Scratch

Pardon me, but what are you guys doing? 

Anyway, should I post the first few paragraphs of my Mr. Sausage Man creepypasta to show what it will be like? I want to make sure I get feedback.

Ashurathehedgehog wrote:

Sausagefanclub wrote:

Pardon me, but what are you guys doing? 

We are doing a live creepypasta.

creepypasta LIVE!

Ok, I'm just going to post the first two paragraphs of my creepypasta. If you're having trouble understanding the characters, the "Characters" page under "Sausage Stuff" on my (scratch-approved) website should cover that (except for Lady Lettuce, she's minor). Please give me feedback!

Mr. Mayor's Pocket Dial

Mr. Sausage Man was playing checkers with Mr. Ribs when it happened. The phone rang four times before Mr. Ribs picked it up. "Hello?" He could hear someone screaming with glee in the background, as well as the sound of Lady Lettuce announcing the news on someone else's TV. Nobody responded, but he could hear slow breathing and a cough every now and then, followed by a moan. There was also a strangely peculiar buzzing noise. He turned on the speaker so that Mr. Sausage Man could hear. Curious, Mr. Sausage Man walked to the phone and checked the caller ID. The caller was Mr. Mayor. Immediately, the person on the other line hung up. "Something's not right... Mr. Mayor never pocket dials anyone." Mr. Sausage Man said. "Definitely. You should probably go and investigate." Mr. Ribs agreed. Mr. Sausage Man nodded and headed toward the garage door. He looked back at Mr. Ribs. "You coming?" Mr. Sausage Man asked. "I guess... Sure." Mr. Ribs followed him into the teleporter machine they had borrowed from Mr. Noodle last week.

Once they arrived, Mr. Ribs took a look around the mayor's mansion. "Man, it sure has been a while since the last time I came here... the mayor's birthday party..." He said. Mr. Sausage Man could hear the buzzing noise in the background. There was also the sound of static coming from the nearby room. Lady Lettuce had finished her news report, so the TV station was currently off-air. Mr. Ribs walked into the room and turned the TV off. "No use wasting power on a TV that doesn't work." Now the house was plunged in silence, except for the eerie buzzing noise. It was coming from upstairs. "I think that's where the call came from. Follow me." Mr. Sausage Man said as he hopped up the stairs. The light in the bathroom was on. There was some red liquid soap spilled on the doorknob. "Looks like somebody forgot to dry their hands..." Mr. Ribs said in an amused tone. "Hey, the buzzing sound's coming from in there." Mr. Sausage Man said. He walked through the door and turned to look at the bathroom sink. Suddenly he took a few steps back and gasped in shock.

Ooh, cliffhanger...
Wait a few more weeks and I'll hopefully have the completed story up. For now, PLEASE give feedback, tell me what you liked, and what I should improve.
btw, I've already done half of the third paragraph. That's where things get scary.

Ha: So...lets hack into the creepypasta site kids! *death stares close to the camera that got turned on by td* *it appears as an episode of blues clues LIVE on the nick jr channel*

Db: ...why did i just say that?

samid11 wrote:

Ashurathehedgehog wrote:

Db: ...why did i just say that?

WHY THE HECK IS SLENDERMAN IN MY CREEPYPASTA FORUM?!

Me: For the same reason td is.

Td: 

samid11 wrote:

Ashurathehedgehog wrote:

samid11 wrote:

WHY THE HECK IS SLENDERMAN IN MY CREEPYPASTA FORUM?!

Me: For the same reason td is.

Td: 

(FYE slendy only knows a little english.) Me: *takes a bite out of happy appy* bleh. That's no red delicious.

Ha: *death-stares you*

samid11 wrote:

Ashurathehedgehog wrote:

samid11 wrote:

(FYE slendy only knows a little english.) Me: *takes a bite out of happy appy* bleh. That's no red delicious.

Ha: *death-stares you*

Me: *stares with pupil-less eyes*

Td: Stop it appy.

