Scratch

Hansel and Gretel promotes cannibalism 

Why would it be too scary

Thanks for the necrobump I guess

In the original Little Red Riding Hood...

The wolf ate the grandma, and the lumberjack cut the wolf open, thus causing the grandma to fall out alive and well. 

-ReadyRobin

videogame9 wrote:

ReadyRobin wrote:

In the original Little Red Riding Hood...

The wolf ate the grandma, and the lumberjack cut the wolf open, thus causing the grandma to fall out alive and well. 

-ReadyRobin

There was no lumberjack in the original.

Oh, I guess I made a mistake then 

yes. some are a bit creepy!




_______________________________
can you feel the sunshine does it brighten up your day?

Last edited by Lilcat22 (2012-05-05 14:40:24)

maxskywalker wrote:

GLaDOS2 wrote:

Garr8 wrote:

i made up a variation of the three little pigs where they got to grandma's house to escape the wolf. The woodsman is about to kill the wolf but the wolf talks him out of it and says  "Where is the last pig?" and grandma walks out with a tray in her hands and says "i made bacon! who wants some?"

I'm sorry, but I laughed.

My humor is morbid. >:3

I haven't taken out my Morality Core, but I laughed too.

i wouldve laughed if i was capable of laughing at the internet

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Then Jeff jumped out of nowhere and shot him in the head. Humpty fell off the wall, barely alive. He hit the ground cracked his head off, and his guts... you knowhat happened to them.

Cinderella didn't send a good message to their children as it portrays a young woman doing housework all day. As adults we can see the innocence in fairytales, but a five year old with an over active imagination could take things too literally.

G0D_M0D3 wrote:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the king's horses
and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.

Where does it say he's a potato/egg?

happy thoughts, 777w, happy thoughts

Last edited by Haiming (2012-05-28 19:45:46)

Speaking of Grimm fairy tales... I think it's clean.

The Riddle

Once upon a time there was a prince who had a sudden desire to travel about the world. He took no one with him but a faithful servant. One day he came to a great forest, and when evening fell he could find no shelter, and he did not know where he would spend the night. Then he saw a girl who was walking toward a little house, and when he came nearer, he saw that the girl was young and beautiful.

He spoke to her, saying, "Dear child, can my servant and I find shelter for the night in this little house?"

"Oh, yes," said the girl in a sad voice, "You certainly can, but I do not advise you to do so. Do not go inside."

"Why not?" asked the prince.

The girl sighed and said, "My stepmother practices evil arts, and she does not like strangers."

Then he realized that he had come to a witch's house, but because it was dark, and he could go no further, he entered. In any event, he was not afraid.

The old woman was sitting in an armchair by the fire. She looked at the stranger with her red eyes. "Good evening," she croaked, pretending to be quite friendly. "Sit down and rest."

She blew into the coals on which she was cooking something in a small pot. The daughter warned the two to be cautious, to eat nothing, and to drink nothing, for the old woman brewed evil drinks. They slept soundly until early morning.

While they were getting ready to leave, and the prince had already mounted his horse, the old woman said, "Wait a moment. Let me give you a farewell drink."

While she was getting it the prince rode away, and the servant, who had to tighten his saddle, was there alone when the wicked witch came with the drink.

"Take this to your master," she said.

But that instant the glass broke and the poison spilled onto the horse. It was so strong that the animal immediately fell down dead. The servant ran after his master and told him what had happened. However, he did not want to abandon his saddle, so he ran back to get it. When he reached the dead horse a raven was already sitting on it eating from it.

"Who knows if we shall find anything better today?" said the servant. So he killed the raven and took it with him.

They wandered in the woods the whole day, but could not find their way out. As night fell they found an inn and went inside. The servant gave the raven to the innkeeper to prepare for supper.

Now they had stumbled into a den of murderers, and twelve murderers arrived in the dark, intending to kill the strangers and rob them. But before doing so they sat down to supper, and the innkeeper and the witch sat down with them. Together they ate a dish of soup into which they had cut up the raven meat. They had scarcely swallowed a few bites when they all fell down dead, for the raven had passed on to them the poison from the horsemeat.

Now there was no one left in the house but the innkeeper's daughter. She meant well and had not taken part in their godless deeds. She opened all the doors for the stranger and showed him piles of treasure. However, the prince said that she should keep everything. He wanted none of it, and with his servant he rode on his way.

After traveling about for a long time they came to a town where there was a beautiful but proud princess. She had made it known that she would marry any man who could ask her a riddle that she could not solve. However, if she solved it his head would be cut off. She had three days to think about it, but was so clever that she always solved the riddle that she had been given before the deadline. When the prince arrived nine men had already died in this manner. However, he was blinded by her great beauty and was willing to risk his life for it.

