Scratch

samid11 wrote:

wolvesstar97 wrote:

samid11 wrote:

"Daisyville"

Ok, anybody who has a young sibling will know the name "Daisyville" ANYWHERE. It's a rather cute and entertaining childrens show featuring colourful and cute anthropmorphic animals who teach kids about dealing with problems in life. It's surprisingly entertaining, not to mention quite serious, too.  The main characters are Jumpy, a stripey orange cat, Reggie, a blue dalmatian, Rascal, a purple raccoon, Jay, a bluejay, and Piper, a cute pink chipmunk. All of them have realistic personalaties, and are altogether loveable characters. However, there is one problem with the show.

Many parents say it is too adult-like and serious.

I will admit this is true, as the show features lifelike and occasionally disturbing scenes/situations, such as characters getting injured and requiring medical procedures, characters losing relatives, and even an episode where it is heavily implied that Rascal's parents are divorcing. The episodes have been taken off air multiple times, and they are quite emotional and deeply heartbreaking.

The one most people know best is the episode "Duck and Cover".

Taken off air immidiately after the first (and only) airing of the episode, "Duck and Cover" was an episode that focused on a highly disturbing subject: an escaped criminal is announced to be lurking in the neighborhood in which the sugar-coated characters live. Here is a somewhat brief (and far less disturbing) summary of the epsiode:

Jumpy and his friends are at Jay's house watching the TV, flipping through the channels. Reggie suggests that they watch the news, as it is useful for finding out more about the day. With that settled, they switch it to the local news. The TV begins blairing a loud siren, causing them to jump in fear. Large letters on the screen read "ESCAPED CRIMINAL LOOSE IN DAISYVILLE." as an announcer explains that a criminal named Ruffles has escaped the county prison, describing in great detail that he is very dangerous and that everyone is advised to lock their windows and doors, and to hide no matter what. Terror-struck, the friends lock all the windows and doors, turn off all the lights, and hide in the basement.

This is where things get scary.

We see the friends huddled together in the darkness of the damp basement. They are trembling and scared, whimpering as shiny tears fall from their eyes. Piper tries to make the situation better, stating "We're safe, everyone. The house is locked up, and so are we. We followed the instructions and we're ok now!" in a calm, gentle tone.  However, the scene takes a turn for the worse, as we hear footsteps above them. They squeal in fear, but immidiately cover their mouthes, as they were too loud. The footsteps suddenly halt when they finish squealing, and slowly begin again, coming closer to the basement door by the second. The animals huddle together in fright. Rascal suddenly becomes wide-eyed, staring directly into the camera with a blood-chilling stare.

"We didn't lock the basement door."

Immidiately after he speaks, the door begins to creak open. It is then that we see the reason the episode was taken off-air.

Through the cracked-open door, a face is visible. It is not an animal, however. It isn't even a cartoon. It's a photo of a grown man's face. His stubble-coated face is shaded in the darkness, but disturbing details are visible. His eyes are wide and bloodshot, and his mouth is twisted into a horrid grin. To make matters worse, the picture is distorted horribly, and he looks like some terrible creature from the deepest depths of the uncanny valley.

The group of cuddly characters immidiately go as silent and still as possible. The strange face-like thing looks around, but doesn't see them and walks back up into the house. We hear loud noises in the house above, then we hear the front door slam.

The furry critters, after waiting for some time and hearing nothing more, walk upstairs into the house. The whole place is trashed and things are missing, but the TV remains. They quickly rush over and turn it on, revealing a news broadcast that Ruffles (the criminal) has been caught outside their house. Police come into the house as the broadcast ends, carrying the stolen belongings. They rush over to comfort the traumatized furries, and soon afterward question them about what happenned.

The episode closes with Reggie looking at the camera and stating "Remember, kids. If there is an emergency involving a dangerous adult, ALWAYS do as you're told. It may save your lives."

There is one last thing I would like to state about the episode, though.

It was aired on March 23, 2001. The date that cameras were recovered from an escaped murderer that had broken into a children's television studio. He had taken the cameras and filmed something into the episode. Unaware that this had happenned, the crew aired the completed episode thinking it was part of the scene. However, you know the scene where the basement door opens?

It was the criminal entering a victims basement.

(All done! What do you think?)

Pretty good! I like how its not super cliche for pastas about kids shows.

Thanks! I tried to make a twist that I haven't seen before.

