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#1 2010-01-28 17:25:19

VolknerN7Xfish
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-12-15
Posts: 100+

funny jokes!

There are 2 rules:

Keep all jokes G-Rated
Have fun!



Here is my joke:
Charecters: kid and lunch lady

Kid: can i have a peanut butter jelly sandwitch?
Lunch lady: yes  *gives sandwitch*
Kid: *Smells* ewwwwwwww! this smells like pee!
Lunch lady: That's what you asked for. A Pee-nut butter jelly sandwich.

that joke is not made up by me, my friend made it up.


Everything is better if you add Fish,Because when you have lightning,your life is frightning  cool
lets punch captain crunch!

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#2 2010-01-28 17:45:30

Mr_X
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-09-10
Posts: 1000+

Re: funny jokes!

Character and Sandwich


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#3 2010-01-28 18:20:07

big-bang
Scratcher
Registered: 2008-02-21
Posts: 1000+

Re: funny jokes!

VolknerN7Xfish wrote:

Kid: can i have a peanut butter jelly sandwitch?
Lunch lady: yes  *gives sandwitch*
Kid: *Smells* ewwwwwwww! this smells like pee!
Lunch lady: That's what you asked for. A Pee-nut butter jelly sandwich.

that joke is not made up by me, my friend made it up.

Your friend is evidently in grade 2 to find that funny.


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#4 2010-01-28 18:27:27

Ace-of-Spades
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-01-08
Posts: 1000+

Re: funny jokes!

A doctor goes up to a woman who just gave birth. "I have good news and bad news." he states. "The bad news is that your baby is a ginger." "Oh dear.." says the woman. "What's the good news?" she asks. "Well," replies the doctor....... [my friend told me never to repeat this joke because it's just terrible, so I'll leave the rest up to your imaginations to keep it E rated]

Last edited by Ace-of-Spades (2010-01-28 18:30:20)


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110101010010001010101010101010101010101010100110101010010101010010101001101011010101010010101010101

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#5 2010-01-28 18:30:10

littletonkslover
Scratcher
Registered: 2008-12-12
Posts: 1000+

Re: funny jokes!

.....I shouldn't say X3


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#6 2010-01-28 18:54:07

VolknerN7Xfish
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-12-15
Posts: 100+

Re: funny jokes!

big-bang wrote:

VolknerN7Xfish wrote:

Kid: can i have a peanut butter jelly sandwitch?
Lunch lady: yes  *gives sandwitch*
Kid: *Smells* ewwwwwwww! this smells like pee!
Lunch lady: That's what you asked for. A Pee-nut butter jelly sandwich.

that joke is not made up by me, my friend made it up.

Your friend is evidently in grade 2 to find that funny.

no he's in 3rd


Everything is better if you add Fish,Because when you have lightning,your life is frightning  cool
lets punch captain crunch!

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#7 2010-01-28 19:04:22

Mr_X
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-09-10
Posts: 1000+

Re: funny jokes!

VolknerN7Xfish wrote:

big-bang wrote:

VolknerN7Xfish wrote:

Kid: can i have a peanut butter jelly sandwitch?
Lunch lady: yes  *gives sandwitch*
Kid: *Smells* ewwwwwwww! this smells like pee!
Lunch lady: That's what you asked for. A Pee-nut butter jelly sandwich.

that joke is not made up by me, my friend made it up.

Your friend is evidently in grade 2 to find that funny.

no he's in 3rd

Same diff


http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/8656/exveemonc.gif The rules of the internet:
1) Every woman is a man    2) Every man is a child    3) Every child is an FBI agent                                        I have psychopathic tendencies. Be afraid

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#8 2010-01-28 19:11:48

darkknuckles
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-09-20
Posts: 100+

Re: funny jokes!

What do chickens and bands have in common?
Drum sticks.

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#9 2010-01-29 12:55:32

everythingRhymes
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-12-03
Posts: 100+

Re: funny jokes!

