chill Grill and Fletcher's Family Center were my favorite stories I wrote.
Both are really good.Don't say that about things you wrote!
Aw come on, man, don't you think that was a little insulting? I'm not defending his stories or anything (because most of them aren't very good, no offense Animeboy), but still.
I was not meaning, to insult anyone. I won't post here until Friday, with a new story
I just wanted to point out my favorites i wrote.
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Animeboy975 wrote:
banana500 wrote:
Animeboy975 wrote:
I give you guys a present. Since its October tommorow, a new story of mine will be released every Friday.
@banana: What about the one I wrote when I was in Michigan that you said was really good? (Chill Grill)
Chill Grill and Fletcher's Family Center were my favorite stories I wrote.
Both are really good.Yeah, Chill Grill was the one I really liked. Though the name seriously reminded me of That's So Raven.
soupoftomato wrote:
Don't say that about things you wrote!Aw come on, man, don't you think that was a little insulting? I'm not defending his stories or anything (because most of them aren't very good, no offense Animeboy), but still.
I was not meaning, to insult anyone. I won't post here until Friday, with a new story
I just wanted to point out my favorites i wrote.
No, I was talking to Soup.
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banana500 wrote:
Animeboy975 wrote:
banana500 wrote:
Animeboy975 wrote:
I give you guys a present. Since its October tommorow, a new story of mine will be released every Friday.
@banana: What about the one I wrote when I was in Michigan that you said was really good? (Chill Grill)
Chill Grill and Fletcher's Family Center were my favorite stories I wrote.
Both are really good.Yeah, Chill Grill was the one I really liked. Though the name seriously reminded me of That's So Raven.
Aw come on, man, don't you think that was a little insulting? I'm not defending his stories or anything (because most of them aren't very good, no offense Animeboy), but still.I was not meaning, to insult anyone. I won't post here until Friday, with a new story
I just wanted to point out my favorites i wrote.No, I was talking to Soup.
banana500 wrote:
No, I was talking to Soup.
banana500 wrote:
I was talking to Soup.
banana500 wrote:
talking to Soup.
banana500 wrote:
Soup.
I can't take that seriously. I know he's a user, but when someone says they're talking to soup, I break out into a mile-wide grin.
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Guys, stop the fight, i was stating a personal opinion.
Are there ANY good MC pasta?
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banana500 wrote:
soupoftomato wrote:
Animeboy975 wrote:
Chill Grill and Fletcher's Family Center were my favorite stories I wrote.
Both are really good.Don't say that about things you wrote!
Aw come on, man, don't you think that was a little insulting? I'm not defending his stories or anything (because most of them aren't very good, no offense Animeboy), but still.
Dude, I write all the time. But I never really think what I've written is good without feedback. It's just like, sort of, stuck-up or egomaniacal to assume anyone else will like it.
I didn't mean, "Don't say that about stuff YOU WROTE" as in "Everything he writes sucks" but more "It comes off as rude when you say stuff like that"
Last edited by soupoftomato (2012-09-30 15:43:50)
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soupoftomato wrote:
banana500 wrote:
soupoftomato wrote:
Don't say that about things you wrote!Aw come on, man, don't you think that was a little insulting? I'm not defending his stories or anything (because most of them aren't very good, no offense Animeboy), but still.
Dude, I write all the time. But I never really think what I've written is good without feedback. It's just like, sort of, stuck-up or egomaniacal to assume anyone else will like it.
I didn't mean, "Don't say that about stuff YOU WROTE" as in "Everything he writes sucks" but more "It comes off as rude when you say stuff like that"
that makes sense.
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soupoftomato wrote:
banana500 wrote:
soupoftomato wrote:
Don't say that about things you wrote!Aw come on, man, don't you think that was a little insulting? I'm not defending his stories or anything (because most of them aren't very good, no offense Animeboy), but still.
Dude, I write all the time. But I never really think what I've written is good without feedback. It's just like, sort of, stuck-up or egomaniacal to assume anyone else will like it.
I didn't mean, "Don't say that about stuff YOU WROTE" as in "Everything he writes sucks" but more "It comes off as rude when you say stuff like that"
I said they were my favorites of what I wrote. There's TONS of good stories here.
As sami said, end the flamewar.
HINT FOR MY NEW PASTA COMING 10/5:
Laughs from the backyard.....
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samid11 wrote:
...Flame war, much?
"flame war" is arguing on a much grander scale
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soupoftomato wrote:
banana500 wrote:
soupoftomato wrote:
Don't say that about things you wrote!Aw come on, man, don't you think that was a little insulting? I'm not defending his stories or anything (because most of them aren't very good, no offense Animeboy), but still.
Dude, I write all the time. But I never really think what I've written is good without feedback. It's just like, sort of, stuck-up or egomaniacal to assume anyone else will like it.
I didn't mean, "Don't say that about stuff YOU WROTE" as in "Everything he writes sucks" but more "It comes off as rude when you say stuff like that"
Ah, okay. That clears things up, I guess. I must've seen it in a different way then.