Ohh...nice!!! It is really good!

samid11 wrote:

zbugni wrote:

samid11 wrote:

"Daisyville"

Ok, anybody who has a young sibling will know the name "Daisyville" ANYWHERE. It's a rather cute and entertaining childrens show featuring colourful and cute anthropmorphic animals who teach kids about dealing with problems in life. It's surprisingly entertaining, not to mention quite serious, too.  The main characters are Jumpy, a stripey orange cat, Reggie, a blue dalmatian, Rascal, a purple raccoon, Jay, a bluejay, and Piper, a cute pink chipmunk. All of them have realistic personalaties, and are altogether loveable characters. However, there is one problem with the show.

Many parents say it is too adult-like and serious.

I will admit this is true, as the show features lifelike and occasionally disturbing scenes/situations, such as characters getting injured and requiring medical procedures, characters losing relatives, and even an episode where it is heavily implied that Rascal's parents are divorcing. The episodes have been taken off air multiple times, and they are quite emotional and deeply heartbreaking.

The one most people know best is the episode "Duck and Cover".

Taken off air immidiately after the first (and only) airing of the episode, "Duck and Cover" was an episode that focused on a highly disturbing subject: an escaped criminal is announced to be lurking in the neighborhood in which the sugar-coated characters live. Here is a somewhat brief (and far less disturbing) summary of the epsiode:

Jumpy and his friends are at Jay's house watching the TV, flipping through the channels. Reggie suggests that they watch the news, as it is useful for finding out more about the day. With that settled, they switch it to the local news. The TV begins blairing a loud siren, causing them to jump in fear. Large letters on the screen read "ESCAPED CRIMINAL LOOSE IN DAISYVILLE." as an announcer explains that a criminal named Ruffles has escaped the county prison, describing in great detail that he is very dangerous and that everyone is advised to lock their windows and doors, and to hide no matter what. Terror-struck, the friends lock all the windows and doors, turn off all the lights, and hide in the basement.

This is where things get scary.

We see the friends huddled together in the darkness of the damp basement. They are trembling and scared, whimpering as shiny tears fall from their eyes. Piper tries to make the situation better, stating "We're safe, everyone. The house is locked up, and so are we. We followed the instructions and we're ok now!" in a calm, gentle tone.  However, the scene takes a turn for the worse, as we hear footsteps above them. They squeal in fear, but immidiately cover their mouthes, as they were too loud. The footsteps suddenly halt when they finish squealing, and slowly begin again, coming closer to the basement door by the second. The animals huddle together in fright. Rascal suddenly becomes wide-eyed, staring directly into the camera with a blood-chilling stare.

"We didn't lock the basement door."

Immidiately after he speaks, the door begins to creak open. It is then that we see the reason the episode was taken off-air.

Through the cracked-open door, a face is visible. It is not an animal, however. It isn't even a cartoon. It's a photo of a grown man's face. His stubble-coated face is shaded in the darkness, but disturbing details are visible. His eyes are wide and bloodshot, and his mouth is twisted into a horrid grin. To make matters worse, the picture is distorted horribly, and he looks like some terrible creature from the deepest depths of the uncanny valley.

The group of cuddly characters immidiately go as silent and still as possible. The strange face-like thing looks around, but doesn't see them and walks back up into the house. We hear loud noises in the house above, then we hear the front door slam.

The furry critters, after waiting for some time and hearing nothing more, walk upstairs into the house. The whole place is trashed and things are missing, but the TV remains. They quickly rush over and turn it on, revealing a news broadcast that Ruffles (the criminal) has been caught outside their house. Police come into the house as the broadcast ends, carrying the stolen belongings. They rush over to comfort the traumatized furries, and soon afterward question them about what happenned.

The episode closes with Reggie looking at the camera and stating "Remember, kids. If there is an emergency involving a dangerous adult, ALWAYS do as you're told. It may save your lives."

There is one last thing I would like to state about the episode, though.

It was aired on March 23, 2001. The date that cameras were recovered from an escaped murderer that had broken into a children's television studio. He had taken the cameras and filmed something into the episode. Unaware that this had happenned, the crew aired the completed episode thinking it was part of the scene. However, you know the scene where the basement door opens?

It was the criminal entering a victims basement.

(All done! What do you think?)

Great!  But the end where it says 'you know the scene where the door opens?'  Seems kind of awkward and unprofessional.  Other than that, it's AWESOME.

Well, I was trying to write from the perspective of a fan.

I think that its actually better than the official "scary kids shows" pastas, such as Happy Appy or Candle cove.

wolvesstar97 wrote:

samid11 wrote:

zbugni wrote:

Great!  But the end where it says 'you know the scene where the door opens?'  Seems kind of awkward and unprofessional.  Other than that, it's AWESOME.

