Scratch

a man walks into a bar "ouch"

6/10

(I made this one up when i was 8)
What is a tree's favirote (US)state?
Oak-lahoma

0/10
No Joke

Uh...I'll just give you an 8/10 knowing that it'll sound funny in polish.

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, fifteen miles, and finally nineteen miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.

tomgalaxyzoo wrote:

0/10
No Joke

You don't get it because you have no sense of humor.

Sonic drinks a Mountain Dew. It rots his teeth and he runs to Alpha Cantarui.

7/10

Last edited by Xkhaoz (2009-04-18 19:23:28)

boo 1/10

floatingmagictree wrote:

Uh...I'll just give you an 8/10 knowing that it'll sound funny in polish.

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, fifteen miles, and finally nineteen miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.

tomgalaxyzoo wrote:

0/10
No Joke

You don't get it because you have no sense of humor.

  I've heard that so many times and how could you not get that Tomgalaxyzoo?

One day little Tommy was walking with an older neighborhood kid named Billy Bob and he got curious.

“Billy Bob,” Tommy asked, “How come everyone calls you by your first name and your middle name instead of just Billy?”

“Well,” Billy Bob answered, “When I was little like you, I used to get in trouble a lot, and when I did my mom always called me by both names. I guess after a while, it just stuck.”

“Oh no!” Tommy cried. “I’d better straighten up then!”

“Why’s that?” Billy Bob asked.

“I don’t want to end up being called ‘you little sh#!’ for the rest of my life!”

Tell this to dis someone you don't like. Put the real names in the joke though.

3 guys go to heaven. You, your best friend, and someone you hate. Lately there has been a duck infestion and if u step on a duck you get chained to the most ugly person in heaven at the time for the rest of your life. So you step on a duck and get chained to this really ugly person. The next day, your best friend steps on a duck and gets chained to this even uglier person. Then you see the person you hate walking down the street chained to this insanely hot girl. so you ask how you got her and she says "I stepped on a duck"

bosox397 wrote:

Tell this to dis someone you don't like. Put the real names in the joke though.

3 guys go to heaven. You, your best friend, and someone you hate. Lately there has been a duck infestion and if u step on a duck you get chained to the most ugly person in heaven at the time for the rest of your life. So you step on a duck and get chained to this really ugly person. The next day, your best friend steps on a duck and gets chained to this even uglier person. Then you see the person you hate walking down the street chained to this insanely hot girl. so you ask how you got her and she says "I stepped on a duck"

Biff went to a storefront psychic for some spiritual guidance. "There seems to be a horrible, dark cloud surrounding me."
"I know," said the psychic, "and for a hundred dollars, I can rid you of it."

Biff thought the fee was high, but, eager to be cured, he handed over the money to the psychic. After pocketing the fee, the psychic then pulled out a book of matches and lit one.

Then Biff asked, "What do you call this dark and horrible curse?"

The psychic waved the match down behind Biff and said, "Mexican food."

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day.  One man said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?"
"I don't know," responded the other.  "I'll ask him."
So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. "Why are we digging in the hot sun while you're standing in the shade?"
"Intelligence," the boss said.
"What do you mean, intelligence?"
"I'll show you.  I'll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can."
The ditch digger did as he was told and swung at the boss's hand.  The boss removed his hand so the digger hit the tree and hurt his hand.  The boss said, "That's intelligence!"
Back in the hole, his friend asked "What did he say?"
"He said we are down here because of intelligence."
"What's intelligence?"
"I'll show you."  The first digger put his hand on his forehead and said, "Take your shovel and hit my hand."

Father to teenage daughter: "Is something wrong with you?  Usually you're on the phone for hours, but this time it was only 20 minutes!  What happened?"
Daughter: "Wrong number!"

Last edited by SmartIrishKid (2009-04-20 18:47:25)