All right, end the argument, and everyone start posting some gosh-darn stories!
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alldaykade28471 wrote:
GameHutSoftware wrote:
A guy died. The end.
Holy cow, dude. That is way to scary for the Scratch website. This is for kids. Now I'm gonna have nightmares forever, bro!
dude...that's not real creepy...,I'll show you real creepy...
I like cookies
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777w wrote:
AvatarAang4 wrote:
777w wrote:
first of all, im pretty sure if youre ignorant then youre the "grasshopper"
second, enderman is an enemy from the game "minecraft"
hes based on the popular character "slenderman"Does he look like a minecraft version of slenderman
no he looks like this
http://www.minecraftwiki.net/images/thu … normal.png
yeah, well what does slenderman look like,... huh, huuh!?!?!?!?!?
(I seriously don't know what slendermen looks like,..,
so please post a link.).
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opiegs wrote:
777w wrote:
AvatarAang4 wrote:
Does he look like a minecraft version of slenderman
no he looks like this
http://www.minecraftwiki.net/images/thu … normal.pngyeah, well what does slenderman look like,... huh, huuh!?!?!?!?!?
(I seriously don't know what slendermen looks like,..,
so please post a link.).
just look up "slenderman"
by the way this is for discussing usermade stuff and slenderman wasnt invented by anybody here
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777w wrote:
just look up "slenderman"
by the way this is for discussing usermade stuff and slenderman wasnt invented by anybody here
I believe it was made on the SomethingAwful forums...right?
EDIT: Sorry I really shouldn't keep derailing this topic.
Last edited by Lightseeker (2012-10-04 19:36:00)
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Let's get back on topic, shall we?
I have one called "The Stickman". Sorry if it has some cliches...
I love to draw stickmen and stickwomen. They're pretty cool, but here I am, about to tell you my worst time with stickpeople...
A summer storm was going on, and I was in my room, just carelessy drawing stickpeople. I drew this one that looked a little bad. It had very crooked arms and legs.
But then...was that arm moving? I took a look closer. It really was. I wasn't imagining.
Then it muffled "no hope". Have I gone insane? Then it said "You, me..." What did he mean? I tried to ripped the paper, but no, it only hurt my fingers. I thought "That's weird. Every other time I rip the paper, it usually rips." I had no choice but to throw the paper out the window. I was curious. Would he ever come back?
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Nodog438 wrote:
Let's get back on topic, shall we?
I have one called "The Stickman". Sorry if it has some cliches...
I love to draw stickmen and stickwomen. They're pretty cool, but here I am, about to tell you my worst time with stickpeople...
A summer storm was going on, and I was in my room, just carelessy drawing stickpeople. I drew this one that looked a little bad. It had very crooked arms and legs.
But then...was that arm moving? I took a look closer. It really was. I wasn't imagining.
Then it muffled "no hope". Have I gone insane? Then it said "You, me..." What did he mean? I tried to ripped the paper, but no, it only hurt my fingers. I thought "That's weird. Every other time I rip the paper, it usually rips." I had no choice but to throw the paper out the window. I was curious. Would he ever come back?
Meh. Kinda bad. Uses overused themes. But I can't do any better.
2/10
No offense.
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weegeeissparta wrote:
Nodog438 wrote:
Let's get back on topic, shall we?
I have one called "The Stickman". Sorry if it has some cliches...
I love to draw stickmen and stickwomen. They're pretty cool, but here I am, about to tell you my worst time with stickpeople...
A summer storm was going on, and I was in my room, just carelessy drawing stickpeople. I drew this one that looked a little bad. It had very crooked arms and legs.
But then...was that arm moving? I took a look closer. It really was. I wasn't imagining.
Then it muffled "no hope". Have I gone insane? Then it said "You, me..." What did he mean? I tried to ripped the paper, but no, it only hurt my fingers. I thought "That's weird. Every other time I rip the paper, it usually rips." I had no choice but to throw the paper out the window. I was curious. Would he ever come back?Meh. Kinda bad. Uses overused themes. But I can't do any better.
2/10
No offense.
It should be at least 4/10. I mean, it doesn't have any "suddenly popped out of nowhere" stuff or "hyper realistic ____" or "then he grew eyes" stuff.
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Nodog438 wrote:
Let's get back on topic, shall we?
I have one called "The Stickman". Sorry if it has some cliches...
I love to draw stickmen and stickwomen. They're pretty cool, but here I am, about to tell you my worst time with stickpeople...
A summer storm was going on, and I was in my room, just carelessy drawing stickpeople. I drew this one that looked a little bad. It had very crooked arms and legs.
But then...was that arm moving? I took a look closer. It really was. I wasn't imagining.
Then it muffled "no hope". Have I gone insane? Then it said "You, me..." What did he mean? I tried to ripped the paper, but no, it only hurt my fingers. I thought "That's weird. Every other time I rip the paper, it usually rips." I had no choice but to throw the paper out the window. I was curious. Would he ever come back?
That sadly wasn't very good.
