Scratch

echs wrote:

A lot of misspelled words.
Also some grammatical mistakes.

That's just me typing too fast.
Or maybe the fact that I wrote it at ten last night when I was tired, and didn't bother reading over it. 

AtomicBawm3 wrote:

echs wrote:

A lot of misspelled words.
Also some grammatical mistakes.

Yep.  It was interesting...you seemed to change styles a couple of times and you definitely changed from the present to the past to the future and jumped all around in time relevance, that was the main thing I saw wrong.

That's actually part of it. Well, if you could see inside my head, you would know what I mean.

AtomicBawm3 wrote:

bananaman114 wrote:

AtomicBawm3 wrote:

Yep.  It was interesting...you seemed to change styles a couple of times and you definitely changed from the present to the past to the future and jumped all around in time relevance, that was the main thing I saw wrong.

That's actually part of it. Well, if you could see inside my head, you would know what I mean.

I think I do see it, but the transitions are almost non-existent.

Well.
They will be much more existant later.

Wow... that's great! If you're interested, on my account just for posting stories (Liduen) I'm trying to organize a group of Scratchers who like to write. I'm still working the details out, but look here if you are interested 

Bump.

bdn7 wrote:

Interesting... very interesting. Just by reading that, I can tell Anthony Horowitz is one of your influences. Your style of writing is very similar to mine.

Actually, I've never read an Anthony Hororowitz.
I'm oing to soon to see what you meant.

designer45 wrote:

Add more line breaks so we can read it easierly. But good otherwise.

Easierly?
Anyway, I haven\t gotton around to that yet.

ThePCKid wrote:

I've corrected the story (nice, there were only about seven errors  ):

Blake Edwards swung open the door of the Prima Caffeterta, the exact same way he had every day for months, ever since the Fortissimo Maxima Coffee bar and Grill had burned to the ground. He mulled his way past the usual New York crowd. Nobody would usually pay any attention to the individual people caught in the hustle and bustle that is New York. Nobody normal, at least. Blake Edwards is not normal. There is the fine lady with the small black leather purse whose hair is tied in a pony tail behind her head. Out goes the surly trucker with the red vest who frequents the cafe. And, of course, the dashing young man with short black hair and the brown fedora, his nose tucked into the Journal as usual. No, Blake Edwards was far from normal. He sat down in his usual stool, reserved from him by the other frequents. He poured over the drinks section of the bulletin board as he did every day, even though everyone knew he would order the Supreme Cafe Late. Why wouldn't he? It was a reliable drink. He had immersed himself in the rich taste of the coffee every day for months. In fact, it was already ready for him before he had sat down. Then, as per usual, he stood up, left his drink, and made for the washroom. People had often remarked at how long Blake Edwards took in the washroom. The reality was: he used the toilet, washed his hands, and stared into the mirror for a bit. Who was Blake Edwards? He himself would like to know. His name was not Blake Edwards. His initials were not B.E, but yet that is what he signed all of his letters with. Why? If Blake Edwards were to have told you you wouldn't live another day. He would have to kill you. I, on the other hand, am not bonded by such restrictions. I can tell you. Blake Edwards is a spy. He pulled out the small glass vial out of his pocket, (as per usual, not that anyone would know.) and downed it's contents. It tasted awful, but one day it may very well save his life. He walked out into the lounge. The short haired man with the fedora was just sitting down again. What had he been doing up? ask the waitress. She'll tell you he was just making small talk. Blake Edwards knew that wasn't true. He sipped his late. What happened next was far from normal: he fell to the ground, writhing in pain. He yelled out: "WHY SUPREME CAFE LATE? WHY?" No, Blake Edwards is not normal.

Thanks.

bdn7 wrote:

bananaman114 wrote:

bdn7 wrote:

Interesting... very interesting. Just by reading that, I can tell Anthony Horowitz is one of your influences. Your style of writing is very similar to mine.

Actually, I've never read an Anthony Hororowitz.
I'm oing to soon to see what you meant.

Hmmm. I had a feeling you would say that (about not reading Anthony Horowitz). You would really enjoy his books. The best are the Alex Rider books, and the second best are the Gatekeepers books.

Okie, be sure to check him out.