Ace-of-Spades wrote:

A doctor goes up to a woman who just gave birth. "I have good news and bad news." he states. "The bad news is that your baby is a ginger." "Oh dear.." says the woman. "What's the good news?" she asks. "Well," replies the doctor....... [my friend told me never to repeat this joke because it's just terrible, so I'll leave the rest up to your imaginations to keep it E rated]

ohh that's evil if it's what i think it is

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#10 2010-01-29 19:07:55

throughthefire
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-07-09
Posts: 1000+

Re: funny jokes!

There's an academy where only cyclops can go to. One kid there has glasses, so when he passes some bullies they say "Two eyes! Two eyes! You got two eyes!"

Get it?
Kudos to my friend Brady for this joke


Back. For now. Maybe.

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#11 2010-01-29 19:21:00

Ace-of-Spades
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-01-08
Posts: 1000+

Re: funny jokes!

It isn't that good. It's not that original either. There's one with a Fly school, then they call the glasses kid 120 eyes or whatever.


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110101010010001010101010101010101010101010100110101010010101010010101001101011010101010010101010101

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#12 2010-01-29 20:36:18

darkknuckles
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-09-20
Posts: 100+

Re: funny jokes!

<when[ fart ]key pressed>

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#13 2010-01-29 20:37:28

BWOG
Scratcher
Registered: 2008-09-19
Posts: 1000+

Re: funny jokes!

darkknuckles wrote:

<when[ fart ]key pressed>

*Looks at keyboard for fart button*

None to be found, sorry.

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#14 2010-01-29 20:37:55

darkknuckles
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-09-20
Posts: 100+

Re: funny jokes!

<when green flag clicked> <when[ fart ]key pressed> <when[ fart ]clicked> <wait( fart ) secsc>

Last edited by darkknuckles (2010-01-29 20:38:23)

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#15 2010-01-29 20:44:34

darkknuckles
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-09-20
Posts: 100+

Re: funny jokes!

<move( 6 ]for( pooping in your pants ]and wait>

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#16 2010-01-29 21:15:55

big-bang
Scratcher
Registered: 2008-02-21
Posts: 1000+

Re: funny jokes!

Let's just let darkknuckles spam this thread with idiocy and find the old joke thread in TBG.


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#17 2010-01-30 03:57:03

billyedward
Scratcher
Registered: 2008-01-03
Posts: 500+

Re: funny jokes!

Q. How many elephants can you fit in a volkswagon beetle?
A. Four: Two in the front, two in the back.
Q. How do you know that an elephant's been in your fridge?
A. Footprints in the peanut butter.
Q. How do you know that two elephants have been in your fridge?
A. Two footprints in the peanut butter.
Q. How do you know that three elephants have been in your fridge?
A. Three footprints in the peanut butter.
Q. How do you know that four elephants have been in your fridge?
A. Volkswagen beetle parked outside!

Q. How do you fit an elephant in your fridge?
A. Open the door, put the elephant in, close the door!
Q. Now take a guess at how to fit a giraffe in your fridge...
...
...
...
...
...
... OK, think you have it?
...
...
... Bet you're wrong...
...
A. Open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, close the door!


"I'd love to change the world, but they haven't released the source code yet."
Check out the latest version of Streak --> http://billy.scienceontheweb.net/Streak

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#18 2010-01-30 04:27:06

juststickman
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-05-31
Posts: 1000+

Re: funny jokes!

Waffle. ^.^


http://is.gd/iBQi2 Add grob to your sig and help with world dominiation!http://is.gd/iBQ9Q                                                             Hey guys, we're seriously naming our team bob?

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#19 2010-01-30 13:04:47

Ace-of-Spades
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-01-08
Posts: 1000+

Re: funny jokes!

billyedward wrote:

Q. How many elephants can you fit in a volkswagon beetle?
A. Four: Two in the front, two in the back.
Q. How do you know that an elephant's been in your fridge?
A. Footprints in the peanut butter.
Q. How do you know that two elephants have been in your fridge?
A. Two footprints in the peanut butter.
Q. How do you know that three elephants have been in your fridge?
A. Three footprints in the peanut butter.
Q. How do you know that four elephants have been in your fridge?
A. Volkswagen beetle parked outside!

