Scratch

rabbit1131 wrote:

scimonster wrote:

rabbit1131 wrote:

Looks like my writing. You really have a mastery of the writing trait as all my teachers say I have. Maybe we should start a little collaboration writing a story... IDK. I really do enjoy writing. I always turn in essays within a day and get and  A+  . You wanna think about trying to write a story?

I run my own family newspaper. (hint)

You want to help?

Perhaps. 
Depends what you want to write.

rabbit1131 wrote:

scimonster wrote:

rabbit1131 wrote:

You want to help?

Perhaps. 
Depends what you want to write.

I don't know. But not a murder thriller  . I want something good though...

We could chat on Hamachi if you would like.. Easier to share ideas. Just google "Hamachi download" download it, and then join the group "Scratch chat" Pass = "Friday"... We can talk there!

werdna123 wrote:

That's pretty creepy. Half way through I'd forgotten it was just a story. It was really great how you made it seem so realistic. And I love the ending, how it's just a sudden ending.

Heehee, thanks! I'm glad you liked it ^^

DEADDDDDD

@scimonster- Nah, I haven't been published. I'd love to have a book on the shelves though! I lose concentration after a bit, unless writing is all I can do, like in History class.

@rabbit- It would be really cool to collab on a story 

YES !!!!!!!!!!!!! , You are brilliant when it comes to writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last edited by fanofcena (2011-05-02 12:31:26)

fanofcena wrote:

YES !!!!!!!!!!!!! , You are brilliant when it comes to writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@jeff- Lol, I was depressed when I wrote it. I'm okay now ^^

scimonster wrote:

Earthboundjeff wrote:

I would suggest a mental health evalutation, but otherwise good!

LOL.

*Books into the local lunatic asylum*

dude this is so amazing

i like how it wasn't to short, or emo either. it was just her being fed up with life and deciding it wasn't worth all the pain. it's pretty beautiful too, and i don't really have any critique c:

I like it!

Despite being somewhat depressing, I like it.

It'd have been interesting if right before she hit the ground, she thought twice about ending her life. Still, pretty good.

The_Dancing_Donut wrote:

Sunrise-Moon wrote:

It'd have been interesting if right before she hit the ground, she thought twice about ending her life. Still, pretty good.

I thought you were ruffle -.-
Changing my sig now ^_^

I thought about puting this...

So I hurl myself off the cliff.
It's so exhilarating...

I feel like I'm flying...
But then I fallllllll....
Oh God, what have I done?

...


Silence.

Yeah, I like that ending.

The_Dancing_Donut wrote:

A piece of writing, off the top of my head 

There I lie, gazing absent-mindedly up at the stars. I was slowly realising that this could be the last time I saw the vast deep-blue blanket of the sky, the last time I had a moment to gather my thoughts, and remember.
It's so quiet; so peaceful. There is nothing here - just me, and fields that stretch for miles around me. There is a cool breeze blowing in off the sea, yet I am so worked-up and twitchy I feel as if I'm roasting in an oven. My fringe is obscuring my eyes, so I automatically flick it away; and warily heave myself up off the fine grass. For a split second, I feel a little lost: but when I work out which direction the sound of the ocean is coming from, I stumble forwards like a robot, lead only by the soothing sound of the sea.
I'm being tipped over the edge of sanity.
It's so awful being weighed down by worry, anxiety, stress. My shoulders are tensed and I'm shaking uncontrollably. Every time a seagull cries out, soaring through the bejeweled skies; I jump - frozen with panic. I clench my fists, hoping that I can get a grip on myself; yet my fears become increasingly irrational. I let out a shrill cry as a wave batters the cliff-face, I nibble my fingernails fearfully, terrified of running into a drunk or a psycho; preying on girls like me out late...
What time is it? I've lost track. I lift up my trembling wrist, and examine my watch. The monotonous ticking is driving me crazy, and my achy eyes won't focus for long enough to tell the time. All I can work out is that it is VERY late.
Why, oh why did they have to be so cruel? No-one understands the pain I am suffering, the pure heartache. I am dying inside - I have no future. My life is no purpose, I am pointless. I will end it all NOW.
It's not like anyone will notice I am gone. My family may feel the odd pang of grief, a slight void in their lives when they peer sadly at family photos. I would be my parent's forgotten daughter, tragically taken from them by Death. They would be upset at first, but time would heal the wounds.
I'm going to do it.
There's no going back.
I edge ever closer to the cliff's edge. The sea air is bracing - it washes over my face and helps clear my mind. My short skirt billows out behind me, and my hair is tangled; manipulated by the wind. I shuffle to the edge, carefully prying the fence posts apart - the fence posts intended to stop suicidal people from jumping.
It's pathetically easy to make it to the VERY edge of the cliff. I lean forward, beads of sweat gathering on my brow. I can see the beach below, changing huts organised in neat red and blue rows. They look like ants from here. I hope I land somewhere discreet, it would be so embarrassing if someone found my mangled body next to an ice-cream kiosk, or somewhere exposed...
Why am I fussing about such trivial matters at a time like this? I'm just delaying everything. Tears pouring down my face, I turn around; careful not to slip over the edge, or let any rock crumble beneath me. I wave in our hotel's general direction, then face the ocean... close my eyes, and pray.
I take one last refreshing gulp of salty sea-air, whisper my final goodbyes. Looking to the sky, I lift one foot from the slippery rock, but am somehow off-balance by the violent sound of crashing waves far below.
I feel half-dead with shock, so I take my chance. I feel faint, as I haven't taken a breath for what seemed an eternity. I'm slipping out of consciousness. But it doesn't matter, it doesnt matter...
So I hurl myself off the cliff.
It's so exhilarating!
It feels like I'm flying, the wind blowing on my face...
But then I realise I am mortal.
I fall.

