Scratch

A skeleton walks into a bar, sits down on a stool and says to the bartender "Give me a beer...and a mop".

*points down to sig*

Last edited by MyRedNeptune (2009-04-21 13:46:26)

And now for some of my native jokes.    Tried to translate...

Russian tales - good defeats bad.
American tales - in the end, good kicks bad with the right leg of Chuck Norris
Italian tales - in the end, good proposes marriage to bad
Manga tales - in the end, good defeats bad with difficulty, and then dies in unimaginable sufferings.
Chinese tales have many ends...
Friendly tales - good is good, and bad is bad.
Unfriendly tales - good is bad, and bad is worse
Japanese tales - takeshi kitano shao zin pin yang
Zen buddhist tales - good had a dream that it was bad that had a dream that it was good that had a dream that is was...
Hermaphrodite tales - there is no good or evil, there is Goodevil.
Gipsy tales - good steals good, and there is no evil at all.
Advocate tales - good acquits bad.
Cannibal tales - good eats bad.
Spy tales - the most evil-ish evil in the world is a secret good.
Lawyer tales - good is not responcible for the harm inflicted on bad according to statement 3.5.18 of the "Good and bad" contract #666.
Astrologic tales - good always knows exactly when it will die.
Advertisement tales - Good defeats bad!.. Good defeats bad!.. Good defeats bad!..
In Albert Einstein's tales, everything is relative...


Awwwwww it doesn't sound as hilarious as it does in Russian... D: *epic failishness*
hmmmmmmm...

Last edited by MyRedNeptune (2009-04-22 00:59:10)

When a Quaker wants to deter a burglar, they grab the gun and say, "Pardon me, friend, but thou standest where I am about to shoot."

a man just got fired from an m&m factory. his friend asks "why did you get fired?" the man responds, "i threw out all of the w 's."

why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side!

"Knock, knock. Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Let us dance."

what pencil one?

Two tomatoes are in a refrigerator. One tomato says to the other: "Brrrrrr!!! It's so cold in here..." The other turns to him and screams: "AHHHHHHH!! It freakin talks!!!"

Last edited by MyRedNeptune (2009-04-23 12:04:11)

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? 'Cause 7, 8 (ate), 9!!!!"

Q. What's the difference between terrorists and the IRS?

A. You can negotiate with terrorists.

bosox397 wrote:

floatingmagictree wrote:

Uh...I'll just give you an 8/10 knowing that it'll sound funny in polish.

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, fifteen miles, and finally nineteen miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.

tomgalaxyzoo wrote:

0/10
No Joke

You don't get it because you have no sense of humor.

  I've heard that so many times and how could you not get that Tomgalaxyzoo?

ITS NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!