Well, I was trying to write from the perspective of a fan.

I think that its actually better than the official "scary kids shows" pastas, such as Happy Appy or Candle cove.

i dont think creepypastas can be "official" :P
and this is fairly good but i still think candle cove is better

The Script

My name is Katy Hawk. I live a normal life as a camerawoman (it isn't just men). Besides that, we were filming for a new horror film called, 'Cursed II'. It was on a particularly snowy day when our director vanished. We had searched all over for him. We checked the lounge, the set, the dressing room, but he was nowhere.

Seriously.

He had vanished without a trace.

I had to take some serious action. Despite our strict orders, we knew we'd have to search his own room. We took a deep breath, and stepped inside. It wasn't as we imagined. The mirror was scratched and the chairs were tipped over and some where even broken. And there was blood. Alot of it.

Then I saw a script.

It was marked, 'Cursed II: Unedited'.

I gave it to the police officer who was with us and he said that they would study it for any clues to his disappearance. We thought that we could be one step closer to finding out where the director was so we could finish this movie and get on with our lives in peace and harmony.

We couldn't.

The following day, it became worldwide news.

Every single police officer which was on the case was murdered. But no-one could trace the killer, because they were scared. People suggested they were poisoned, but no negative substances where found in them. Others suggested that they were strangled, but no fingerprints could be found.

They came to a conclusion.

They were all scared to death.

But who had scared them? It was a simple answer which had to be answered. Could it have been the director? Could it have been a completely different person? And how could they have been so horrifying, that they killed a whole squad of police officers? I set out on this fatal investigation, alone.

I shouldn't have.

I should've known.

I began where all investigations start, the scene. In this case, the director's office. I checked every inch of floor, ceiling and the walls. Then every single storage area, hidden compartment (there were none) and mysterious crack (also none). I had no luck, until I found a note which had the message on it:

Booker in doom. LMY

That was wierd.

Or another clue. I knew that the director's full name was Lionel Young (Lionel Michael Young), so at least that was just his initials at the end, not another secret message. Seriously. I had to figure out if a booker really was in doom, or if there was another secret message within it. It was probably an anagram, so I installed a program on my computer to do just that.

It reassembled.

And dessembled.

Before it came up with this mysterious (and probably correct) phrase from the others; Look in my bedroom. I didn't want to do it, but I knew I had to so that we could carry on with our movie, we only had a few months before the deadline. And if the director was still here, he would become a nuclear bomb (metaphorically).

I looked in his bedroom.

I felt like a stalker.

I had checked his wardrobe, but nothing but director-style clothes in there. I even checked his bed, but nothing but mattress and duvet. The last place I checked was his end-table, and that was when things began to get creepier. As if I felt as if I was going to die by being stabbed in the back by a serial killer.

I heard footsteps.

I wasn't armed.

I grabbed a lamp and watched as the shadow of the unidentified person came closer, and closer. The last thing I heard was,
"Miss Hawks, what are you doing with that lamp?" It was Jemima Young, the director's daughter, who knew me well as a friend and someone to discuss their problems.

I explained.

She cried.

I tried to reassure her but I knew that this was a great loss for her, to cheer her up, I said that I was trying to identify what happened to him, and I was always welcome to keep her updated. She sniffled away her sadness, and said her thanks, and left me to carry on studying. So, she walked away to her bedroom.

I heard footsteps again.

Coming up the stairs.

I just ignored it and carried on searching, it might be a police officer or something - probably was. I heard footsteps coming closer, and then heavy breathing. Was this police officer hypo-ventilating or something? I turned around and my eyes met with blank, soul-less ones. A cold sweat ran down my face.

I was scared.

He wasn't.

I didn't know what to do. I could'nt look at his body because I had to keep my eyes fixed on his. His eyes were horrifying to look at close, it was like staring at two white peaches. The fruit. Anyway, I slowly started to back away, shuffling against the carpet, then I slowly got up and backed away more slowly.

Then I ran.

Backwards.

And hit myself on a cupboard. I fell on the floor, my fading eyes staring at the thing. It crawled towards me as I was becoming unconscious. I felt like I was in limbo, just waiting for ages. I'd never been knocked out before, but this blackness wasn't comforting.

I did wake up.

But chained.

I could no longer see the strange human, just a medieval dungeon. Like you'd see in England. Not in California. Maybe this was part of some kind of medieval, if only I could her it move. I did see someone, but they were so far away, I could only guess their shape, which I hoped was fully human.