The ground is near...oh God, what have I done?
There's no second chance.
It's over.
A few feet more...






Silence.



What do you think? 

Edited a bit 

The_Dancing_Donut wrote:

The_Dancing_Donut wrote:

A piece of writing, off the top of my head 

There I lie, gazing absent-mindedly up at the stars. I was slowly realising that this could be the last time I saw the vast deep-blue blanket of the sky, the last time I had a moment to gather my thoughts, and remember.
It's so quiet; so peaceful. There is nothing here - just me, and fields that stretch for miles around me. There is a cool breeze blowing in off the sea, yet I am so worked-up and twitchy I feel as if I'm roasting in an oven. My fringe is obscuring my eyes, so I automatically flick it away; and warily heave myself up off the fine grass. For a split second, I feel a little lost: but when I work out which direction the sound of the ocean is coming from, I stumble forwards like a robot, lead only by the soothing sound of the sea.
I'm being tipped over the edge of sanity.
It's so awful being weighed down by worry, anxiety, stress. My shoulders are tensed and I'm shaking uncontrollably. Every time a seagull cries out, soaring through the bejeweled skies; I jump - frozen with panic. I clench my fists, hoping that I can get a grip on myself; yet my fears become increasingly irrational. I let out a shrill cry as a wave batters the cliff-face, I nibble my fingernails fearfully, terrified of running into a drunk or a psycho; preying on girls like me out late...
What time is it? I've lost track. I lift up my trembling wrist, and examine my watch. The monotonous ticking is driving me crazy, and my achy eyes won't focus for long enough to tell the time. All I can work out is that it is VERY late.
Why, oh why did they have to be so cruel? No-one understands the pain I am suffering, the pure heartache. I am dying inside - I have no future. My life is no purpose, I am pointless. I will end it all NOW.
It's not like anyone will notice I am gone. My family may feel the odd pang of grief, a slight void in their lives when they peer sadly at family photos. I would be my parent's forgotten daughter, tragically taken from them by Death. They would be upset at first, but time would heal the wounds.
I'm going to do it.
There's no going back.
I edge ever closer to the cliff's edge. The sea air is bracing - it washes over my face and helps clear my mind. My short skirt billows out behind me, and my hair is tangled; manipulated by the wind. I shuffle to the edge, carefully prying the fence posts apart - the fence posts intended to stop suicidal people from jumping.
It's pathetically easy to make it to the VERY edge of the cliff. I lean forward, beads of sweat gathering on my brow. I can see the beach below, changing huts organised in neat red and blue rows. They look like ants from here. I hope I land somewhere discreet, it would be so embarrassing if someone found my mangled body next to an ice-cream kiosk, or somewhere exposed...
Why am I fussing about such trivial matters at a time like this? I'm just delaying everything. Tears pouring down my face, I turn around; careful not to slip over the edge, or let any rock crumble beneath me. I wave in our hotel's general direction, then face the ocean... close my eyes, and pray.
I take one last refreshing gulp of salty sea-air, whisper my final goodbyes. Looking to the sky, I lift one foot from the slippery rock, but am somehow off-balance by the violent sound of crashing waves far below.
I feel half-dead with shock, so I take my chance. I feel faint, as I haven't taken a breath for what seemed an eternity. I'm slipping out of consciousness. But it doesn't matter, it doesnt matter...
So I hurl myself off the cliff.
It's so exhilarating!
It feels like I'm flying, the wind blowing on my face...
But then I realise I am mortal.
I fall.

The ground is near...oh God, what have I done?
There's no second chance.
It's over.
A few feet more...






Silence.



What do you think? 

Edited a bit 

snap, aw snap


noice, regret is always something to relate to

although not really jumping off a cliff type of regret