Scratch

  That's like the 3rd time someone's told that joke

Teacher: Who signed the Declaration of Independence?
Johnny: I don't know, and I don't care.
Teacher: Listen, young man; if you signed it, admit it!

an astronomer ran a red light. The police man gave him a ticket for running the red light ($50) He said to the police man "I was going so fast it looked green" then the policeman gave him a speeding ticket and doubled the fine.

I'm constantly pursued by brilliant ideas, but I am faster than them!

  that's actually true

If you have a nervous tick, don't use a tranquilizer...you'll never get the pill down its tiny little throat!
-Matt Gallant, Planet's Funniest Animals

1. knock knock.
2.Who's there?
1.Me! ___insert name here___!

  I've heard that one before.  Where did you get it?

Answering machine message:
You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me...

1    thats of chrisality, and i am not cristian.
2 
Gaint teabag protest

3/10

The teacher asked the question to the students;There were three pidgeons on a branch what would hapen if the tree fell down.A student then raised his hand and said they would fly away.The teacher then said back to the student "No one would come back, but I like your thinking."The student asked the teacher if he could ask a question and the teacher said yes, here was the students question and the real joke;
If there are three woman sitting on a bench each of them have a icecream.Women #1 licks the icecream. Women number 2 bites the icecream cone and women number three shoves the icecream into her mouth who is married?The teacher answers the problem."Well I geuss the one who shoves it into her mouth."The student retorts and says "No it's the women with the marraige ring but I like your thinking."

There is a mirror in Las Vegas that will grant you a wish if you tell it the truth, or it will poof you away. a redhead, a brunette and a blonde all go up to the mirror. the redhead says,"i think i'm the most beautiful woman alive."

POOF! the redhead is gone.

the brunette says, "i think i'm the sexiest woman alive."

POOF! the brunette is gone.

the blonde goes up to the mirror and says, "i think-"
POOF!

so? still funny




W00T 700TH POST!

Last edited by joeisawesome (2009-06-17 17:12:41)

5/10

Man I just spent like 3 minutes typing out the 'Do pickles have bones'? joke but then I realized I'd get banned if I posted it, so no joke.

what do you call a snail on a boat?
a snailor!
hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Last edited by Blade-Edge (2009-06-20 18:00:15)

how am i disrespecting the rules now? -,-
stop being mean to me

2 guys walk into a bar. the bar says watch where your going!!!