But don't feel horrible. My first attempt was way worse than this.
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soupoftomato wrote:
Animeboy975 wrote:
Chill Grill and Fletcher's Family Center were my favorite stories I wrote.
Both are really good.Don't say that about things you wrote!
for future reference its better to say "im most proud of these" rather that "there are my favorite"
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Nodog438 wrote:
weegeeissparta wrote:
Nodog438 wrote:
Let's get back on topic, shall we?
I have one called "The Stickman". Sorry if it has some cliches...
I love to draw stickmen and stickwomen. They're pretty cool, but here I am, about to tell you my worst time with stickpeople...
A summer storm was going on, and I was in my room, just carelessy drawing stickpeople. I drew this one that looked a little bad. It had very crooked arms and legs.
But then...was that arm moving? I took a look closer. It really was. I wasn't imagining.
Then it muffled "no hope". Have I gone insane? Then it said "You, me..." What did he mean? I tried to ripped the paper, but no, it only hurt my fingers. I thought "That's weird. Every other time I rip the paper, it usually rips." I had no choice but to throw the paper out the window. I was curious. Would he ever come back?Meh. Kinda bad. Uses overused themes. But I can't do any better.
2/10
No offense.It should be at least 4/10. I mean, it doesn't have any "suddenly popped out of nowhere" stuff or "hyper realistic ____" or "then he grew eyes" stuff.
No, I think that is is a 2/10. A story doesn't have to be cliched to be bad, you know. The plot was uninteresting, it lacked any real depth, and it was overall, well, bad. No offense, though. You could look at some real creepypastas for example, and maybe get some inspiration? You should try again next time.
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Here's an attempt at a horror story. Also, please note that this is my very first time trying a second-person narrative. Plus, this may seem a bit sacreligious to some people, and I don't mean to start a flame war or anything. So if you don't want to read it, well, don't read it. And please don't bug me with all these angry comments.
Anyways, here's the lovely story.
LOST SOULS
You open your eyes to find yourself in a dark, gray corridor. In front of you are many other people, standing in a straight single-file line leading to somewhere. You crane your neck to try and see where this line goes, but you can't.
A blinding fog permeates the corridor, slithering about the walls and your body. You feel the stench of the fog strangle and twist your throat, and your face contorts with disgust. You look at your hands to see that they are slowly beginning to turn into a sickly pale color. The skin begins to shrivel up, almost as if it were shrinking, until it is clinging on to nothing but your bones. You feel these effects coming upon your face as well.
The line moves relatively fast. You try to open your mouth to say something, but you can't make a sound. More people behind you begin to suddenly materialize from green dust. Their faces show expressions of fright, fear, and terror.
"Where am I?" you think to yourself. "How did I get here?" You can only recollect the faintest of memories. A loud, deafening screech. The sudden force of something ramming itself into your car. The explosive flames that burned and licked itself on your fragile, lifeless, blood-covered body.
Finally you find yourself at the front of this line. In front of you is a man standing behind a small desk. His facial features are gaunt and horribly pale, almost completely white. He has no eyelids, exposing almost all of his bloodshot eyeballs. His skin is stretched and pulled back behind him, as if it were tied by a knot at the back of his head. He has no lips, simply a horizontal slit for a mouth. He has only the tiniest strands of white hair sprouting from his wrinkled scalp.
And now you are able to speak.
"Where am I?" you say, with worry. "I don't think I belong here..."
The man behind the desk snickers His mouth begins to curl and stretch to form a toothless, crooked smile. "What makes you say that, son?" His voice is low and gravelly.
"All I can remember is...an explosion. My car, completely toppled over, to the side. I could see my blood almost everywhere."
"Ah, yes," the man chuckles. "Most newcomers can't exactly cope with the inevitable reality of..."
"Of what?" you interrupt.
"Of death."
It is now that you notice a portal appear behind the man. The portal is dark red, with scarlet lightning and smoke spitting out of it. Horrifying screams echo from within, making you cringe with terror.
"I'm...I'm...dead?"
The man simply continues to smile at you. Then he stands up and reached his bony hand towards you. He grabs your shoulder with an iron grip. "Come with me."
"No--no! Let go!" You try to break free, but the man's grip is too strong. He turns to the portal and drags you by the shoulder towards it. Finally he lets you go.
"What is this?" you ask helplessly. "Where are you taking me?"
The man's gaze turns to you. His red eyes seem as if they are burning into your soul. His never-ending grin stretched farther until it went all the way across his face, in a way that you'd never think was possible.
And then, with one swift shove, you fall back into the red portal. The smoke starts to wrap itself around you, keeping you tightly secured, pulling you in further until there is no chance of escape. The red clouds begin to expand, and the small hole that bridges the gap between the corridor and this horrible wormhole starts to shrink. You only hear one last thing from the man before you join the billions of lost souls in a place full of strife, of pain, of suffering...
"Welcome to Hell. Enjoy your stay."
Last edited by banana500 (2012-10-04 22:56:58)
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cant you just tell people not to read it
highlighting it is annoying :P
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