Q. How do you fit an elephant in your fridge?
A. Open the door, put the elephant in, close the door!
Q. Now take a guess at how to fit a giraffe in your fridge...
...
...
...
...
...
... OK, think you have it?
...
...
... Bet you're wrong...
...
A. Open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, close the door!

None of them were good. Not that I could do much better with the number of 12 year olds around here.


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110101010010001010101010101010101010101010100110101010010101010010101001101011010101010010101010101

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#20 2010-01-30 13:34:08

webgal15
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-06-17
Posts: 1000+

Re: funny jokes!

-Begin-

You are in jail. You look around, and you see that your cellmate is a 5 year-old child. You stare at him, and then at the passing by police. Then, they both burst out laughing. "What? Is this some kind of joke?" You ask. Then, they both fall over. LAUGHING.

"Yes. You are in a fake cell on a TV show. You're also in books. Joke books.

"But this isn't even funny!" You yell.

You then find a corn on the cob glued to your head. "Yep... it was corny!" The 5 year-old laughed.

You are getting mad. "THIS ISN'T CORNY! IT'S JUST PLAIN STUPID!"

-Fin-

Last edited by webgal15 (2010-01-30 17:12:07)


Now only using this account to post in Miscellaneous, but when Miss_Webgal becomes a Scratcher I'm ditching this account.

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#21 2010-02-01 00:44:02

Food-dude
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-08-16
Posts: 100+

Re: funny jokes!

<if>Eat beans <forever> fart

Last edited by Food-dude (2010-02-01 00:44:55)


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#22 2010-02-01 00:58:41

ScratchX
Scratcher
Registered: 2009-05-05
Posts: 1000+

Re: funny jokes!

Here is one  big_smile

A man at a restaurant desperately needed to pass gas so he looked around the room...The whole restaurant was filled with people. However, he noticed that the music was on loud so he timed his fart perfectly to the beat and he let out a big rip. Suddenly, EVERYBODY was looking at him...Then the man remembers that he was listening to his IPod the whole time...
lol


Happy New Year!
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#23 2010-02-01 01:43:15

08jackt
Scratcher
Registered: 2007-09-12
Posts: 1000+

Re: funny jokes!

darkknuckles wrote:

<when[ fart ]key pressed>

LOL.

(why i found that funny, i dont know...)


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#24 2010-02-01 03:43:45

Chrischb
Scratcher
Registered: 2008-07-24
Posts: 1000+

Re: funny jokes!

I don't.  hmm

I prefer ScratchX's one.


I fall: It's a tragedy. You fall: It's comedy.
Hmph enjoy your fall - I get a lovely spring... without pans of new leaves.

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#25 2010-02-01 04:15:53

Jonathanpb
Scratcher
Registered: 2008-07-25
Posts: 1000+

Re: funny jokes!

Ace-of-Spades wrote:

billyedward wrote:

Q. How many elephants can you fit in a volkswagon beetle?
A. Four: Two in the front, two in the back.
Q. How do you know that an elephant's been in your fridge?
A. Footprints in the peanut butter.
Q. How do you know that two elephants have been in your fridge?
A. Two footprints in the peanut butter.
Q. How do you know that three elephants have been in your fridge?
A. Three footprints in the peanut butter.
Q. How do you know that four elephants have been in your fridge?
A. Volkswagen beetle parked outside!

Q. How do you fit an elephant in your fridge?
A. Open the door, put the elephant in, close the door!
Q. Now take a guess at how to fit a giraffe in your fridge...
...
...
...
...
...
... OK, think you have it?
...
...
... Bet you're wrong...
...
A. Open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, close the door!

None of them were good. Not that I could do much better with the number of 12 year olds around here.

Ace, you obviously didn't get the whole joke in the first paragraph. The point was that there was the Volkswagen Beetle at the beginning, and then it appears at the end as a surprise. That paragraph was all one joke

Sorry Ace, but - why are you always criticizing everyone and insulting people? We don't like that.

Last edited by Jonathanpb (2010-02-01 04:18:21)


"Human beings... must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it.
-Charlotte Brontë

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