Scratch

I like my pasta calm...

Last edited by funelephant (2012-03-12 21:11:58)

NeilWest wrote:

banana500 wrote:

NeilWest wrote:

Why is no-one looking at my creepypasta Jack?

I read it, and it was interesting enough. Also, you switched to first-person from third-person somewhere halfway through, and that kind of confused me. Is it a proper creepypasta? Hmm...I'm not sure, but then again, only a few creepypastas can be considered "proper".

Well, I noticed that most of mine were lacking in gore, unlike other famous creepypastas.

Not all creepypastas need to have blood and gore. Some of the really good ones don't at all. For example, BEN. That's one of the greatest creepypastas ever, but it doesn't have any violence at all. All that matters is the real "scary" factor.

If you want to learn more about writing horror, read a Stephen King book. 

"Hey bonehead!"

Danny strolled past Winston and his cronies, ignoring them, and hoping that they would stop.

"Hey, bonehead, I'm talking to you!" Winston yelled again. "Don't you ignore me!"

Just ignore them. They're all idiots themselves.

Winston moved his monstrous body toward Danny and pushed out with two large, meaty arms. Danny fell forward onto the sidewalk, flat onto his face. His chin hit the cement with such hard impact that blood dribbled down from his teeth and out his lips. Danny heard the laughs of Winston's gang of bullies--of sadists.

Danny allowed himself up and turned around. "Just leave me alone!" he cried, but it wasn't very understandable, because of his broken teeth.

"What was that you said?" Winston taunted. "Oh, that's right, you've got a busted chin!"
He and his brutes laughed again.

Danny backed away, but Winston rushed forward and grabbed him by the collar. Winston then pushed Danny away, this time with extra force. Danny tumbled backwards onto a nearby metal trash can. The trash can toppled over onto him, spilling out rotten banana peels, discarded papers and soda cans, and other garbage that released a horrible aroma.

Tears started to stream out of Danny's eyes, just as blood flowed out of both his nostrils like twin rivers. Winston and his cronies turned around and began to walk away, still laughing their heads off.

Danny looked to his right, and sticking out of the side of a mound of trash was a knife handle. Danny clutched the handle and pulled the rest of the knife out, revealing a shiny silver blade.

And then he had a wicked idea.

Danny shoved garbage off of his body and stood up. Still holding the knife, he quietly walked over to Winston's back and tapped him on the back with one finger.

Winston swerved around. "Oh, it's you again! Back for more, eh?"

"Quite the opposite, actually!" Danny swung his clenched fist at Winston's face, smacking him across the cheek. Winston spun to the right, and before he could fight back, Danny thrust the knife into Winston's chest.

No mercy.

Winston screamed out in terror as Danny hacked the knife out, and Danny once again kicked him squarely in the ribs, making him collapse onto the hard concrete sidewalk. He pleaded for Danny to stop, but his cries were finally pacified when Danny raised his foot and stomped it onto Winston's abdomen.

Danny looked up at the two cronies, his retinas turned from green to blood red. The cronies turned and ran as fast as they could, their feet pounding against the gray concrete, thump, thump, thump.

Danny grinned.
________________________________________________________________________________

Sorry if this was a little too violent, but what did you think?

samid11 wrote:

agscratcher wrote:

samid11 wrote:

I assure you, they aren't related.

Slendy lied. They're cousins and good friends. He just doesn't want you to ruin his family's peace and tranquility. (Not to mention Slendy lives in The Rake's house, and doesn't want pitiful humens [yes, that is intentional] disturbing him.)

...That doens't explain why the heck slendy eats me so much

You must be wearing a suit of candy.

GLaDOS2 wrote:

Ashurathehedgehog wrote:

Ok, whom is glaDos?

Me...

You look like that thing from the portal 2 ad...are you actually NICOLE from SatAM???

samid11 wrote:

Ashurathehedgehog wrote:

GLaDOS2 wrote:

Me...

You look like that thing from the portal 2 ad...are you actually NICOLE from SatAM???

GLaDOS is the name of "that thing from portal 2". That's what she was telling you. The character is named GLaDOS. and she's not a "THING". She's an AI.

Ok, I only played the FLASH portal game.

videogame9 wrote:

Ashurathehedgehog wrote:

samid11 wrote:

GLaDOS is the name of "that thing from portal 2". That's what she was telling you. The character is named GLaDOS. and she's not a "THING". She's an AI.

Ok, I only played the FLASH portal game.

Well, I PLAYED all the PORTAL games.

BACK ON TOPIC, PLEASE.

I'm going to post a creepypasta then to get this back on topic.

Blackmen by NeilWest

A little girl lay on the ground, outside a hotel, covered in blood and glass. A man came over and walked to her, a tear fell in his eye. He wanted to put it right. So, he grabbed a small machine out of his pocket, and pressed a button on it. Everything around the man started reversing. He was reversing time.