Ha: .............................Ok.

Td: Sami?

samid11 wrote:

Ashurathehedgehog wrote:

samid11 wrote:

Me: *stares with pupil-less eyes*

Td: Stop it appy.

Ha: .............................Ok.

Td: Sami?

Me: *stares and is lost in thought and daydreaming*

Td: Oh great. Me: *enters the dream* Sami? Td wants you to wake up...*appy death stares at "Me" in the dream*... *eyes are pupil-less.*

samid11 wrote:

Ashurathehedgehog wrote:

samid11 wrote:

Me: *stares and is lost in thought and daydreaming*

Td: Oh great. Me: *enters the dream* Sami? Td wants you to wake up...*appy death stares at "Me" in the dream*... *eyes are pupil-less.*

Me: *wakes up*

Me: *is now awake*

Sausagefanclub wrote:

Ok, I'm just going to post the first two paragraphs of my creepypasta. If you're having trouble understanding the characters, the "Characters" page under "Sausage Stuff" on my (scratch-approved) website should cover that (except for Lady Lettuce, she's minor). Please give me feedback!

Mr. Mayor's Pocket Dial

Mr. Sausage Man was playing checkers with Mr. Ribs when it happened. The phone rang four times before Mr. Ribs picked it up. "Hello?" He could hear someone screaming with glee in the background, as well as the sound of Lady Lettuce announcing the news on someone else's TV. Nobody responded, but he could hear slow breathing and a cough every now and then, followed by a moan. There was also a strangely peculiar buzzing noise. He turned on the speaker so that Mr. Sausage Man could hear. Curious, Mr. Sausage Man walked to the phone and checked the caller ID. The caller was Mr. Mayor. Immediately, the person on the other line hung up. "Something's not right... Mr. Mayor never pocket dials anyone." Mr. Sausage Man said. "Definitely. You should probably go and investigate." Mr. Ribs agreed. Mr. Sausage Man nodded and headed toward the garage door. He looked back at Mr. Ribs. "You coming?" Mr. Sausage Man asked. "I guess... Sure." Mr. Ribs followed him into the teleporter machine they had borrowed from Mr. Noodle last week.

Once they arrived, Mr. Ribs took a look around the mayor's mansion. "Man, it sure has been a while since the last time I came here... the mayor's birthday party..." He said. Mr. Sausage Man could hear the buzzing noise in the background. There was also the sound of static coming from the nearby room. Lady Lettuce had finished her news report, so the TV station was currently off-air. Mr. Ribs walked into the room and turned the TV off. "No use wasting power on a TV that doesn't work." Now the house was plunged in silence, except for the eerie buzzing noise. It was coming from upstairs. "I think that's where the call came from. Follow me." Mr. Sausage Man said as he hopped up the stairs. The light in the bathroom was on. There was some red liquid soap spilled on the doorknob. "Looks like somebody forgot to dry their hands..." Mr. Ribs said in an amused tone. "Hey, the buzzing sound's coming from in there." Mr. Sausage Man said. He walked through the door and turned to look at the bathroom sink. Suddenly he took a few steps back and gasped in shock.

Ooh, cliffhanger...
Wait a few more weeks and I'll hopefully have the completed story up. For now, PLEASE give feedback, tell me what you liked, and what I should improve.
btw, I've already done half of the third paragraph. That's where things get scary.

Sorry for bumping the creepypasta I posted earlier, but could somebody please give me feedback? It took me an hour to type that using my Wii. It feels like everyone's ignoring me... -_-

Ashurathehedgehog wrote:

samid11 wrote:

Ashurathehedgehog wrote:

Me: *is now awake*

Me: *pokes DB*

Db: *dies again*

Me: *falls asleap again XD*

imnotbob wrote:

How about a real creepypasta?!

Look, some CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM should be nice, but this is my first one. if you want to complain, do it on my youtube account, dbn300100.