He went before her and asked her his riddle: "What is this?" he said. "One killed none, but still killed twelve?"

She did not know what it was. She thought and thought, but she could not solve it. She opened her riddle books, but it was not there. In short, her wisdom was at an end.

Not knowing how to help herself, she ordered her maid to sneak into the prince's bedroom. There the maid was to listen to his dreams, for the princess thought that he would perhaps talk in his sleep and reveal the riddle. However, the prince's clever servant had placed himself in the bed instead of his master, and when the maid came in, he ripped off the robe that she had covered herself with, and then chased her out with a bundle of switches.

The second night the princess sent her chambermaid, who was to see if she would be more successful in listening, but the servant took her robe away from her as well, and then chased her out with a bundle of switches.

The master now believed that he would be safe for the third night, and he lay down in his own bed. This time the princess herself came. She had on a mist-gray robe and sat down next to him. When she thought that he was asleep and dreaming, she spoke to him, hoping that he would answer in his sleep, like many do. However, he was still awake and understood and heard everything very well.

Then she asked, "One killed none. What is that?"

He answered, "A raven that ate from a dead and poisoned horse, and died of it."

She asked further, "But still killed twelve. What is that?"

He answered, "Those are twelve murderers who ate the raven and died of it."

Now that she knew the riddle she wanted to sneak away, but he held her robe so fast that she had to leave it behind.

The next morning, the princess announced that she had guessed the riddle and sent for the twelve judges and solved it before them.

But the youth asked for a hearing, saying, "She sneaked into my room during the night and questioned me. Otherwise she would not have guessed it."

The judges said, "Bring us proof."

Then the prince's servant brought in the three robes, and when the judges saw the mist-gray one which the princess usually wore, they said, "Have this robe embroidered with gold and silver, and then it will be your wedding robe."


And... a sausage story!

Once upon a time a mouse, a bird, and a sausage formed a partnership. They kept house together, and for a long time they lived in peace and prosperity, acquiring many possessions. The bird's task was to fly into the forest every day to fetch wood. The mouse carried water, made the fire, and set the table. The sausage did the cooking.

Whoever is too well off always wants to try something different! Thus one day the bird chanced to meet another bird, who boasted to him of his own situation. This bird criticized him for working so hard while the other two enjoyed themselves at home. For after the mouse had made the fire and carried the water, she could sit in the parlor and rest until it was time for her to set the table. The sausage had only to stay by the pot watching the food cook. When mealtime approached, she would slither through the porridge or the vegetables, and thus everything was greased and salted and ready to eat. The bird would bring his load of wood home. They would eat their meal, and then sleep soundly until the next morning. It was a great life.

The next day, because of his friend's advice, the bird refused to go to the forest, saying that he had been their servant long enough. He was no longer going to be a fool for them. Everyone should try a different task for a change. The mouse and the sausage argued against this, but the bird was the master, and he insisted that they give it a try. The sausage was to fetch wood, the mouse became the cook, and the bird was to carry water.

And what was the result? The sausage trudged off toward the forest; the bird made the fire; and the mouse put on the pot and waited for the sausage to return with wood for the next day. However, the sausage stayed out so long that the other two feared that something bad had happened. The bird flew off to see if he could find her. A short distance away he came upon a dog that had seized the sausage as free booty and was making off with her. The bird complained bitterly to the dog about this brazen abduction, but he claimed that he had discovered forged letters on the sausage, and that she would thus have to forfeit her life to him.

Filled with sorrow, the bird carried the wood home himself and told the mouse what he had seen and heard. They were very sad, but were determined to stay together and make the best of it. The bird set the table while the mouse prepared the food. She jumped into the pot, as the sausage had always done, in order to slither and weave in and about the vegetables and grease them, but before she reached the middle, her hair and skin were scalded off, and she perished.

When the bird wanted to eat, no cook was there. Beside himself, he threw the wood this way and that, called out, looked everywhere, but no cook was to be found. Because of his carelessness, the scattered wood caught fire, and the entire house was soon aflame. The bird rushed to fetch water, but the bucket fell into the well, carrying him with it, and he drowned.

Last edited by Lolkid332 (2012-05-28 21:33:04)

Mokat wrote:

G0D_M0D3 wrote:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the king's horses
and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.

Where does it say he's a potato/egg?

Nowhere.
Oh, lord. It doesn't say he's an egg! DX

Because he's a cannon.
...or it was a riddle ending with 'What is Humpty Dumpty?' and the answer being 'An egg.'