The girl slowly blinked and flew into the sky, then through a smashed window, which repaired itself. She walked backwards to her mother and father, both with hideous black monsters clambering on them and violently shaking them about. The girl ran through the door and (keep in mind this is reversed) was chased by a horde of these monsters.

She ran through the reception, the cafe, and then came to the man's feet, who wasn't affected by the time reversal. The man carried time on. The girl and the man ran towards the beach, crawling with survivors. Then, a pack of the monsters came running down the hill, one hissed in a woman's face, "We are the Blackmen!" before shaking them about, crashing them forcefully into walls.

The duo ran towards the beach hut, before locking the door. The girl asked, "Who are you?" and the man replied, "The man." The girl thought for a second and then said, "My name is Elisha. What are these, 'Blackmen'?" The man looked into thin air, he didn't reply. At that moment, a Blackman ripped the door open and screamed at their faces. The man stopped time, carried Elisha past the Blackman and then continued time.

"How did we get here?" Elisha asked, "No time for that, we need to get you to your parents," the man replied. They ran into the hotel, through the reception and cafe and into Elisha's room. Elisha's parent's were holding off Blackmen with a hatchet and knife. "Honey, go somewhere safe! Who is this man?" Elisha ignored her and ran to her bedroom.

Looking around for any potential weapons, she saw a Blackman barge the door open. The man and Elisha were cornered. The Blackman then leaped onto Elisha's shoulders and wildly drove her around. The man kicked the Blackman in the face, sending him through the window to the ground. A black liquid streamed out of it, which then evaporated.

Then a Blackman suddenly punched the man in the head, and a black liquid streamed down his face. Elisha backed away, as the man fell to the ground. Then, the Blackman threw Elisha through the window, plummeting to the ground. This time, no-one could save her.

NeilWest wrote:

I'm going to post a creepypasta then to get this back on topic.

Blackmen by NeilWest

A little girl lay on the ground, outside a hotel, covered in blood and glass. A man came over and walked to her, a tear fell in his eye. He wanted to put it right. So, he grabbed a small machine out of his pocket, and pressed a button on it. Everything around the man started reversing. He was reversing time.

The girl slowly blinked and flew into the sky, then through a smashed window, which repaired itself. She walked backwards to her mother and father, both with hideous black monsters clambering on them and violently shaking them about. The girl ran through the door and (keep in mind this is reversed) was chased by a horde of these monsters.

She ran through the reception, the cafe, and then came to the man's feet, who wasn't affected by the time reversal. The man carried time on. The girl and the man ran towards the beach, crawling with survivors. Then, a pack of the monsters came running down the hill, one hissed in a woman's face, "We are the Blackmen!" before shaking them about, crashing them forcefully into walls.

The duo ran towards the beach hut, before locking the door. The girl asked, "Who are you?" and the man replied, "The man." The girl thought for a second and then said, "My name is Elisha. What are these, 'Blackmen'?" The man looked into thin air, he didn't reply. At that moment, a Blackman ripped the door open and screamed at their faces. The man stopped time, carried Elisha past the Blackman and then continued time.

"How did we get here?" Elisha asked, "No time for that, we need to get you to your parents," the man replied. They ran into the hotel, through the reception and cafe and into Elisha's room. Elisha's parent's were holding off Blackmen with a hatchet and knife. "Honey, go somewhere safe! Who is this man?" Elisha ignored her and ran to her bedroom.

Looking around for any potential weapons, she saw a Blackman barge the door open. The man and Elisha were cornered. The Blackman then leaped onto Elisha's shoulders and wildly drove her around. The man kicked the Blackman in the face, sending him through the window to the ground. A black liquid streamed out of it, which then evaporated.

Then a Blackman suddenly punched the man in the head, and a black liquid streamed down his face. Elisha backed away, as the man fell to the ground. Then, the Blackman threw Elisha through the window, plummeting to the ground. This time, no-one could save her.

That reminded me of the Dead Island trailer. 

Every creepypasta:

Once, ____ murderard ____.

I am now dead

YOUR NEZT

Last edited by spongebob123 (2012-03-14 18:59:37)

MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT A REAL CREEPYPASTA IT MAY BE HORRIBLE
It is a Friday. The kind of day where you are carefree, the sun is shining and the birds are singing in the clouds. The kind of day where you let your guard down.
Don’t.
Because when you do; they come.
They know your name.
They know where you live.
They know your age, gender, hair-color, eye-color, favorite things, and least favorite things.
You are scared of how sick and twisted they are and want them to disappear forever.
But you can’t.
Their permanent, perfection streak.
Their flawless body-type.
They win every game.
They beat you at every race.
They have the “best” clothes before you do.
They.
Always.
Win.
Yet you must understand that they are not just annoying, phony clones of you.
No, they are your true soul.
Inside everyone wants to be perfect.
They feed on your anger and use it to mock you.
Do not let the beast in you win.
Do not.

;_;