A new story I'm making. Honest feedback, please!
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The Video Game Scrolls
Chapter 1 – I Hate Your Guts
Ka-pow! Take that, Alexander the Great! No more world-conquering for you. And watch out, potential world rulers, for King Max; age seven and a half!
“Max, come down for dinner!” Rats. That was my mom. I guess conquering the world would have to wait a few more hours. I switched off my X-Station, ran downstairs, dashed through the hallway, and sprinted into the dining room.
One glance at the table, and I was out of there. “Max! Come back here! Eat your Brussels sprouts!” my mom yelled. No way was I going back there. I was practically allergic to those… things.
I ran back up to my room, almost tripping over our cat, Don. Don is a really nice cat if you get to know him, so I don’t see why my dad named him that. His name means a horrible person on a certain website.
As I walked back to my room (the incident with Don encouraged me to), I was thinking about Conquest, the game I was playing. I switched on my X-Station and selected ‘Play Conquest’ from the menu.
The title screen came up. “Conquest: The quest of conquering”, it read. What a lame title. I went through the menus until I came to the campaign selection screen. The most recent campaign I had completed was the Persia campaign.
The next campaign to complete was the Napoleon one. As I started the campaign, the doorbell rang from downstairs, bringing sound waves from down there to up here.
I ran downstairs and pulled open the door before my mom could. It was Robby, my next door neighbor, my friend from school, and my campaign buddy.
“Hey, what’s up?” Robby said casually as if he rang my doorbell every single evening. “Umm… the sky?” I answered. Robby frowned. “Want to go conquer some countries?” I asked before he could punch me in the guts. Believe me, it hurts.
This one time, when Robby and I went to the zoo, I joked, “Hey, Robby, look, it’s your long-lost relatives.” I was saying this as I was pointing to the gorilla habitat. You know what happened next, and you don’t want to know what happened after.
So, as Robby and I ran upstairs, I said, “Rob, what campaign you on?” “The Cold War.” he answered. I nodded for no reason. “You know, sometimes, Mackster, I just hate your guts, you know what I mean?” I didn’t.
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Shadowsonics wrote:
His name means a horrible person on a certain website.
Dictionary.com wrote:
don: a person of great importance.
Get your facts straight, kid.
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videogame9 wrote:
Shadowsonics wrote:
His name means a horrible person on a certain website.
Dictionary.com wrote:
don: a person of great importance.
Get your facts straight, kid.
Haha...
Shadowsonics wrote:
His name means a horrible person on a certain website.
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