It walked closer.

With a knife.

And it wasn't the director, or Jemima, or even the strange person. It was a man in a tattered suit with a gristly beard. I'd saw pictures of him before, but I can't really remember where. It was a long time ago when I saw the picture. He chuckled as he introduced myself.

"You know too much", he said.

"I can't let you live."

Another cold sweat came down my face. The man walked closer to me,
"Do you have a problem with sweating?" It was true, I did sweat whenever I was scared,
"Yes, but how do you know?" I silence came between us, then I realised, "are you that strange thing I saw in the director's bedroom?'

He smirked.

"No, what makes you think that?"

His phone rang... I never knew that physcos never turned their phone off whilst killing someone, or it may just have been this person.
"Hello? Jay? I thought you were still in prison? Long time no see! How've you been? Good..." He began, and so I thought of my plan.

His keys were in his pocket.

How stereotypical.

My feet could just about reach them (he was quite close after all) and I snagged them. I managed to get a hold of them, and then unlock myself, and slowly walk away. Still being careful, I walked to the stairs. But then luck came away,
"Goodbye," and then he looked at me.

Mistake.

Big mistake.

He screamed an ear-piercing sound that was unrecognisable and started shooting me. I never noticed the bullet hit my arm. It was an intense pain and made my arm immovable, I had to get to a hospital,
"Next it will be your... BRAINS!"

That was uncalled for.

How did he say 'BRAINS' in a demonic accent.

I started to run up, I was getting even more freaked out by the second. He started to run towards me, closer and closer, he aimed his gun at my face and... he fainted. I didn't understand how, but when I turned around, it was the monster from the bedroom. But I noticed something, he didn't kill me. He was my friend.

Newspaper Article Snippet - 10/12/11 (1 Week Later Kidnapping of Miss Hawks)

After a long search, both Miss Parks and an infamous serial killer have been found dead in the basement of 10 Westwood Drive. The serial killer appeared to have been mangled, while Miss Parks died of a gunshot wound on her right arm. The serial killer's cause of death has yet to have been identified, and his name is Lionel Young.



Tell me what you think!

Last edited by NeilWest (2012-07-10 11:50:11)

777w wrote:

mythbusteranimator wrote:

777w wrote:

i dont think creepypastas can be "official" 
and this is fairly good but i still think candle cove is better

Meh. I still don't get Candle Cove.

what is there not to get?

It just wasn't....creepy at ALL.

mythbusteranimator wrote:

wolvesstar97 wrote:

samid11 wrote:

Well, I was trying to write from the perspective of a fan.

I think that its actually better than the official "scary kids shows" pastas, such as Happy Appy or Candle cove.

+1.
Candle Cove kinda stunk. This is better. Never read HA, never will. I heard it's long and gory.

Candle Cove does stink.
I sorta wanna read Happy Appy, it cant be worse than cupckakes, right?

wolvesstar97 wrote:

mythbusteranimator wrote:

wolvesstar97 wrote:

I think that its actually better than the official "scary kids shows" pastas, such as Happy Appy or Candle cove.

+1.
Candle Cove kinda stunk. This is better. Never read HA, never will. I heard it's long and gory.

Candle Cove does stink.
I sorta wanna read Happy Appy, it cant be worse than cupckakes, right?

candle cove is pretty cool imo
happy appy was so bad it was funny

zbugni wrote:

candle cove may not have been scary, but it was pretty entertaining

but at the end of the day this isnt the place to discuss candle cove
if you want to continue just go to maxskywalkers thread

777w wrote:

zbugni wrote:

candle cove may not have been scary, but it was pretty entertaining

but at the end of the day this isnt the place to discuss candle cove
if you want to continue just go to maxskywalkers thread

Aight I see how it is :'(

wolvesstar97 wrote:

mythbusteranimator wrote:

777w wrote:

i dont think creepypastas can be "official" 
and this is fairly good but i still think candle cove is better

Meh. I still don't get Candle Cove.

Its not even really scary.

@777w - I mean like the original and pretty much official pastas that everyone knows, like Jeff the Killer, Cupcakes, RSE, Candle Cove, Happy Appy, etc.

Gorefics shouldn't count. LIke RSE and CupC.

I plan to write one about Gloomy (the happy-looking koala cat skeleton thing from the deviantART picture "WARNING: Nightmare Fuel" that can be seen on my project "Gloomy for Mcvjjmdm'). Does that sound interesting?

zbugni wrote:

gooby's pretty scary

dont spam please